Abner Pothos/IF-66.409

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Abner Pothos at their Rumor Registry.

KGAR Report

Excerpt from the postgame recap broadcast by Garages radio station KGAR, hosted by Demilade Dasaolu and Kevin Park. The interview aired after the game on Day 19, Season 24.

PARK: Hi, I'm Kevin Park with KGAR. Fans in Seattle and across the league have speculated as to the relationship between Abner Pothos and Parker MacMillan the First, who arrived in Seattle late yesterday. As a member of the Pre-Historic Antarctic Fireballs, it was Pothos's team that hexed MacMillan with the Firewalker modification. And, of course, it was that same modification that led to the Hawai'i Fridays' incineration just days ago — right, Demilade?

DASAOLU: That's right, Kevin. The city's decision to remain open to MacMillan's Super Roamin' raised some eyebrows, especially in the wake of two team incinerations in as many weeks. But the team affirmed their commitment to staying open after MacMillan's arrival last night. So far, Pothos hasn't been willing to comment on the matter — one of our junior reporters visited the Seattle Shadows Co-op to request an interview with Pothos. It reportedly muttered something about "having union work to do," tied our correspondent's shoelaces together telekinetically, and shuffled away while they were distracted. That's blaseball players for you! Kevin, you were down in the Big Garage today; were you able to get a hold of Parker?

PARK: Nope! A few reporters were invited into the dugout at the end of the game, but he declined to answer our questions. The only quote we got was, "I, uh, I gotta, uh, you know, theremin practice." The Seattle Theremin Appreciation Club will be happy to hear some new sounds in the band, but I'm sorry to say there's no gossip to be had about Pothos and MacMillan yet.

DASAOLU: Further requests for comment were rebuffed by the Garages' recent recruit Marion Shriffle. She explained that the team was unlikely to hold press conferences until Mike Townsend and Oliver Mueller were safely free of Observation. Indeed, today's game has left Seattle fans worried, with two team mainstays hit by Niq Nyong'o's Debt. Sources on the ground say…

[end of excerpt]