Macaquey Caulkin

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The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Dr. Macaquey Caulkin is the Mind Coach for the Tokyo Lift.

History

Born and raised in the macaque kingdom known as Macaque Kingdom, Macaquey showed great aptitude in the art of tabletop games (not including chess). He graduated top of his class at University with a doctorate in Dice and Cards Studies and became connected with the Lift when he was hired as a Scrabble tutor for Stijn Strongbody. He is currently embroiled in an eternal on-and-off game of mahjong with Nandy Slumps.

Macaquey says his vendetta against the game of chess began when, as a youth, his bedroom was filled with chess pieces that “fell from the shadows in his darkened bedroom like hail”. He then claims to have had an encounter with the Chess God wherein the chess pieces filling his room formed together into a horrendous skull with bleeding eyes. The Skull of the Chess God reportedly began informing Macaquey that he had been chosen as his Chess Champion and was destined to fulfill his dark whims, but was interrupted when a woman walked into Macaquey’s room and “pitched (the skull) at the wall, shattering it like an egg”. The woman then pulled out a notebook and pencil and added a tally to a page labeled “Gods Killed”. She tipped her hat to Macaquey and left without a word via a nearby window. Macaquey found this experience “bothersome” and as such has chosen not to play chess out of spite towards the possibly deceased God.