Wanda Schenn
Wanda Schenn is a lineup player for the LA Unlimited Tacos, and has been with the team since the Season 22 elections. Schenn has previously played for the Ohio Worms and Chicago Firefighters.
Official League Records
Schenn joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Ohio Worms during the Descension.
Schenn was traded to the Chicago Firefighters in exchange for NaN during the Season 13 elections via the Worms' Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.
During the Season 19 Earlsiesta Schenn gained the Undertaker modification as part of the seasonal reading.
On Season 20, Day 23, Schenn became a pitcher due to Reverb.
Schenn was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Mcdowell Mason during the Season 22 elections via the Firefighters' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process. Schenn then gained the Subtractor modification as a result of the Subtractor Avoidance blessing.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Wanda Schenn Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-24.513 and start reading...
This IMF signal has been corrupted. This page may be difficult to read on light mode, uses extensive caps lock, and may cause problems for screen readers.
Appearance
Wanda Schenn is an astronaut who uses she/her pronouns. She often sheds her bulky space suit to play blaseball, electing instead to wear a simple flight suit, but has never been seen without her helmet. Those who have attempted to discern any identifying facial features by looking within the helmet have only reported seeing "an endless corn field that stretches to a horizon that doesn't exist," with some haunted by hallucinations of a space-like void for days following the encounter.
Before
REDACTED Schenn grew up in a one-story rambler in South Lebanon, Ohio. By her REDACTED year in high school she had made the cut for the varsity REDACTED team at S REDACTED High School. By all accounts, Schenn—the child of German immigrants—was a driven, talented young student-athlete with a natural understanding of physics and a stubborn streak a mile wide.
In her REDACTED year of high school, she met Augusta Chadwell, who she would later identify as her best friend and confidante. The two were both interested in space exploration, and together brainstormed something they called the Wanderer module: a simple space shuttle, meant to be manned by a small crew of perhaps two.
The two attended REDACTED University together; Schenn achieved her Bachelor's in Aerospace Engineering and went on to earn a Master's in Engineering.
Because of Despite Schenn's demonstrated proficiency in engineering, she was REDACTED the Ohio Worms REDACTED. Schenn REDACTED until the Worms' Descension.
HISTORY IS WRIT BY THOSE EXERCISING DOMINION
During
Schenn played for the Ohio Worms following their return to the ILB as a pitcher. Reportedly, she enjoyed but did not particularly look forward to the games she would pitch, finding more joy in participating in blaseball with her friend Chadwell than in the splort itself.
An investigation by REDACTED suggests Schenn and Chadwell continued their work on the Wanderer, conducting regular tests, building prototypes, and otherwise adjusting their plans in their shared laboratory space, although it appears they were not prepared for any actual voyage.
On Day 89 of Season β13, Chadwell was incinerated by a rogue umpire in the Wormhole. A fan in attendance, who only identified themself as "REDACTED," shared an account of the event with a local news outlet.
"I knew it would happen the moment I stepped into the Wormhole. It was always going to be that way. They had plans, you know, and set their eyes beyond the horizon. Augusta was so beautiful. I didn't enjoy it, when they died standing out there in the field. She didn't do anything except dare to look where she shouldn't have. In the end it was a lesson, even if it was crude. Ash is impermanent and useless, and death means nothing in this game, but it was the only way they would listen. They should have known that someone would always stay."
after all, when you're from ohio, you never truly leave.
After the incineration of her best friend, Schenn was devastated and inconsolable. Following the game, she was overheard by fans as she insisted that she would "get out of Ohio, whatever it takes."
Launch of the Wanderer Module
Instead of attending any post-season celebrations with the rest of the Worms, Schenn became noticeably withdrawn and moody, and retreated to her laboratory. After REDACTED, she had the first and only fully-functioning Wanderer module prototype created: it was scaled down slightly from the original plans, built to accommodate one pilot instead of the anticipated two.
While the laboratory burned to the ground shortly before the Wanderer module was scheduled to launch, an investigation led by REDACTED recovered a single cassette recording, presumably made by Schenn as she left tried to leave. The transcript of the partial recording is as follows.
"I'd feel bad about it. I would. Except... oh, I don't know. Augusta isn't — she can't tell me — I want to go. I do. There's this, this little voice in the back of my head that says stay, wanderer, stay, and I keep wondering whether I should stay after all. Who's going to look after my parents, translate complex English into German? Who's going to look after Augusta's dog? But then, but then I remember, I've been in the REDACTED for, for who knows how long, and I haven't talked to my parents since we descended. Augusta doesn't have a dog. I am playing blaseball in, in Ohio of all places. I want
to stay. there's nothing for me out there. i don't know where i would go or who i would be— I want to leave. I have to."
The Wanderer module launched on REDACTED from REDACTED, Ohio and landed in Lake Michigan, Chicago REDACTED days later.
Wanderer Module Ground-to-Space Transcript
Following the recovery of the Wanderer module's black box, an attempt at recording the transcript was made. Parts of the transcript remain unintelligible or missing. Flermilab, based in Chicago, has published sections of the transcript for members of the community to view and access for free on their website; those sections are replicated here.
- CONTROL: Final check.
- WANDERER: Engines running, seatbelt buckled, all systems are go.
- CONTROL: Winds fair, skies clear. Safe journeys, Wanderer, and may you find your way home.
- WANDERER: Thank you, Control. Countdown?
- CONTROL: 10...
- CONTROL: 9...
- CONTROL: 8...
- CONTROL: 7...
- CONTROL: 6...
- OHIO: oh, wanderer. i thought you'd gotten over this petty urge to run away. well. perhaps i shall join you.
- OHIO: how do you feel, wanderer? do you feel vindicated?
- WANDERER: It's very quiet up here. It's lonelier, too. I always thought Augusta would be here.
- OHIO: foolish child. you know as well as i that augusta could not make this journey with you. either she would die or the calculations need to get your little tin can rotating in the atmosphere would not work, no matter how many times you checked.
- WANDERER: It's pretty, though. You can see everything. A small blue dot; the stars.
- WANDERER: I thought...
- WANDERER: Bird's eye view, right? You climb and climb and climb so you can see the world from above. Matters of perspective.
- OHIO: is something the matter?
- WANDERER: ...This isn't what I expected.
- WANDERER: I... I don't see an end. It's just... more.
- OHIO: tell me in the tongues you know. tell me as best you can, wanderer, is this satisfaction? is this what you wanted? a vantage point, to see just how far you cannot go?
- WANDERER: I don't have a word for it. The only place I belonged was playing blaseball with my best friend. I have no family, not one I would recognize; no team, for all their well-wishes, who can replace Augusta. I thought there would be a void out here that matched the void in me but there is stars and a small world and Ohio and it just won't leave me alone.
- OHIO: i think the word you're looking for is 'homesick,' wanderer.
- WANDERER: I'm never going to see Augusta again, am I?
- WANDERER: (quiet, muffled sobbing)
- CHICAGO: WANDERER MODULE YOU ARE ENTERING CHICAGO AIRSPACE
- OHIO: no. NO
- CHICAGO: ALSO, IF WE MAY SUGGEST A DESCRIPTIVE WORD, WANDERER MODULE
- WANDERER: I — I suppose.
- CHICAGO: ABGESCHIEDEN
- WANDERER: German?
- CHICAGO: YES. MEANING "SOLITARY." MEANING "ALONE."
- WANDERER: No... no, that's not quite it. Erm — Mutterseelenallein?
- CHICAGO: AH. WE DID NOT REMEMBER THAT WORD.
- CHICAGO: THAT IS VERY LONELY INDEED.
- CHICAGO: WE DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOU ARE FROM, WANDERER MODULE, BUT YOU HAVE TAUGHT US SOMETHING, AND YOU ARE WELCOME WITHIN OUR BORDERS IF YOU LIKE.
- OHIO: you don't get to take her from me. you don't. you don't.
- WANDERER: ...Chicago. Sounds like a nice enough place.
- CHICAGO: YES, QUITE
- CHICAGO: INCIDENTALLY WE HAVE HAD A JOB OPENING RECENTLY SHOULD YOU WISH TO FILL IT
- WANDERER: Not space travel?
- CHICAGO: NOT YET
- WANDERER: I'll take it.
- OHIO: what are you doing. stop this at once.
- CHICAGO: IN THAT CASE, WANDERER MODULE, WELCOME TO CHICAGO WHERE YOU ARE FROM
But there are those who welcome the wanderer, and those who watch her leave.
After
|
Chicago WELCOME TO CHICAGO, CHILD OF THE STARS.
YOU ARE NOT NEW TO US. YOU ARE HERE; YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HERE. WE KNOW YOU, AND WE KNOW YOUR HEART; IT IS GOOD. DO YOU HEAR US, CALLING FOR YOU? THE SIREN ON THE HORIZON, THE RED LURE? YOU ARE FREE TO GO, WANDERER; YOU ARE FREE TO TURN AWAY. BUT IF YOU CHOOSE TO STAY, THERE IS A PLACE FOR YOU. YOU EXIST, WANDERER; YOU EXIST. YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN: WANDERER THE HOMESICK, THE LONELY, THE BOLD, THE BRAVE, THE BEAUTIFUL. WE CANNOT PROMISE YOU THAT WHICH YOU MISS. BUT WE CAN PROMISE A PLACE WHERE THE EARTH IS HONEST AND KIND, AND A PLACE FOR YOU TO MAKE YOUR OWN. A PLACE WHERE, SHOULD YOU ASK, SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS ANSWER. WELCOME HOME, WANDERER. |
Ohio do you regret it, wanderer? do you miss me?
i know you, wanderer. i know the way your stomach lurched when you climbed into that vast expanse. i know the way your heart called for me. i know your weakness, wanderer, and that weakness is the soft soil is the soft dirt is the quietude of the things underneath, the certitude of that which remains silently buried. i would have consumed you, decomposed your soft flesh into something useful, something to build on. it would have been a kinder fate. you are lost to me. |
Arrival
The Wanderer module crashed into Lake Michigan, where it was recovered by Wesley Poole. Schenn was recovered from the module and brought to the Fire House. Since her arrival in Chicago she has refused to speak, electing instead to use a form of non-verbal communication involving a combination of Morse code and Socks Maybe. However, some say she will occasionally hum along to the sound of the theremin.
According to Schenn herself, she recalls little from her time in space, and refuses to speak about it at length, mentioning only that it was "very, very lonely." She either does not remember or refuses to acknowledge any previous names she may have had. Instead she goes by Wanda, short for Wanderer.
Like all of us, she is from Chicago. Her jersey number is 513.
Trivia
- Schenn's maiden and only voyage lasted REDACTED.
- ... --- -- . - .. -- . ... --..-- / ... .... . / ... - .. .-.. .-.. / .-- .- -. - ... / - --- / --. --- / .... --- -- . --..-- / -... .- -.-. -.- / - --- / - .... . / -.. .- .-. -.- / .- -. -.. / ... --- ..-. - / .--. .-.. .- -.-. . ... / -.. . . .--. / .. -. / - .... . / . .- .-. - .... --..-- / -... ..- - / - .... --- ... . / -.- .. -. -.. ... / --- ..-. / - .... .. -. --. ... / .- .-. . / .... .- .-. -.. / - --- / .- -.. -- .. - / --- ..- - / .-.. --- ..- -.. .-.-.-
- Her pre-game ritual is "Warding off demons." The
identityidentities of these demons remain unclear. - She is often spotted occupying the garden that once belonged to Atlas Guerra, and although she is never seen working within, the small produce garden is productive and healthy once more.
This article draws inspiration from the Apollo 11 Technical Air-to-Ground Transcript, provided by NASA.
Fan Works
Schenn with Gita Sparrow
by @_waalkr
Planet Wanda
by @_waalkr
“I didn't do it”
by @_waalkr
Wanderer
by Aquelon
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Shadows | ||
| Buried | Wyatt Owens · Wyatt Pothos · Reggie Canberra · Caleb Alvarado | |
| Former |
|
|
| Stats | Season | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 |
| Events | The Grand Unslam · The Wyatt Masoning · Party Time Speedrun · Snackrifice | |
| Ballpark | Al Pastor Memorial Park | |
| Community Lore | ||
| Staff | Al Pastor · Lalengua · Pepito the Coyote | |
| Places | Los Angeli | |
| History | Unlimited Tacos' History · Los Angeli Research Division | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| 72° and Infinite | ||
