Wesley Poole/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Wesley Poole has 2 Rumors written about so far.
Wesley Poole/IF-303.2
History
Wesley Poole was allegedly born to Ernest and Gabardine Poole in an undisclosed location on an undisclosed date before moving to Chicago, where he was from, to take a job at Milky Tech Preparatory Academy as well as work as a volunteer firefighter. He was Called shortly thereafter by Mx. Chicago to be the poolboy for Lake Michigan, protecting the Great Lakes from various invasive species including the colossal Asian carp (Cyprinus carpio colossus), sea vampire (Petromyzon sanguinoid), and zlebra mussel (Eqluus grevyi).
Poole is a close friend to all native lake fauna and is often found caring for them on his fireboat. It is outfitted with a harpoon gun and Royal Crown Malort cannon, as per Chicago Firefighting Code 303. When on land, Poole’s amphibious nature necessitates a water source such as his trademark pitching pool in order to remain fit to play.
Like all of us, he is from Chicago. His jersey number is 309.
Physiology
Poole is outfitted with several adaptations in order to best protect Lake Michigan from a wide range of invasive species, including:
- Multiple rows of large, sharp teeth
- Gills
- Webbed fingers
- Low-light vision
- Bioluminescent organs, including skin markings, eyes, and possibly blood
- Indeterminate quantity of fins
- Aura of vague, predatory menace
He has declined any requests from SIBR for further study.
Poole has indicated that his sunglasses serve as an assistive aid for his sensitive vision, stating that without them he’d be “totally up Buffalo Creek without a paddle, man.”
Personal Life
Poole is a well-established member of the Chicago Firefighters and is noted for his cheerful and welcoming attitude towards fans. Paparazzi tend to congregate along Chicago beaches during the offseason, hoping to catch Poole and frequent companions Lou Roseheart and Swamuel Mora during their days off. However, Poole is also notably aggressive towards anyone or anything he perceives as a threat to himself, his teammates, or the delicate ecosystem of Lake Michigan. Scattered reports from one incident of suspected violence on the lakeshore noted large, ragged bite marks in several Asian carp specimens, but no human or humanoid victims were ever found.
Trivia
- When Poole manages to pull off a fantastic play, fans can be heard chanting "The Wes Wind Blows!" from the stands.
- Poole is an amateur lepidopterist of little skill and ill repute, using his pool net to catch butterflies and moths.
- Wesley Poole has never been observed wearing a shirt.
- The only tanlines present on Poole's body are under his sunglasses, which he never removes.
- Over the Grand Siesta, Poole’s infrequent and unpredictable posts to his social media about local national parks and open space preserves drove some Firefighters Fans to create the Camp Betting Poole, speculating on what cabin or campground he would inexplicably photograph and post next.
Wesley Poole/IF-309.1
History
Wesley Poole was allegedly born to Ernest and Gabardine Poole in an undisclosed location on an undisclosed date before moving to Chicago, where he was from, to take a job at Milky Tech Preparatory Academy as well as work as a volunteer firefighter. He was the campus poolboy at the academy until it was consumed by flames in the Great Chicago Blaseball Fire. Poole hid within the Milky Tech pool for the duration of the fire, until his fellow firefighters defeated the blaze.
Poole now acts as the "poolboy" for Lake Michigan, which he often refers to as "Lake Chicago". It is at this time unclear what being the poolboy of a great lake actually entails.
Ever since being reverbed to the pitching position in Season 5, Wesley stands in a kiddie pool filled with Royal Crown Malort on the mound.
Like all of us, he is from Chicago. His jersey number is 309.
Trivia
- When Poole manages to pull off a fantastic play, fans can be heard chanting "The Wes Wind Blows!" from the stands.
- Poole is an amateur lepidopterist of little skill and ill repute, using his pool net to catch butterflies and moths.
- Wesley Poole has never been observed wearing a shirt.
- Despite often being observed to have fish like qualities—including fin-like ears, sharp teeth, and gills—Poole insists that he "just looks like that."
- The only tanlines present on Poole's body are under his sunglasses, which he never removes.
Create New Rumor
To create a new Rumor for Wesley Poole, use the Page Creation tool to the right. The IF number needs to be a randomly generated 4 or 5 digit number with a period placed somewhere within, and it cannot match any numbers currently used on this page. We've generated one for you to use, but feel free to use a different number. This will create a subpage under Wesley Poole for inclusion in the main page. Visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill/Guide to read more about how to create a new Rumor.
