Party Rock

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Party Rock is a geologic formation beneath the City of Miami and surrounding areas. Made of oolitic limestone formed from hyper-pressurized fossils, microbes, and quartz sand, it is less frequently known as the Miami Limestone or the Miami Oolite. As with all limestones, the Party Rock is partially soluble in water. Thus, the flow of water has lead to the erosional karst topography commonly associated with it, including elaborate underground cave systems and coastal formations.

History

The Party Rock far predates human history, having been deposited during the last interglacial period, but is widely believed to be the source of Miami’s primal connection to an eternal influence over its inhabitants. Indeed, folklorists, convivialogists, and anthropologists agree that the city’s “party culture” is inextricably tied to the rock’s influence on the area’s hydrology, biology, traditions, and beliefs.

“The Party Rock is in tune with past, present, and future versions of Miami, and knows its inhabitants before and after their conscious existence. Miamians’ dreams, songs, and stories flow through it, like the waters that permeate the sediment. Very few people can actively tap into it, but its effects are widespread. It is the wellspring for many of this place’s oddities. We are each circulating through it and adding to it.” - (The 47th Incarnation of) Don Elliott

According to convivialogeologists, the tradition of "pouring one out for [the homies]" originated from beliefs about the spiritual flow into and out of the Party Rock mirroring the hydrogeological flow of groundwater.

Effect on Local Ecology

Because of the electric water from Miami's natural springs, most plants and some animals have evolved to be bioluminescent. Due to this, the aesthetic associated with Miami often includes its unique, glowing flora and fauna. Locals enjoy cultivating plants in their party spaces, as at night, the plants light up and give an electrifying, yet natural look to the décor.

Ongoing Research

Research on the rock is jointly spearheaded by Worldwide University's Biscayne Bay Campus Departments of Esoteric Studies and Hydrogeology, as well as the University of Miami's Marine Biology department.

“You know who seems to have a real handle on it is Mr. Wide. I know one time he mentioned like...lime lines? AYYY lines? Something like that, coming out of the Party Rock. Anyway he said you could follow them and find things. It sounded like he meant important stuff, like energy or magic, not like, your keys. Who knows though. Bet they could find your keys.” - Raúl Leal

Dale player Rivers Clembons, research fellow from the University of Miami [disambiguation], is involved in archaeological research involving the Rock.

Relation to the ILB

It is a widespread belief among the Miami Dale that the Party Rock is a conduit to the Blaseball Gods or to divinity more generally. From it, it is said, the team might even receive its blessings, or knowledge of where to find them. Despite being extremely terrestrial (some have argued that being the ground is as terrestrial as you can get), the Party Rock is strongly associated with the spiritual, political, and electoral concept of wimd.

Players are known to state that "we will never apologize for Party Rocking" as a defense of these beliefs.

Many of the team's parties and events feature sculptures of the Party Rock, or even large fragments hewn of natural stalagmites from limestone caverns or sinkholes. The rock is often illuminated by the bright and ever-changing party lights at these venues. It is common to mention that "the Party Rock is in the house tonight" as a benediction for the event and those in attendance.

“Divine? I hear that a lot, yeah. I don’t know about all that. Often, by “divine,” people mean that something came from Somewhere Else, Something Bigger. The Party Rock is just here. It’s just us. But there’s something special about that. Something...eternally renewing. I can still see divinity in that.” - Francisca Sasquatch

Dale lineup player Cannonball Sports is rumored to be made from the Party Rock.

Trivia

The [Party] Rock was at one point a linebacker for the University of Miami[which?] Hurlicanes, and won a National Championship in XX91.

"Pretty sure I went to college with The Rock." - Caleb Novak

All of Miami's water supply comes from groundwater stored in the porous stone of the Party Rock, known as an aquifer. Some products have used this in their marketing, playing on beliefs about the power of the rock in addition to its more scientific characteristics.