Lyfe Ride Sharing

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Charon – demigod, boatman, and celebrated psychopomp – once rowed each and every soul that entered Hades across the Styx. But in recent millennia, increased demand (attributed to population growth/the invention of blaseball/running with scissors) has put a strain on Hades’ infrastructure.

These days the waiting rooms are overflowing, and souls are often poached by promoters from neighbouring underworlds handing out fast passes. In Tartarus, labour shortages have led to a buddy system where the newly condemned pair up and torture one another. Dead people sneak out so regularly that Cerberus tends to let it slide, to avoid overeating.

Charon, rushed off his sandals, saw the writing on the wall and acted decisively, using his considerable wealth to restructure his operation into the under-realm’s first and only ride-sharing service, Lyfe.

Lyfe employs a huge number of staff, including the Gondolier Goat-brothers, the Fireproof Flotilla and the Cochytus Kayakers, to provide transport across all of Hades’ rivers. So long as passengers keep to the Terms of Use, they’ll serve anyone – the dead, the living, and the in-between.

The Hades Tigers are allowed to use Lyfe at a significant discount. Except Spears Taylor, who is banned for piercing the upholstery. Charon is not a splortsfan and doesn’t know any of the rules of blaseball, but says home games are “great for business.”