Snack Deviation

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 15:49, 1 April 2021 by Pitapot (talk | contribs) (Removed protection from "Snack Deviation")
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)

Snack Deviation is a lineup player for the Society Data Witches.


Official League Records

Deviation joined Internet League Blaseball as a hitter for the Society Data Witches during the inaugural Coffee Cup.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

SNACK DEVIATION is a mobile Blaseball suit created and piloted by Cindy "Syn" Wu, a Taiwanese-American electrical engineer and self-professed "snack enthusiast." [citation needed] It was created in 20██ and was recruited to become part of SIBR and the Society Data Witches for the inaugural Coffee Cup.

Background

Growing up, Wu's family owned and operated a Chinese restaurant in Los Angeles, at which Wu worked as a waiter and in the kitchen when necessary. Their parents encouraged Wu to pursue their engineering interests instead of inheriting the family business, and Wu attended the prestigious Massachusetts Institute of Tlechnology in Boston, MA for their undergraduate, master's, and doctorate degrees in Electrical Engineering.

Wu was dismayed at the local Chinese food options in their local neighborhood, and was further dismayed when they travelled to other American cities for conferences and discovered only disappointing Chinese restaurants (if any at all) in those cities. Wu decided to put their engineering skills to good use, and received a grant to develop SNACK: a mobile kitchen prototype that doubled as a mechanized fighting unit.

SNACK became an instant success, with combination cooking competitions/fight clubs springing up all over the country. This success peaked with the broadcast of The Great British Baking Cage Match, but interest in the format waned after judge Marly Berry bit the ear off of a competitor in the fifth series.

Creation

In the wake of SNACK's success, the ILB inquired and asked Wu to develop a version suitable for batting and serving pre-made snacks. Wu obliged and created SNACK DEVIATION.

The Society of Blaseball Research welcomed Wu and SNACK DEVIATION into their ranks in 20██. It is unknown why they were invited, but it was reported that a pile of snack wrappers and napkins were left in the council chambers after the decision was made.

Vending Machine

The vending machine portion of SNACK DEVIATION provides snacks to consumers after cash or credit card payment. Because SNACK DEVIATION is so huge, most people must step on the mecha suit's hand and be lifted to the vending machine controls to make payments and select a snack. It is otherwise similar to a typical vending machine as defined by the National Automatic Merchandising Association, processing payments, allowing the selection of a snack via touchpad, and then releasing the snack into the compartment at its bottom.

Because SNACK DEVIATION is so big, snacks stocked by the machine vary in size, with some snacks being as big as three feet tall. SNACK DEVIATION provides snacks for Blaseball fans of all species, and snacks may not appear to be edible for all spectators.

SNACK DEVIATION has been known to stock the following:

  • Potato Chips
  • Tacos
  • Taiwanese Popcorn Chicken
  • Donairs
  • Spicy Milk
  • Teeth
  • Peanuts
  • Gamer Gruel
  • Steve's Salmon Crisps
  • External Host Fruit Pies
  • NaN Bread
  • Corn Kernel Panic
  • Browser Cookies
  • MicroChips
  • Instant RAMen
  • 255 Gum
  • Entire cows, non-spherical
  • A delicate pizza
  • A chunky choko
  • A hefty plump helmet mince
  • an aromatic hamburger
  • cups of soup
  • gnomish candy, still in the wrapper
  • a bagged sandwich with an @ on the packaging