Commissioner Vapor/IF-4.3245

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The Traveller

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Commissioner Vapor at their Rumor Registry.

Commissioners Log: Season 7, Day 82 (Or at least that's what they told me.)

This is all Parkers fault. Not this worlds Parker, "Intern-Interim Commissioner" or whatever that ridiculous title is… MY Parker, "Assistant to the Commissioner" Parker.

That weasel convinced me to investigate the rift over Los Angeles, being a Commissioner dedicated to Doing A Great Job, I agreed it was a pertinent issue to investigate. That was my first mistake.

The second was letting Parker manage the anchor rope of the hot air balloon I rode up for a closer look. As soon as I had taken my eyes off the rat he cut the line, and I didn't even notice until I tried to signal down the dangling line for an emergency recall. Two sharp tugs on a slack line quickly brought the frayed end to my hand, and I barely had enough time to curse before the sparking rift yawned briefly wider and drew me and my highly combustible vessel into its Unlimited maw.

I was vaporized instantly as the vehicle ignited.

But not killed, never killed, the Blaseball gods in their infinite wisdom and power would never let me be killed in such a mundane fashion. Instead I found myself transported thousands of kilometers  and an untold number of dimensions away to take the place of an incinerated player in the game I had watched over for so long, trapped inside a facsimile of the atmospheric protective gear I had worn to examine the rift.

When I arrived I found myself bombarded by a deluge of aqueously imbued questions, what my stats were, why I was wearing that suit, and the one I felt compelled to answer first "What's your name?" I replied the only way I could "You can call me Commissioner, or 'The Commissioner' if you're feeling formal. Shouldn't you know who I am?"

This was greeted with an assault of laughter, "Commissioner?! Of what? Vapour!?" The individual who had spoken gestured towards my still smoking form, and what I was just now realizing was the gaseous shape within my helmet. Shocked, but not wanting to give this person the benefit of the last word due to my current vexation I simply replied "Yes. " and picked up some debris within arms reach that crudely resembled a bat and walked towards the stadium.

I now know the position I am in, that of a Player in the oldest and first splort, but that won't change my goal or purpose. To find a way back to my dimension before my Parker ruins everything. In order for this worlds "Commissioner" Parker to take me seriously though (They deny my very existence in this universe!!), I MUST gain recognition and climb the Idolboard.

I AM The Commissioner, and I'm here to do what I do best. A Great Job.

Let's Play Blall!