Walton Sports

From Blaseball Wiki

Walton Sports is a pitcher for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. Sports has been with the team since Season 1.

Official League Records

During the Season 9 election, Sports received the Friend of Crows modification due to the passing of the Forecast: Birds decree.

During the Coffee Cup, Sports played for Atlético Latte as a pitcher.

History

COMMUNITY LORE

The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Note from Historian Inumo

The primary text of this page documents the most commonly observed version of this player on the Blaseball field. For other versions, see the Interdimensional Rumor Mill below. If you have information regarding this player, see the team's contribution guidelines for information about how to add it to this page.

Despite being statistically the best original pitcher on the team, Sports is widely reviled by fans, teammates, staff, officials, and everyone else who has ever met him for his consistent pattern of Unsplortsmanlike conduct. In the darkest corners of Breckenridge, some even whisper that Sports does not think the commissioner is doing a great job. Sports, of course, denies any such allegations, and insists he feels The Commissioner is doing a perfectly adequate job given these trying circumstances.

The origins of Sports' Unsplortsmanlike conduct is a topic of frequent discussion, but many point to his tendency to expound upon hypothetical changes to the rules of Blaseball, such as the immediate ending of a game after entering Shame, the exclusive hiring of umpires who cannot incinerate players, or the ability to change pitchers in the middle of a game. Sports has also devised a variety of new splorts such as "curling," a splort bearing many similarities to clurling at first glance, but using a specialized stone instead of a perpetually screaming head. Interviews with fans suggest these and other unusual ideas form the basis of many fans' dislike of Sports.

Sports' walk-up song is the entirety of Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring". Luckily, as he doesn't bat, it never plays.

Season 3

After August Sky joined the Jazz Hands in Season 3, Day 23, Sports' teammates reported a shift in his behavior. Lowe Forbes claims that they heard Sports say "the Commissioner is doing a great job" during a recent pitching practice, though none of the other pitchers could confirm this. When asked to comment on this rumor, Sports looked to the dent in the stadium wall from Sky's pitches and said, "I don't know anything anymore."

Season 5

With the arrival of the Alternate Reality Campos Arias at the end of Season 4, Sports was reported to take a more relaxed approach to the game. Fans speculate that with Arias and Sky pitching talent, Sports realised there was less pressure on him to perform.

Sports wasn't required to pitch in the Playoff quarter- or semi-finals but pitched against the Chicago Firefighters in Game 4 of the Finals and was Shamed.

Season 6

August Sky left the Jazz Hands in the Season 5 elections which caused Sports to be the team's second highest starred pitcher after Arias. It is rumored that he has been more stressed during team practices or "Jam sessions" recently. Teammate Tamara Crankit has stated that ze saw Sports topping up the bird-feeder in the team's locker room, which was used by Sky when they were present on the team.

Season 9

As a result of maintaining the bird feeder for August Sky, Sports attracted a following of birds. Though initially hesitant to associate with them based on Sky's opinions of other birds, after a bird swarm freed Jessica Telephone in Season 7 he began actively feeding local birds. This ultimately resulted in him becoming a Friend of Crows in the Season 9 elections aftermath.

Divination Practices

During a chance encounter, Andrew Solis gifted Sports a deck of cards made of cheap cardstock and depicting a series of people dressed in unusual facsimiles of Blaseball attire. These cards, which Solis called "baseball cards," presumably identify a number of semi-divine figures related to Solis' unusual rituals surrounding the "sport" of "baseball," and thus are typically considered an esoteric tarot deck. Sports uses this unusual deck during his pregame ritual of cartomancy. Teammates who ask Sports for a reading from this deck report that his confidence in readings ranges from casual certainty to forthright confusion, though his readings are rarely provably wrong.

Interdimensional Rumor Mill

No other versions of Walton Sports have been observed. If you have information regarding a different version of Walton Sports, please add it here.

Fan Art