Parker MacMillan IIIII
Parker MacMillan IIIII (or Parker MacMillan the Fifth, often stylized as Parker MacMillan IIII) is the third and current intern-interim Commissioner of Internet League Blaseball.
MacMillan IIII became The Commissioner following the percolation of Parker MacMillan IIII during Round 1 of the Coffee Cup.
Origins
Parker MacMillan began acting as the blaseball Commissioner after Parker MacMillan IIII was Percolated during the Coffee Cup.
Like with MacMillan IIII, the new commissioner took some time to get into his new role, misusing several phrases, and having to be walked through updating his profile description and image. Blaseball developers noted that Macmillan was "still a bit raw" and that they "had to dump a lot in there to get him up to speed."
After a few days however, MacMillan took to the role with the same vigor displayed by his predecessors, responding to questions, announcing the start of seasons and post seasons, and plugging sponsors in incineration announcements.
Discovery of Parker MacMillan
As fans began to unredact messages from the Library in Season β21, they uncovered the existence of Parker MacMillan appearing on the Alaskan Immortals in Prehistory. The implications of this discovery, specifically the Legendary status of Parker MacMillan and the naming convention of Replicas, quickly lead fans to the conclusion that Parker MacMillan IIIII, along with his two predecessors, were replicas minted from the original Parker MacMillan.
MacMillan IIIII seemed to come to the same conclusion, quickly expressing his distress on the @Blaseball twitter account with a series of tweets.
what
no
what does that mean
NO
IMPOSTER
MacMillan even went as far as to lock the account temporarily, and on his return did not seem to be his usual upbeat self, replacing the standard #partytime messages that season with the following, before being chided for his unprofessionalism and returning to the previous standard format.
san francisco lovers #partytime
Yellowstone Magic Chicago Firefighters Charleston Shoe Thieves Miami Dale Dallas Steaks Tokyo Lift congratulations you're in #partytime
As the original MacMillain joined the League in Season 24, MacMillan IIIII seemed to express some animosity towards him, frequently cheering when he was attacked by consumers in the Earlseason.
Season 24
As Season 24 began, both MacMillan and the Anchor mentioned concerns about strange noises and shaking, seemingly related to the recently created Supernova. As the Team Incinerations and eclipses carried on, MacMillan could be seen responding to the Anchor, as well as reaching out to The Microphone. Finally, during the Earlsiesta as the Supernova collapsed, Parker Macmillan IIIII became the first Commissioner to speak on the site, with the @BlaseballMic account retweeting his words, and sending them to be seen on blaseball.com. His short speech was as follows:
hello
This is Parker MacMillan IIIII speaking
I am the Blaseball Commissioner
I'm not sure what's happening
I don't know if we can fix it
But I know She doesn't care what happens to you
She doesn't care where you end up
It's not fair
You deserve a say
But you gotta go fast
Don't give up
Help each other
Get moving
This triggered the Map to open up, allowing teams to steer themselves towards the End Zone of their choosing. MacMillan continued to cheer on teams from the @Blaseball account, instructing them to help each other, get to their end zones, stock up, do a skate trick, and eventually "run".
At the end of Day 99, Season 24 the league received one final message from the Commissioner in the Expansion Era, as relayed by The Microphone.
did you hear that
that big bang
The Short Circuits
After the end of the Expansion Era, MacMillan could be seen interacting with the twitter account of The Microphone. This usually consisted of the Microphone account attempting to "TUNE" and MacMillan replying attempting to delete the above tweet.
At the start of the Short Circuits, MacMillan once again used The Microphone to speak on the site, starting off the new season with the following message:
uh
testing?
this is the Blaseball Commissioner
I'm On Deck
If you can hear me
you are now participating in the cultural event
of Internet League Blaseball
I think?
Betting on the First Day is Forbidden
On the First Day, we Rejoice
Then we Gamble
uh
Wake up play ball?
Corination Era
MacMillian continued to tweet throughout the Corination Era, although he appeared to not be able to remember certain things, such as asking who Jessica Telephone was. When a Team won a Championship Macmillan (who had become a legal notary) would present them with a Golden Record.
A Selection of Tweets
The following Gallery displays some of Parker MacMillan IIIII's notable tweets from the @Blaseball account.
Parker's first tweet
Parker starting his new job
Learning about photoshop
Needs more work
Parker Attempting to learn how to use "what's ump dog"
Replying to fans
After discovering Parker MacMillan
The Anchor reaching out to Parker
Parker trying to wake up The Microphone
Warning teams to stock up
Requesting a skateboard trick
Warning teams to their end zones
Trivia
Gallery
Fan Works
