Baldwin Breadwinner/Rumor Registry

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Baldwin Breadwinner has 8 Rumors written about so far.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-12.886

Blot

As any diabolist worth their salt, Baldwin's way with words is immaculate. She is one of the few who ever equaled Case Sports in the verbal joust (though never bested), and the two formed a lifelong correspondence as work colleagues of the inky arts. At their funeral, Baldwin read for them a poem so beautiful that the audience sobbed tears of black blood, electronics fried for five hundred meters out, and flayed beasts fell from the sky like stars. Well, people assume it was beautiful because nobody remembers a word of it, but these are all known symptoms of beauty.

Baldwin has a propensity to forget things, as a consequence of her line of work. When she realizes her wallet isn't with her at the coffee shop, she would simply strike another inconsequential deal with one of her retainers to fetch it for her, conjure a cup, some coin, or get her surreptitiously behind the counter. Sometimes the cost would be that she buys her companion a sandwich with her coffee, sometimes it's a bathtub of blood, it's capricious. The number of deals she has made in her life as checks, balances, traded favors, defense mechanisms, contractual traps, and loophole jambs, has made Baldwin a conceptual fortress of a person, someone against whom neither man nor demon could approach with ill intent. Her nonchalance at sacrificing parts of herself that others on the Crabs saw as essential made her an imposing companion on the team.

In the Ascension, however, Crabs found themselves in a dangerous place. Many of the players sacrificed comfort for survival in those hostile waters. Baldwin was no stranger to sacrifice, and was very quick to escalate her behavior. She burned a lot of favors and not a few bridges in that place.

When the team descended in the flood, many of them came back hardened by their time above, but Baldwin seemed to hold together better than most of her teammates, was most like who she was before the climb (though such memories of her is stained by the red ink of innumerable contracts). However, as the others softened at the creature comforts of their home city, Baldwin did the opposite. Her bickering bouts with Brock Forbes took a bitter aftertaste, what was once healthy banter became a point of concern for him. Kennedy and Bevan both grew concerned at little changes in her behavior, but couldn't get past the walls she was putting up.

On Season 13, Day 23, Baldwin Breadwinner swallowed a stray peanut and had an allergic reaction, and with that, her facade caved. A discreetly recorded conversation in a Baltimore diner between her and Kennedy showed her finally knocking those walls down and coming clean with her frustrations:

"...gave it my all to get here, to be the best player I can, and then I gave so, so much more than my all to be even better. It didn't work, sure," [laughing] "but I still gave. I don't know how much I lost to this game. And I made it to the top, with the team, we got through it together, did unspeakable things to achieve it, and now...I guess I'm still not really that good," [laughing] "but more than that, I don't have it in me to keep caring. I made it to the top, and I got my achievement. I know you're all eager to pick up the pace again, shoot to the top of the world like before. I don't have that. It's time I started figuring out where the road takes me next." [shushing Kennedy Loser's protests] "Stop, stop projectin- yeah, I know you're gonna project some bullsh- Kennedy please shut up and treat this like something I actually want and not like a sacrifice or so help me I will teach you the meaning of sacrifice." [audio distortion fades] "Look. It's time to move on, somewhere calmer. I'm gonna give other things than blaseball a try. Maybe somewhere with beaches again."

Before the Ink Dries

Baldwin took the rest of the season lightly. With her decision made, she used the remaining time in the season to try and live demon-free, or at least demon-light. It didn't do much to improve her blaseball playing, but it was definitely less stressful to juggle all those dealings all day. It did mean that her fortress of a self began to show cracks she'd otherwise scramble to hide away, and through those cracks there slithered in the whispers of some gentle violent dead. She kept her at a distance, but found her an interesting enough conversation partner. Her carcinization was subtle, locks of her hair began to tangle together into almost featherlike appendages, setae for filtering plankton.

Something about finishing off her last year with the Crabs lit a fire in her, however, and as the Crabs began their postseason sweep, Baldwin played a significant role in it, doubling her at-bat performance and performing well above her star rating. The actual motivations are unclear, but in interviews she would joke about "having a good send-off" and "giving them a little something to remember me by." Facing both the Fridays and the Tacos on the road to victory, Baldwin stared down the new and only history she's forged these past decades; and closed this chapter in her life by getting good, no deals necessary. All three teams at her back symbolically and literally, she left the victory parade and kept on walking, towards whatever the future brings.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-140.28

An Introduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell when she didn't get transferred to the Hawai'i Fridays on Season 7, day 73. She had no memory of ever having met her before becau█e she ha██'█. ███b█ ██ ███ ███u██ █████████, ████ █████i█ ████ ████ ████ ███ ███████ █████ ████.


TIME UNTANGLES
TWO THREADS EMERGE

An Introduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell when she didn't get transferred to the Hawai'i Fridays on Season 7, day 73. She had no memory of ever having met her before because she hasn't. Maybe it was mutual unreality, with Baldwin only half real and Harrell being ████. Maybe it was a mutual temperament, both having learned to play to the give and take of the world. Maybe it was a mutual interest, long hours of baking bread together, and the in between, where dough needs time to rise. They filled a space in one another.

The dread was there the moment she hadn't laid eyes on Harrell, really. Like tracing the fray of pre-torn shorts. What they must have looked like, had they never been cut, a world removed from when you held them in your hands. The dread only grew when she held her in her hands.

When a deal is cut signed, there is a give, and a take. She will never remember the things that were given away, as she never remembers the things she took; the good gentleman holds the thread, he holds the scissors. He gave you nothing, because it was what you asked for. She can't remember the things that were given, as she never remembers the things he took. But she can infer.

███ █████████ ███ █████ ██ ██. In a diner at the edge of that place, two patrons eat at the finest of restaurants. She cuts history with a fork and knife, and it was cooked to perfection, juicy and peppered. ███ █████████ the taste ██ ██. He cuts ████████ with a fork and knife, and locks eyes with her as he chews.

Baldwin, she thinks to herself when she looks at her. You're sharper than this. You can infer.

...

There is always a price, with you, old friend.

Would she give a stranger to the ████, for promise of everything nothing? Of course she would, has given more for less before. Except, not before, the deal is the first thing she has ever done.

What value to you is the promise of a loved one, when you haven't even met? There are plenty of fish in the sea, they say. Of course she would, she has given more for less before. Except-

A future for a past. There is always a price, with him.

They were supposed to have a future together.

They were supposed to have a future together.

They w████ ████████ ██ ████ █ ██████ ████████.

An Introduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell when she didn't get transferred to the Hawai'i Fridays on Season 7, day 73. She had no memory of ever having met her before, despite havin█ ███ ████ ███ because she hasn't. Maybe it was mutual unreality, with Baldwin only half real and Harrell being ████. Maybe it was a mutual temperament, both having learned to play to the give and take of the world. Maybe it was a mutual interest, long hours of baking bread together, and the in between, where dough needs time to rise. They filled a familiar space in one another.

The dread was there the moment she didn't lay eyes on Baldwin, really. Like catching a forgotten, poisonous memory of middle school antics ██ years later, and wishing with sour face to let yourself forget again. You let the memory slip from you hands. The dread only grew when she held her in her hands.

A good gentleman promises to do it clean. The nail is sharp pen is steady, and the line draws straight across. But this world isn't a clean one, and nothing can be perfect, even at the hand of the master. Baldwin and Harrell's fingers clasp together like puzzle pieces, like key in lock, like gnashing teeth. There was a █a█████-shaped hole at her side, where she isn't on the couch.

This isn't a memory, because these things didn't happen. Harrell has never been, especially not at the ████████ ██stitute of Occult Practices and D███████ ████, and if the ████ has anything to say about it, she never will be. Baldwin Breadwinner has never been, up until the moment her hand let go of the good gentleman's grip. It's a fantasy, the things that seep on in between us, things neither of us imagine.

Baldwin Breadwinner is writing fiction about herself by candlelight. Little stories, like, what if we met in season 1? What if we met before we started playing? What if we me█ ██████ ███ thread ███ ███? What if we met be████ ███ ███e██ ██s cut? What if we met?

What if we met?

This isn't a memory, because these things didn't happen. Harrell and Baldwin have been strangers both, up until Season 7, day 73. Then why, when they hold hands, do they find themselves standing together before the sigil?

They weren't supposed to have met before.

They weren't supposed to have met before.

They weren't s███████ ██ ████ ███ ██████.

Baldwin.

TIME UNTANGLES
TWO THREADS EMERGE

An Introduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell many years before when she was feedbacked to the Hawai'i Fridays they knew each other for so, so longch passing day would pull them farther apa████ █████████

███████████ ██████ ██ ████ ████████ ████, ██████I'll meet you there███████,

██████████████████
██████████████████
████B█████████████
██████████████████
██aldwin, it████s
████████ok████████
█████████████████?

Baldwin Breadwinner made a choice.


Baldwin Breadwinner paid a price.

Season 7, Day 73

It's not often that someone can leave a diabolist at a loss for words. Harrell doesn't wait, patiently, for Baldwin to pick up where she left off. She doesn't smile as the seconds pass. You will not take this moment from me.

The mirror looks so upset with her that evening and she doesn't know which of them is the one making the face. Why does looking at her face take her back to the handshake? The snip deal was supposed to be clean. This isn't what she signed up for. Against the very rules of the real, she remembered something:

At the edge of that place, on a creaking, foggy dock, two figures sit before a flowing knit sweater. Fingers bloodied, she unravels carefully the hem at its waist. The good gentleman, ever a master at his craft, delicately does the same at the collar. ████ ████ █████ █eet, they lock eyes w███ ████ █████.

Baldwin Breadwinner loses her composure. ███I'm holding form, despite the pressure. I'm so nea█, █████ ██.

There isn't a contract anymore. There's no renegotiating what is happening here. Baldwin tries to draw the sigil, but she can't remember the shape. Besides, the good gentleman is already here.

A Recollection

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell as initiates in the I████████ ██ ███ult Pr███████ ███ ███████c Arts. They became fast friendsTHE MOMENTS THAT WE SHARED and █████ ███████ █ █████████.

██gredients are disclosed a█ ███████:

  • Mercury, approx. 15.96mol
  • Bone (cor███), six birds, ground
  • Tar, for sigil
  • Yucca, 2 bushels
  • Pair of scissors one dining knife ███ pair of sc██████
  • ███ █████, █astefully arrange█ [██PORTANT]
  • Effigy for the moment first moments (in past rituals, use of ██adem, baby shoe, and ██████ have resulted in ███████)
  • Entrails, █████ (███cm)
  • ███Not this. Not this.█?
  • Geode, shaved and polished smooth on the inside
  • Bottle of pinot grigio, any
  • The list is tattered past this entry.

An Introduction

The dread was there the first moment she shared with her.

The dread was there the first moment she didn't see.

The dread was there tThere was another feeling, past the dread, there was another feeling there. Dig deeper, Baldwin.

The dreadwas there just like last time.

An Introspection

Baldwin Breadwinner paid a price. She must have. Or, perhaps, ███████ ████ ██LUNTEERED.

When Harrell doesn't fall asleep against her shoulder, █Baldwin-

When Harrell falls asleep against her shoulder, the way it feels right and the way it feels like the world is ending are the same feeling.

Baldwin, dearest. You know this wasn't part of the deal.

TIME UNTANGLES
TWO THREADS EMI WILL TEAR THE CLOTH FROM YOUR HANDS

An IntrI will not let you take me.oduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell when she didn't get transferred to the Hawai'i Fridays on Season 7, day 73. She had no memory of ever having met her before because she hasn't, just like everybody else.

There is no recorded history of any will so defiant before the cosmos that it would carve itself into causality by force. But there is no recorded history of all the wills who fail to do so, either. But if there was something worth being for, why aren't we drowning in the incorporeal? It takes a keen lack of eyes to see the drowning. Harrell is taking it a step further, into being.

Harrell is breathing air today, on Season 7, Day 73.

You do not get to unwrite my story.

Baldwin Breadwinner doesn't lock eyes with Harrell. When their eyes don't meet, a circuit closes, somewhere deeper than bone.

At the edge of that place, the trees grow thin, but they grow tall. Two old friends are sitting by a fire, sharing a bottle of wine. Baldwin Breadwinner is crying, and the paths of her teardrops crawl down her frame and through the dirt, and up to the good gentleman's eyes. The more she recalls to him, the more she sobs, and he cries with her in reverse. They're both laughing between gasps too, like every word is part of a great stretching punchline. When she sees through her tears, through his tears, and looks into his eyes, she █████ █████████ █recious t█ ███.

But despite everything, that something refuses to be lost.

The ███ ██ ███ ██ne

Baldwin, she thinks to herself, are you really going to let this get to you? She's bested worse foes than he, though few are really worse. She grits her teeth between pursed lips.

For the first time in years, a loaf is burnt.

An II will not let you take her from me.ntroduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet ██████ ███████ ████ ███ ████'█ ███ ██ansf█████ ██ ███ ███████ ███████ ██ Season 7, Day 73. By Season 7, Day 74, everything had gone wrong.

Maybe you don't remember, for having eaten the memory, but I deal too. I already have. Which of us is going to blink first, ████████████?

Ingr█████ts ███ ███closed as f██████:

  • █ ████ all purpose flour, █ ████ bread flour
  • ███ ███ sugar, █ ███ salt, █ ███ instant yeast Baldwin.
  • █ ███ █████ oat milk
  • ███ ████ silken tofu
  • █ ███ apple cider v█Baldwin, look,█████
  • ██ █████ soft vegan butter
  • For the wash: █ ████ oat milk, █ ███ agave nectar, █ ███ cornstarch
  • In a bowl, ██ ████ █When I first saw you kneading, I wondered how such force could come from hands so gentle.██x well until chains form.
  • Gradually ███ ███ ██tterThe flecks of color in your eyes form constellations I could chart better than the very stars.creased by up to 50%. Refrigerate.
  • DivIt's like swimming up a waterfall every single moment, except when I'm with you, and it goes so still.██ ████ ████. Place in gr█████ pans and let rise.
  • Preheat the oven to ████I don't remember you either, but we're sharper than this. We can infer., ███ █████, ██ ██ █████ ███. Enjoy!
It vexes me, Harrell, to be bested in my own domain. Causality can be such a fickle thing, as can I. But, old friends, I am willing to concede to you here. We can do this forever, or I can let you two have each other, for a price. There was going to be a price.

From nothing, nothing.
There are things stronger than the bones of this place.

An Introduction

Baldwin Breadwinner didn't meet Harrell when she didn't get transferred to the Hawai'i Fridays on Season 7, day 73. She had no memory of ever having met her before because she hasn't. Maybe it was mutual unreality, with Baldwin only half real and Harrell not being at all. Maybe it was a mutual temperament, both having learned to play to the give and take of the world. Maybe it was a mutual interest, long hours of baking bread together, and the in between, where dough needs time to rise. They filled a space in one another.

Baldwin doesn't know if Harrell isn't because of her actions, or because of Harrell's own. Or perhaps, Harrell isn't because she isn't, and neither of them have anything to do with it. When things are wrong, or sad, or hurting around Baldwin, she tends to jump to that same scenario: is this the price she doesn't remember that she paid? So of course she would think that this is all her fault.

This wouldn't be the first time she's struggled to keep her distance from those she wants to protect. Nor is it the first time that she'd lose in that struggle. Already, the Fridays look up to her like some kind of team mom, and Harrell is starting to get the same treatment, and they keep ending up having to wrangle that responsibility together, and afterwards, alone together, with the mess of the day to clean after, there she isn't again.

When she looks into the mirror, she sees herself smiling more. She doesn't trust the smiles in the mirror, they could be her own but most times they belong to someone else, and it scares her when he has something to smile about. But she isn't so worried anymore, because she knows. Besides, what would that geezer have to be smiling so much about anywa-

Trade to the Baltimore Crabs

...

Hey Baldwin.

...

It's been a while, since we talked. Technically, we've never actually talked, but you know that. Ha ha.

Your starter almost died, nobody was checking on it since you left, but I kept some in the freezer from maybe a year and a half back, so I just wanted you to know it's safe. The kids too, I guess, you probably care about those also.

We aren't sure if you'll be coming down or not, all we know is what they report from the observatory, and it apparently isn't great stuff. I tried to scry, but I don't have a strong enough catalyst. I'd sacrifice anyone to pierce that veil, but the ingredient isn't something in my reach right now, so I can just hope.

Keep kicking butt up there. If anyone on that team of weirdos can, it's gotta be you. Come back soon? There's a fresh loaf waiting for you, like always.

Thanks for keeping it real. Ha ha.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-1667

AVAST!
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.

Background

The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.

With The Tokyo Adrift

Despite only sailing with the Adrift for nine nights, the brief appearance of infamous diabolist Baldwin Breadwinner featured in the journals of many of her crewmates during that period and continued to sporadically be referenced until the ship's disappearance in 1667.

The crew of the Adrift awoke one night to the sound of carnivals and revelry, and a ship emerged from out of the fog on their port, poised as if to board. A journal entry from Domino Bootleg, who had at the time been awake on watch, noted that although the fog-wreathed vessel appeared completely uninhabited, a cacophony of spirited voices and music filled the air to bursting. Just as Captain Strongbody drew in a breath to order the Adrift to withdraw to a safe distance to attack, the strange boat at once grew silent and a solitary figure appeared on the empty deck, calling out to the Adrift. Her voice was rough but her demeanor was anything but as she introduced herself with precise words that left no doubt of who she was. She was the diabolist Baldwin Breadwinner, and the Adrift would soon require her services if they wished to weather what was ahead. As she informed the Captain, there was no room left for argument in her tone, and the Adrift found themselves with a new crewmate.

Terrell Bradley claimed she looked familiar to someone he had met on a ship under a different flag many years ago, but said that if Breadwinner was her, she was much changed. Breadwinner appeared as if only half-alive, as the entirety of her left arm, shoulder, and the left side of her face was bare weathered bone that was akin to driftwood in its texture. Often her bones were wreathed in shadows that shifted and stretched out around her into articulated limbs almost resembling that of a scorpion, spider, crab, or, as the ship's quartermaster would swear it, countless faces. While onboard the Adrift, Breadwinner completed her share of work without ever being caught in the act of manual labor. Instead, she spent her time challenging her crewmates to games, though many suspected this was a ploy to start debates and conversations which she would end as soon as she found whatever it was she was looking for. As a whole, the crew found her discomforting. Captain Strongbody, who in many ways was seen by his crew as just as strange and severe as Breadwinner following his return from his 44-day absence, was an exception and the two often retreated below deck to plot.

As her ninth night on board the Adrift came to an end Breadwinner departed as suddenly as she had appeared. It wasn't until the next morning that the crew came to the realization that she had taken the the Knight, Triumphant, with her.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-57.916

Early Life

Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. She has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite her having had a legal name change,[1] all documents concerning her past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Breadwinner responded vaguely, saying

Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my "The Game of Life" boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal.

When pressed on her name before her legal change, Breadwinner was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment she says her name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.

Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning her deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but she wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't herself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," she states. She continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good,' so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.

Bread Winning Controversy

Baldwin Breadwinner is known for only ever eating meals that include bread in them. Whether this means common foods such as toast and sandwiches, or less common bread-based meals such as breadcrumb-covered meatballs and bruschetta, she sticks to this diet very strictly. As a result of this, she's had to clash against her own former team management, as she would often be forced to hold, or even eat, a taco for promotional material. Eventually, she got her wish, and ever since, she had usually been seen in these promotional materials with a lone Subway sandwich as everyone else enjoys their taco.

Some members of the team have attempted to get her to try a taco by encasing the taco materials within bread, or sprinkling breadcrumbs on the taco. Breadwinner's statement on the subject is that doing so sort of defeats the point of a taco. People eventually decided to stop questioning this.

More Bread

Within the Unlimited Los Angeli, wherein time and space are suggestion, not law, Baldwin Breadwinner was surprised and excited to find that all of her bats had been replaced by stale baguettes.

Feedback to the Fridays

On Day 82 of season 4, Fletcher Yamamoto baked a particularly transcendent loaf of bread during his pre-game ritual and had it on display at the Fridays' third base snack cart. Those by the cart report that they heard Breadwinner say between mouthfuls of bread, "I wish this loaf lasted forever." Our Lady of Perpetual Friday obliged.

Since joining the Fridays, Breadwinner has reported that from now on she will only be wearing loafers during games.

There are unconfirmed rumors that Alyssa Harrell and Breadwinner have been seen making bread together.[2][3]

Reflections

Baldwin has reported issues with demons appearing in reflective surfaces near her, having heard about her deal with Beelzeblase and wanting to “get in on that action.” The varieties of these demons vary significantly as do the methods of dealing with them. Lesser demonic entities can be dealt with either a small spray bottle of holy water she keeps on hand, or just harsh language. Others will only appear when Baldwin is alone in an attempt to catch her off guard, a strategy that Baldwin quickly dealt with by having other players around when she wants to fix her hair or put on make-up. After joining the Crabs many were happy for the opportunity to converse with her, but this duty has been taken up gleefully by Evelton McBlase II who uses the time to explain their latest scheme with magic markers on the mirror in question.

Not all of these guests are unwelcome however, as Baldwin has also received visitors that are just eager for gossip and conversation, something she is willing to entertain because some circle demons are great conversationalists. The strangest of all seems to be Since joining the Crabs for ascension, Baldwin has described a “ghost of a ghost” that seems to be appearing not only in reflections, but in her dreams as well. While she hasn’t engaged with it directly Baldwin described it as “annoyingly persistent” and complained that “she won’t just tell me what she wants”.

Trivia

  • Breadwinner is the loving mother of three children, and plays Blaseball to support them. She also serves her team as a motherly figure, particularly to the Friday’s own York Silk.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-57.917

Early Life

Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. She has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite her having had a legal name change,[4] all documents concerning her past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Breadwinner responded vaguely, saying

Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my "The Game of Life" boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal.

When pressed on her name before her legal change, Breadwinner was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment she says her name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.

Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning her deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but she wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't herself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," she states. She continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good,' so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.

Feedback to the Fridays

On Day 82 of season 4, Fletcher Yamamoto baked a particularly transcendent loaf of bread during his pre-game ritual and had it on display at the Fridays' third base snack cart. Those by the cart report that they heard Breadwinner say between mouthfuls of bread, "I wish this loaf lasted forever." Our Lady of Perpetual Friday obliged. Since joining the Fridays, Breadwinner has reported that from now on she will only be wearing loafers during games.

There are unconfirmed rumors that Alyssa Harrell and Breadwinner have been seen making bread together.

Ascending with The Crabs

With the sudden shift in the Crab’s roster caused by the People’s Champion blessing, the team dynamic around the captains shifted unexpectedly. In the conversations around who may succeed Kennedy Loser, Forrest Best, and Brock Forbes should they meet an untimely end - it was always Sutton Dreamy who was expected to step up. With her gone and the team still dealing with the onslaught in the Big Leagues it came to many people’s surprise, including her own, that Baldwin seemed to naturally fill that place.

Despite her initial aloof demeanor with the Crabs, Baldwin’s no-nonsense attitude quickly became part of the backbone of the team. Her unwillingness to let team members wallow in their defeats or get caught up in fears of the future was a driving force into keeping them together in a time of great uncertainty. In particular her relationship with Kennedy pushed Ken to start establishing her own boundaries and be mindful of how much she was giving away to the team when she was already exhausted.

Baldwin mused that after everything she did to shed old attachments with Beelzeblase she still found herself attached to this new team in a new era, although she found she couldn’t bring herself to begrudge that the first time she coerced Ken into a mandatory vacation day.

Their relationship isn't solely checking in on one another, though, as the two of them have taken on the mutual responsibility of minimizing the damage Evelton McBlase II might cause by herding him through his antics and cleaning up his messes behind his back.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-57.918

Early Life

Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. She has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite her having had a legal name change,[5] all documents concerning her past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Breadwinner responded vaguely, saying

Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my "The Game of Life" boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal.

When pressed on her name before her legal change, Breadwinner was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment she says her name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.

Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning her deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but she wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't herself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," she states. She continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good,' so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.

Feedback to the Fridays

On Day 82 of season 4, Fletcher Yamamoto baked a particularly transcendent loaf of bread during his pre-game ritual and had it on display at the Fridays' third base snack cart. Those by the cart report that they heard Breadwinner say between mouthfuls of bread, "I wish this loaf lasted forever." Our Lady of Perpetual Friday obliged. Since joining the Fridays, Breadwinner has reported that from now on she will only be wearing loafers during games.

There are unconfirmed rumors that Alyssa Harrell and Breadwinner have been seen making bread together.

Trade to the Crabs

When Baldwin was first traded to the Crabs as a part of the People’s Champion’s blessing, she had not interacted with the team extensively outside of games, and most of what she had heard was rumours of the team that killed their own god and swept through the league on multiple occasions. At the same time, coming from the Hawai'i Fridays she had grown used to her more laid back teammates, including Evelton McBlase II and Bevan Underbuck who had joined her in ascension. These two sides of the league coming together in circumstances as tense as the moments following Season 10 Day X lead to a turbulent first meeting which Baldwin was not quick to forgive or forget.

Despite her best efforts however, Baldwin did eventually come to warm up to the Crabs over the course of Season 11. After seeing how Kennedy Loser and Bevan were able to open up to one another, and how Evelton and Forrest Best took to one another, Baldwin did find some common ground with teammate Brock Forbes. With both of them recognizing each other as someone who they could trust to maintain their own boundaries and push back when needed they became a well known duo among the Crabs, commonly taking time after practice to heckle each other's performance against the other Big League teams. Their verbal jousts would escalate to levels that would seriously concern their teammates, getting really harsh and frankly really creative. There are no witnesses to report what may be happening up above, but in a letter supposedly mysteriously left at the window of Valentine Games' apartment, there is a passage referring to the two as

"...Finding each other refreshing. The two of them both have a lot of experience with swindlers and contracts, Brock was handling a lot of that stuff as captain since you left, and Baldwin...well, your teammates can verify all that. We knew the two of them dealt with all those walls and loopholes by going straight for the jugular, we were pretty scared that they could be best friends or worst enemies. We didn't expect them to be both? I guess when everyone around you feels so fragile, it's good to meet a like-minded person who can just...take it. I'm happy for them. It's important to find someone compatible like that, in a place like this. I miss y

Baldwin is reportedly the only Crab who openly criticized Brock pitching performance against the Shelled Ones’s Pods.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-8.1747

Like Pumice, Like Sourdough

Baldwin Breadwinner has never once made a mistake. Or, perhaps, if she were to hypothetically make one, she could simply make a deal to erase it from the past. There was the big contract, of course; Baldwin Breadwinner doesn't exist prior to then, but she kept her diabolical companion on retainer ever since.

It's hard to learn from a mistake when she forgets she ever made it. And it's hard to learn that forgetting might be a mistake all on its own.

There are moments where Baldwin Breadwinner pictures the Baldwin Breadwinner that others say she must be like, and has trouble suspending her disbelief. The gaps where things once were could be overwhelming, if she could remember that there are gaps. To her teammates, she's supposedly a competent mom and a level-headed leaderly type. Who is she a mom to, some children somewhere, but are there actually any? Did she concoct some illusory magic to glamour away the pits in her personhood?

It doesn't bother her much, she may even feel a tinge of pride in it, to sell the fantasy. If she can hold it together in front of others and keep that normal, composed image, there's nothing to be concerned with.

When she looks into the mirror, someone else is often wearing her reflection. Consequence of networking with that particular crowd. It happens so often that she has stopped recognizing her face as her own anymore. Nothing around her feels hers anymore, she can't remember where her furniture was from, her walls are bare of posters or art, and photographs of her tend to bleach out at alarming rates. There's not much to account for, so holding it together should be easy. She just has to hold it together.

She forgot how much she leaned on them, the way they let her be, however that turned out. She was the only one who was holding any doubt. She stopped holding it together soon after the trade.

Trade to the Crabs

In the period between the Season 10 Election and the Ascension, Breadwinner's companion was nowhere to be found. It cannot be confirmed whether it is barred from going Up and sought new entertainment when it realized its time with Baldwin was ending, or perhaps it could reach her up there, and was off making preparations for far greater plans afoot. However, what is known, is that in that time, the illusions were beginning to come undone, just a little.

Baldwin certainly wasn't remembering things she lost, the deals they made were binding. It seemed however that her companion had been taking a far more active role in smoothing over the incongruencies that came with so many inconsequential deals, and distorting how bad things were getting for her. In this strange place, she found herself a stranger too, more than ever before.

When her companion returns, they are going to have a long conversation.

There was freedom in the unfamiliar company of the now three-time champions, though. It wasn't that she was averse to her two peers who traveled with her from the Fridays, but her teammates have for years formed preconceptions around who she was supposed to be. She took the opportunity to rediscover herself through the clear eyes of the Crabs, and found them to be a refreshing grounding element who were happy to bounce ideas with her. She learned that she really was a pretty level-headed leaderly type after all, and maybe a little bit of a mom. Her friends were never that far off, after all.

And she learned a lot from the Crabs, too. The team as a whole gave Baldwin an insight into perseverance through radical change in a way that she hadn't gotten to experience before. It wasn't that they were great role models all around; they painted for her a picture of both the most successful and toxic responses and coping mechanisms they held onto. But they faced the uncertain and the unstable with every shred of their will, and they did it the "regular" way. No contracts, looparounds, and but a dash of accelerated physiological adaptation.

Past comforts let Baldwin tend to herself like a hedge, pruning herself into shape at the pace of growing grass, and there is no doubt that she grew a beautiful person from there. But Baldwin knew only the shear, she erased erased erased everything she hated from herself all this time, but only at the Ascension had she found a place to learn how to build a Baldwin that she could love.

Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-9.231

In Literature

Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper had the following to say about Baldwin:

She was an enigma, all shrouded in hope,
That unwitting batter we traded for dreams,
We could only observe her through our telescope,
As the Crabs all kept losing to shadowy teams.

Then all the Crab players did crash down to earth,
And settled back in on the Chesapeake coast,
We got to know Baldwin, and praised her worth,
Til a flying stray peanut did near make her toast.

A deadly nut allergy, how could she risk it?
She swallowed a shell as she ran to third base,
And from that point, sadly, she just took the biscuit,
Her fielding, sprinting, and swinging lacked grace.

But she rolled with the punches, and just wouldn’t quit,
Never deigning to loaf, knew she needed the prize,
She never felt stale, though she just couldn’t hit,
And then, like a flower, she started to rise.

As the playoffs got hotter, Baldwin did take shape,
She dove for every bag, getting no outs,
And stretched out her glove, as if thin as a crepe,
To snatch out the slicing line drives in a rout.

She played better and better through every inning,
And when all games were done, and everything said,
She held high our trophy, gloriously grinning,
For none could deny that she won us our bread.


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