Wild Low Clubhouse
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
The Wild Low Clubhouse (WLC) is a pocket dimension connected to the home locations of the six known Wild Low division blaseball teams: The Boston Flowers, the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Houston Spies, the Miami Dale, the Ohio Worms, and the Unlimited Tacos.
Description
The Clubhouse is a modern and spacious function center in location, situated in a pocket dimension surrounded by a featureless void. Entry and exit are conducted exclusively through the front doors of the Clubhouse, though no Spies fan or player has been observed using the front door in this way. When the door is opened to exit the Clubhouse, it will open directly onto the door-opener's last known location on the Immaterial Plane. Use of the resulting portal is not restricted to the door-opener, allowing for convenient travel between Boston, Miami and the Los Angeleses[1].
The safety of all clubhouse members is maintained by very good-looking lifeguards, who seem to always know just the right amount of intervention to keep things fun but safe.
Food and drink facilities include:
- Make-your-own pressed sandwich bar
- Smoothie bar (unrelated to Hellmouth Smoothies) with fresh fruit provided from the Boston Gardens
- A 7-Heleven just a block away, regardless of ingress location, if you have to nip out of the Clubhouse to grab something
- A large community kitchen
- Tacos, obviously
A wide range of activities not related to blaseball also take place in the clubhouse. At any given time, each team will have organised or be participating in some kind of game, the rules of which may or may not overlap with other ongoing antics in the Clubhouse. An inter-team game of Tag which is only in effect within the Clubhouse is the longest-running such activity; participants in the game will occasionally be seen entering the Clubhouse only to bolt back to the Immaterial Plane to avoid a fellow participant.
History
The Clubhouse was first discovered in the Party Time following Season β5, by the Sunbeams having a picnic in the Solarium. Horrible goose Sutton Bishop stole the picnic basket and fled through the Bad Gateway on first base, to the confusion of many who had assumed the Bad Gateway was purely an exit.
The pocket dimension has been in use circa Season β6 as a community hub for fans of the Wild Low division teams, for viewing parties and organisation of inter-team initiatives. At some point, an unknown individual inscribed above the main doorway "badgateway:reroute: R I V E I 5 9 1", a piece of minor vandalism that all appear to agree shall remain as long as the Clubhouse stands.
The Grand Siesta Rivalliance Thank You Party and Completely Coincidental Concurrent Footwear Exodus
Following the Hellmouth Sunbeams' winning of the championship title in Season β11, the Sunbeams decided to throw a "Gratitude Bash" for the rest of Wild Low, whose collective coordination had netted the division many a shared blessing which propelled the Sunbeams to their position as league champions. Charleston Shoe Thieves player Esme Ramsey invited herself to the party when Sandoval Crossing was explaining the conceit of the event to her via text message (citing Tag-Team Fourth Strike, the Season 10 blessing won by the Shoe Thieves and shared with the Sunbeams); Crossing officially invited the rest of the Shoe Thieves roster shortly after.
An excellent evening was said to be had by all at this event, with the swimming pool full of inflatables being a particular hit with Shoe Thieves pitcher Gunther O'Brian who refused to leave when the party was wrapping up. The new rivalliance was further cemented with the Shoe Thieves going on to do further consultancy work for the Sunbeams, to protect Sun (real) from any future heisting events by the Seattle Garages. Igneus Delacruz and Miguel James also inducted themselves into The Smokehouse Gang, Hotbox Sato and Snyder Briggs' sitcom-watching club.
Also, at some point (possibly paracausally), custom-made confetti in the shape of the Dale's boat emoji was unleashed in the Clubhouse. Efforts to clean it up are ongoing and probably futile, with pieces still turning up in forgotten coat pockets and under cushions.
Access
Fans have found the ability to access the Clubhouse through the following locations:
- First base in the Solarium, through the Bad Gateway
- Margaritoville in Boston, Margarito Nava's Jimmy Buffett-themed cantina
- Underneath the Miami Marine Stadium in Key Biscayne, FL (requires ability to hold breath underwater for at least 5 seconds)
- Multiple splorts pubs in the Los Angeleses
The Spies have access to the Clubhouse, and report a verified ingress point, but claim "it's undocumented" and "we've brought snacks, so we're not sure why this line of questioning needs to continue."
Dress code
- Nah.
- A lot of Dale members wear sunglasses inside, however.
- After the events of the Grand Siesta Thank You Party, bare feet became a very popular style amongst Clubhouse patrons. In fact, those who arrived wearing shoes would often be seen leaving without them, enamored as they were by the trend on show amongst fellow Clubhouse-goers.
- ↑ Hellmouth is a notable exception; non-residents feel a very strong revulsion that drives them from the door when a Hellmouthian opens it. Those who do pass through an exit door to Hellmouth will instead find themselves on a featureless desert road, which after several minutes of walking along with lead them back to the Clubhouse.
