Abner Pothos/IF-25.280

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Abner Pothos at their Rumor Registry.

Lil' Roadies Interview

Excerpt from the Lil' Roadies Lil' Magazine front-page interview "Garages Gain Grumpy Geezer," written by Lil' Roadie Lee Rosenthal, age 6. The article ran on Gods' Day, Season 24.

LEE ROSENTHAL: Hi!
ABNER POTHOS: [expletive]! [expletive], you just about scared the daylights out of me…
LR: It's okay. I won't tell Ollie you said a cuss even though I'm not supposed to know cusses. My first question is about how come you were in the big game when you didn't used to play?
AP: Who are you? Is this an interview?
LR: [silence]
AP: I — it's because I didn't play in this league.
LR: Oh. How come?
AP: I'm old.
LR: Like my grampas?
AP: Older.
LR: Cool. Are you a gramparent too? For the pitcher lady from Becken— Becka— Beckeritch?
AP: Mmh.
LR: I'm gonna write down that you said yes because I think you said yes.
AP: What — hold on. Oy, kids. [sighs] We're related. Distantly, I think. We met, but, well, I was never that involved with family before all this. Antarctica, and all. I got her a card with some money in it for her birthday. I think that's all she and I have the room for right now.
LR: I wanna get a card with some money for my birthday. I always just get itchy sweaters even though they're itchy.
AP: … Hmm. Do you want some keys?
LR: Like car keys?
AP: Just keys on a ring. Here, look — I'm psychic, so—
LR: Sidekick?
AP: Hah! Not me. Psychic — it means I can make things fly with my brain. Even myself. Picked it up back in Antarctica, it… ah. Well, never mind that. I take the keys off the ring and put them back on; here, you try. It's relaxing. Watch your fingers there.
LR: I can't make them fly though.
AP: It's still relaxing to do it with your hands.
LR: Cool.
AP: … well, if that's it, then—
LR: Oh! Oh, yeah, I'm s'posed to ask one more question. How come you joined the Garages?
AP: Hah. I wish I knew. I never heard of this team, you know. The Millennials, the Jazz Hands, I know them. We were in the old league together. The Moist Talkers, well, I don't know when they went to Canada, but I was around when they appeared. I heard about the Firefighters after we — ah, well, my point being that I never heard of any "Garages" until I ended up here with Jimmy and that cactus after the game.
LR: Huh. I heard of the Garages since before I was three because we go to the games. I like Tot Clark because he's cool and one time he hit a ball and I got it.
AP: … alright then.
LR: Okay bye!

[end of excerpt]