Squid Galvanic

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Squid Galvanic was a player in the Shadows for the Baltimore Crabs, and was with the team from the Season β9 Endseason until Fall Ball.

Official League Records

Galvanic joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the Baltimore Crabs as the Crabs' Season β9 Playoff Birth.

Galvanic joined the Crabs' lineup during the Descension.

During the Season β12 elections, Galvanic's defense was increased by 3.5 → 4.2 as a result of the Crabs' The Rack blessing.

During the Season β15 elections, Galvanic retreated to the Crabs' Shadows as a result of the Crabs' Move will, resulting in a combined 11.1 → 12.1 stat increase.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Box of Squid Galvanic Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-23.214 and start reading...

Origins

Squid Galvanic started their career in the ILB not as a player, but rather as a staff member. Working for the Monitor in the depths of the Trench, they were the one tasked with finding the Baltimore Crabs, who vanished after their ascension. While not thrilled with the assignment, Squid did as it was told, and ventured to the last known location of the Crabs, and closer to the Black Hole that had opened up in their wake. While over 10 years passed before they were heard from again, time has been known to work differently as one approaches spacial anomalies, and no one was quite expecting the Squid Galvanic who returned with the Baltimore Crabs in Season 12.

A Life of Crime

To quote H.L. Mencken: “Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats," and evidently squids are no exception to that rule. While it is unclear exactly how it happened, by the time Squid was back on the radar of League officials it had decades of experience, an interstellar vessel, her three children (the "squidletts"), and a considerable bounty. Her defection was not taken well, and soon enough the authorities were on her tail. Facing the wrath of Galactic law on one side, and the ILB on the other, Squid considered its original mission. Thinking fast, she caught up with the Baltimore Crabs and offered them a way home - only if it could join them, since as a member of an active team, The League would have no choice but to protect her.

On the Baltimore Crabs

After her dramatic entrance to the team, Squid fit in surprisingly well with her fellow Crabs, even as they were recovering from their experiences from Day X. In particular she has developed a somewhat antagonistic friendship with Silvaire Roadhouse, who meshed well with her gunslinging ways, though from the other side of the law. All in all she has been an excellent addition to the lineup, with her patient eye and steady hits supporting the Crabs to their championship win in the 13th season of the ILB.

Even after Galvanic stepped into the shadows, the new arrivals to the Crabs over the course of the expansion era were a source of great joy for her, who was happy to have a selection of the many strange people of the immaterial plane come to her. Lorcan Smaht was a big hit with Galvanic’s children, who discovered that ey did a lot of wrestling when ey was younger, and was bombarded with requests to roughhouse with them, with especially insistent requests to be suplexed by the pitcher. Enid Marlow was another player that fascinated Galvanic, but more in line with the way that someone would be fascinated with a small angry cat. Looking at Marlow’s record of catastrophes Galvanic admitted that “Maybe Enid would benefit from worrying about things, just a little.”

Galvanic’s most exciting reunion however came with the addition of Alston Cerveza, who she was delighted to see again, just as much as he was to see her. When asked how they knew each other Galvanic simply responded “Oh you know how it is with Danish assassins” and did not provide any further details. Galvanic’s children were likewise delighted to see Cerveza again, insisting on getting souvenirs from his many adventures, something that he happily provided as Galvanic applauded his great consideration as their godfather.

The Event Horizon

In season 24 as the map opened up and the many teams of the ILB were able to steer towards their fates, Galvanic took this development in stride, almost as if she was waiting for this to happen, and this was a logical next step for the splort. Many of the newer members of the Crabs were surprised when she sprung into action, taking charge in a way they had never seen, but the ascended members of the team were very familiar with her leadership in the original Black hole.

Staring into the maw of the newest Horizon to explore, Galvanic set off with her crew beside her once more into the unknown.

Player Chants

  • You're a Squid now (when doing well)
  • You're a Kid now (when doing poorly)
  • Don't worry about it (regardless of performance)

Fan Works

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