Uncle Plasma XV
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Uncle Plasma XV is a pitcher in the Vault, and has been there since the end of Season β22. Plasma XV has played for the Boston Flowers.
Official League Records
Plasma XV joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Boston Flowers during the Season β22 Latesiesta via the Gift Shop. At the end of the Season, Plasma XV faded to Dust and returned to the Vault.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History with the Breath Mints
On Season β15, Day 52, during a game of the New York Millennials against the Kansas City Breath Mints, Uncle Plasma entered the Crime Scene at The Meadow to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Brisket Friendo from the Breath Mints’ Shadows. As a prerequisite to the investigation, Breath Mints General Manager Max Betmint insisted that Plasma sign a temporary team transfer contract, as well as a non-disclosure agreement, confidentiality agreement, end-of-life plan, performance contract, digital image license, employee privacy policy, end user license agreement, letter of recommendation, equipment rental agreement, personal financial statement, hold-harmless indemnity agreement, survivorship deed, vehicle leasing agreement, website terms and conditions, and liability waiver. During the Season β15 elections, it was revealed that due to a hidden clause in the temporary team transfer contract, the contract was actually permanent, signing Uncle Plasma to Kansas City's pitching rotation for the foreseeable future.
After a few seasons with the Mints, Plasma began mentoring batter Kina Larsen as a junior detective, taking hir under his wing. A quick and eager learner, Larsen soon found far more investigative success than Plasma, having sought out and returned home numerous Elsewhere players, while Plasma has found exactly zero clues over many seasons with the Mints. When asked about Larsen’s talent in comparison to his own, Plasma has only glowed with pride, and is said to always keep an almond joy in the pocket of his trenchcoat for the young gumshoe. In his other pocket, he keeps a delicious fresh orange for himself.
Though a dedicated detective and pitcher, Plasma enjoys frequent vacations, often visiting Schlitterbahn Waterpark Kansas City after making use of The Meadow’s Fax Machine. Plasma does not seem bothered by the fact that the park has been closed for several years.
Plasma, like all Breath Mints, has failed the bar exam.
Excerpts from Plasma’s Notes
- Uncle Plasma kept many notes scattered across journals, loose papers, and post-it notes pinned to corkboard. The following was found scribbled among Plasma’s notes. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-5.697 out of its Rumor Registry...
Do you know what happens when you slice a glolf ball in half? Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way.[1]
Chants
- Uncle Mode On
- Nephew Mode (when performing poorly)
- All according to Plansma!
- Get Unc’d on!
- get chapel killed
- UNKIE NASTY (following Season β19 infusion)
- Dunkle Plasma / Uncle Faxma (when getting Faxed)
- ↑ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
