Pitball

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.


Pitball is the Miami Dale mascot. It embodies the Dale spirit of celebration and shades-wearing.

Overview

Background

Pitball is a playamancer, a sorcerer with the power to summon a beach at any time or place which will replicate the exact weather and conditions of Miami Beach. Rumors about Pitball's dark origins have earned them the nickname "Mx. Underworldwide." It is widely speculated that its particular playamantic ability is related to the Party Rock, a geographical formation strongly associated with both the mystical and convivial environment of Miami.

Occupation

Pitball is known for leading each home game's 7th Inning Dance Off Foam Party brought to you by SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter (safe* for kids!). The 7IDOFP begins with the ceremonial firing of Worldwide Field's extensive arsenal of t-shirt cannons. Only about 1/3 of the t-shirt cannons fire t-shirts; the rest fire SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter (available in all your favorite flavors and textures!).

Personal Life

Outside of games, Pitball contributes to the Dale's many charitable endeavors, including deviated septum repair and stomach-pumping research.


Pitball Recommends

As a Miami native with decades of experience in the entertainment industry Pitball is known for giving personalized recommendations for local attractions. The following is Pitball's current recommendation for you. This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Rumor from IF-0124.63 out of its Rumor Registry...


You reach into your back pocket and pull out a crumpled brochure you don't remember picking up. It is not a particularly enticing brochure, but a bright orange circle with the word WOW over it catches your eye.

MUST SEE!! - Miami News Now
Bigger than I expected. - Ed Brakes, Ft. Lauderdale
Doesn't smell at all (it's shellacked) - Winnifred Berger, Pompano Beach
It's THE WORLD'S LARGEST ORANGE!
A local tradition with worldwide appeal

You flip open the brochure and see a portrait of a couple in their fifties. Both women look happy but sweaty.

The World's Largest Orange And Bennie's All-Day Breakfast is run by Jenny and Bennie Dubois, who discovered the titular Orange in the groves that still stand behind the attraction today. They had no choice but to devote the rest of their lives to sharing this Florida treasure!

F.A.Q.
YES we are Guinness certified.
We are located off the Florida Turnpike at Exit 51.5B in Martin County. Follow the orange signs!
Open 7 days a week and holidays. Tickets include breakfast and a drink.

You turn to the back of the brochure.

YOU BEAT IT - YOU CAN EAT IT
That's our guarantee! (But not our recommendation.)
Free Parking - Clean Restrooms - No Gas Sorry


Fine Print

*As safe as it is for anyone.

Fine Grit SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter is bubblegum flavored; Medium Grit§ SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter is strawberry lemonade flavored; Large GritΔ SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter is Cheetos™ crumbs flavored. On November 5, XX20, Worldwide Field introduced NEW!! VEGAN!!™SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter in SuperFine Grit Nori and SuperFine Grit Banana; however, these are available only at the concession stand and are not used during the 7th Inning Dance Off Foam Party brought to you by SparkleYum™.

‡ "Fine Grit SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter: A Shimmer in Every Bite!"

§ "Medium aGrit SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter: A Glimmer in Every Bite!"

Δ "Large Grit SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter: A Twinkle in Every Bite!"

¶ "SuperFine Grit SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter: A Sparkle in Every Bite!"

‖ Please be advised that any instance of remembering these words, concepts, and/or images constitutes an unauthorized reproduction and may be punishable by fines of up to 80000 Coins. SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter slogans are used by the Blaseball Wiki via a licensing agreement with Meadowbrook Invlentions. It is illegal to reproduce either or both of the SparkleYum™ Edible Glitter slogans in any form (written, verbal, mental, emotional) without express permission from Meadowbrook Invlentions. Meadowbrook Invlentions will prosecute violators to the full extent of the law. The Blaseball Wiki is not liable for any unauthorized reproductions by its readers, organic or synthetic, and reserves the right to report violations to Meadowbrook Invlentions for a statement credit as outlined in our contract section §124.3.B: Kickbacks. "Meadowbrook Invlentions: We're Having a Great Day!" (Printed in accordance with §15.1.K: Slogan Recursion).