Tillman Henderson/IF-62.79

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< Tillman Henderson

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Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Tillman Henderson at their Rumor Registry.

Origins

Henderson is just a terrible person. He sucks. Nobody likes him.

He got a spot in the pitching roster because his father, Thrillman J. Henderson, was a hedge fund manager who recommended an accountant with questionable methods to the Crabs' Chief Financial Officer.

His father, always off on business trips or playing glolf, delegated all affection for his son through a paycheck. Starved for attention, armed with financial wherewithal, and sheltered from human decency, Tillman has doubled down again and again on bastard behavior and sustained himself on the ire of his peers because "all publicity is good publicity," which is a really weird way to respond to your friend accusing you of finishing all the milk and then putting the empty carton back in the fridge.

He is not a Baltimore native, and frequently leaves the Crabitat to vacation at his father's summer homes when he is not pitching a game. He has stated several times that he "cannot be killed" by the rogue umpires, but he may in fact be bribing them to keep from being incinerated. He has a matching arm tattoo with Kennedy Loser.

Baltimore

Tillman Henderson has been the greatest lesson in boundary recognition and reinforcement the Crabs have ever had, with the exception of Kennedy Loser who is cursed with the urge to check in on all his teammates.

Tillman Henderson craves validation with desperation, and hangs onto Kennedy Loser's every word like a sad puppy and he sucks at hiding it. He knows that Ken is his best friend but that he is not Ken's best friend and he tries really hard not to think about it. Nobody on the team will ever admit a single positive thing about Tillman Henderson on fear that it would reach him and he would lord it over them until he died. They would later find out that even dying doesn't stop him from doing that.

Since joining the Internet League and getting exposed to somewhat decent people, any improvements in behavior have not been noted. However, Tillman is not actually genuinely bad enough to warrant kicking from the team, especially once the entire city of Baltimore collectively learned what buttons to push to keep him within tolerance levels. However, some new really low prank or get-rich-quick scheme (he is already rich??) is always brewing up in his head and any lull in behavior is just cause for paranoia.

Tillman Henderson has admitted to doing so many stupid things that at this point nobody is sure what is or isn't true about him anymore. Combined with the sense that he's always about to pull something, Baltimore residents have taken up blaming him for just about anything and everything that happens in their day to day lives, and most of the time, they're right.

Cloning Facility And Extended Siesta

During the extended siesta, Tillman discovered a large group of much nicer Tillman clones living in the woods of Maryland, having escaped from the Henderson Cloning Facility and built a life for themselves in the forest. Tillman hired a pirate physicist to create a quantum field interdimensional transporter, transported himself to another dimension with higher technology, and hired another pirate physicist with more advanced technology to create a hyperquantum interdimensional pocket universe entangler, which he used to send the nice Tillman clones to a pocket universe, eliminating any chance of escaping incineration in the process.

Tillman also tried growing a soul patch during the extended siesta.

Incineration

Conflicting reports abound, despite thousands of witnesses in the stands. Some report Tillman flipping off the umpire with one hand and flipping off the fans with another. Some report Tillman pleading in the face of his mortality for the first time. Some report him getting up close and shouting at the umps, last words: "what are you gonna do, incinerate me?" Only one thing felt for certain: if he ever comes back, it would inflate his ego in the worst way.

Rumors were afloat that Henderson made a deal with the umpires to exchange his life for Nagomi Mcdaniel's freedom, after his one and only conversation with the Mother Crab. Tillman would tell you those rumors are true because they sound like a pretty cool thing to have done and that just makes them feel all the less believable. Nagomi was one of the few members of the Crabs who openly loathed Tillman, often leaving the room whenever he would walk in, and declined to comment when pressed, but a sneer makes for an awful poker face.