Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-57.918

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Baldwin Breadwinner at their Rumor Registry.

Early Life

Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. She has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite her having had a legal name change,[1] all documents concerning her past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Breadwinner responded vaguely, saying

Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my "The Game of Life" boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal.

When pressed on her name before her legal change, Breadwinner was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment she says her name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.

Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning her deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but she wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't herself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," she states. She continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good,' so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.

Feedback to the Fridays

On Day 82 of season 4, Fletcher Yamamoto baked a particularly transcendent loaf of bread during his pre-game ritual and had it on display at the Fridays' third base snack cart. Those by the cart report that they heard Breadwinner say between mouthfuls of bread, "I wish this loaf lasted forever." Our Lady of Perpetual Friday obliged. Since joining the Fridays, Breadwinner has reported that from now on she will only be wearing loafers during games.

There are unconfirmed rumors that Alyssa Harrell and Breadwinner have been seen making bread together.

Trade to the Crabs

When Baldwin was first traded to the Crabs as a part of the People’s Champion’s blessing, she had not interacted with the team extensively outside of games, and most of what she had heard was rumours of the team that killed their own god and swept through the league on multiple occasions. At the same time, coming from the Hawai'i Fridays she had grown used to her more laid back teammates, including Evelton McBlase II and Bevan Underbuck who had joined her in ascension. These two sides of the league coming together in circumstances as tense as the moments following Season 10 Day X lead to a turbulent first meeting which Baldwin was not quick to forgive or forget.

Despite her best efforts however, Baldwin did eventually come to warm up to the Crabs over the course of Season 11. After seeing how Kennedy Loser and Bevan were able to open up to one another, and how Evelton and Forrest Best took to one another, Baldwin did find some common ground with teammate Brock Forbes. With both of them recognizing each other as someone who they could trust to maintain their own boundaries and push back when needed they became a well known duo among the Crabs, commonly taking time after practice to heckle each other's performance against the other Big League teams. Their verbal jousts would escalate to levels that would seriously concern their teammates, getting really harsh and frankly really creative. There are no witnesses to report what may be happening up above, but in a letter supposedly mysteriously left at the window of Valentine Games' apartment, there is a passage referring to the two as

"...Finding each other refreshing. The two of them both have a lot of experience with swindlers and contracts, Brock was handling a lot of that stuff as captain since you left, and Baldwin...well, your teammates can verify all that. We knew the two of them dealt with all those walls and loopholes by going straight for the jugular, we were pretty scared that they could be best friends or worst enemies. We didn't expect them to be both? I guess when everyone around you feels so fragile, it's good to meet a like-minded person who can just...take it. I'm happy for them. It's important to find someone compatible like that, in a place like this. I miss y

Baldwin is reportedly the only Crab who openly criticized Brock pitching performance against the Shelled Ones’s Pods.

  1. This does not refer to The Wyatt Masoning.