Uncle Plasma XII
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Uncle Plasma XII was a player in Beta Blaseball. They previously played for the Canada Moist Talkers, and were with the team from the Season 22 Latesiesta until fading to Dust during the Season β23 elections.
Official League Records
Plasma XII joined the ILB as a pitcher for the Canada Moist Talkers during the Season β22 Latesiesta via the Gift Shop.
On Season β22, Day 95, Plasma XII retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Beasley Gloom via Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.
On Season β23, Day 30, Plasma XII joined the Moist Talkers' pitching rotation in exchange for Tiana Wheeler as a result of Gleek Arena's Fax Machine. During the Season β23 elections, Plasma XII Evolved to Base 1 as a result of the Moist Talkers' third championship victory before fading to Dust.
Escape from Blaseball
Being unaffiliated with any Team at the conclusion of Beta, Plasma XII avoided conversion into post-Beta Blaseball. As a result, this player no longer exists.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
History with the Breath Mints
On Season β15, Day 52, during a game of the New York Millennials against the Kansas City Breath Mints, Uncle Plasma entered the Crime Scene at The Meadow to investigate the mysterious disappearance of Brisket Friendo from the Breath Mints’ Shadows. As a prerequisite to the investigation, Breath Mints General Manager Max Betmint insisted that Plasma sign a temporary team transfer contract, as well as a non-disclosure agreement, confidentiality agreement, end-of-life plan, performance contract, digital image license, employee privacy policy, end user license agreement, letter of recommendation, equipment rental agreement, personal financial statement, hold-harmless indemnity agreement, survivorship deed, vehicle leasing agreement, website terms and conditions, and liability waiver. During the Season β15 elections, it was revealed that due to a hidden clause in the temporary team transfer contract, the contract was actually permanent, signing Uncle Plasma to Kansas City's pitching rotation for the foreseeable future.
After a few seasons with the Mints, Plasma began mentoring batter Kina Larsen as a junior detective, taking hir under his wing. A quick and eager learner, Larsen soon found far more investigative success than Plasma, having sought out and returned home numerous Elsewhere players, while Plasma has found exactly zero clues over many seasons with the Mints. When asked about Larsen’s talent in comparison to his own, Plasma has only glowed with pride, and is said to always keep an almond joy in the pocket of his trenchcoat for the young gumshoe. In his other pocket, he keeps a delicious fresh orange for himself.
Though a dedicated detective and pitcher, Plasma enjoys frequent vacations, often visiting Schlitterbahn Waterpark Kansas City after making use of The Meadow’s Fax Machine. Plasma does not seem bothered by the fact that the park has been closed for several years.
Plasma, like all Breath Mints, has failed the bar exam.
Excerpts from Plasma’s Notes
- Uncle Plasma kept many notes scattered across journals, loose papers, and post-it notes pinned to corkboard. The following was found scribbled among Plasma’s notes. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-53.138 out of its Rumor Registry...
to me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other[1]
Chants
- Uncle Mode On
- Nephew Mode (when performing poorly)
- All according to Plansma!
- Get Unc’d on!
- get chapel killed
- UNKIE NASTY (following Season β19 infusion)
- Dunkle Plasma / Uncle Faxma (when getting Faxed)
- ↑ Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
