Legscraper

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 15:57, 25 April 2021 by Spotter donut (talk | contribs)

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Legscraper is the home of the Tokyo Lift and the building that houses the Tokyo Fitness Center on its top floors.

Background

The Legscraper is a large, dumbbell shaped tower in the Kōtō ward of Tokyo. At over 600m (1968.5 ft), it is one of the tallest Ballparks in the ILB. The skyscraper is famous for the pair of large, humanoid, 650m (2132.5 ft) legs that manifest under and around the stadium at unpredictable intervals — earning it the colloquial nickname, “The Legscraper”.

The complex includes over 400 different facilities for splorts, wellness, education, non-business functions, and botany, for which it won the “Most Indecisive Building” Award in XXXX. The building is equally well-known for its labyrinth-like architecture, and whilst Lift players, fans, and gym members have been known to navigate it with relative ease, the tower’s expansive layout has led to 15 total disappearances, with some unaware visitors becoming trapped for weeks.

Past Ownership

The land the Legscraper occupies had previously attained notoriety due to its proximity to the Lazarus Pit — a series of large underground, partially flooded caverns situated at the centre of the Lazarus Cave System. The enriched water from the cavern had been found to encourage fitness, health, and ▇▇▇▇▇, as well as supporting a rich ecosystem of endemic bioluminescent organisms, including several members of the genus Cyrtomium and three distinct genera of Salmonidae[1]. The pit was first documented in the works of Kamakura Period diver and splortsman Mehashirou[2]. Whilst initially illegible due to water damage, extensive restoration of the works by cryptogeologist (the study of funky rocks) Grollis Zephyr allowed researchers at the University of Tokyo to locate the caverns, although on-site research was limited after legal action was threatened by land owner TM Holdings™.

The 115 acres (47 ha) of land were subsequently acquired by American entertainment conglomerate Walt Dilsney for only 60,000,000 JPY (600,000 USD), who after considering international parks in Europe, Canada, and Hades, selected Tokyo for the marketability of the pit[3]. Whilst ground was first broken only a month later, construction workers located in the area soon began to report symptoms of increased self-worth, empathy, and a strong desire to follow their dreams. Shocked by the prospect of self-improvement, Dilsney halted construction on the project 4 months into development, and in 1997, it was abandoned.

Construction

During Spring, XXXX, the deeds to the lot reverted to TM Holdings™, who then attempted to lease the land to various construction firms. The company was met with refutals from clients due to complaints of flooding, uneven ground, and highly localised magnetic storms. The deeds were ultimately transferred to professional wrestler Nandy Slumps after TM Holdings™ CFO Jobs Boss lost them in an underground Mahjong match. Slumps would go on to work with long-time collaborator Stijn Strongbody to raise funds for a public fitness center and low-income housing community, eventually receiving a 20,000,000,000 JPY (184,578,480 USD) grant from the Tokyo Metropolitan Government to develop the site.

Redevelopment of the site used extant infrastructure from Dilsneyworld, and was predicted to take over 2 years to complete. Contractors again reported unusual occurrences, including the overnight completion of multiple sections of the structure intended to be completed months later, the activation of devices not connected to a power source, and the disappearance of a 3.5m(11.5 ft) “Melvin the Minotaur" animatronic from the “Tunnel of Love” ride that had been scheduled for auction later that week, appraised at 800,000 USD. Workers also began to find “Lovingly Prepared Beef Wings” in their tool boxes, boots, and the engines of their construction vehicles. Whilst the other anomalies were eventually linked to the confounding effects of the then undiscovered legs, the origin of the “Beef Wings” is currently unknown.

Season 13 Floods

During the League-wide season 13 Ballpark renovations, building surveyors opened the “DO NOT OPEN” door on level 55 of the Legscraper. This door, later found to lead directly to an infinite pool of Immateria, resulted in the constant flooding over 20% of the tower’s local water levels. As flooding was eventually equalised by the opening of a second “DO NOT OPEN” hatch in the sub-sub-sub-basement 10 floors below.

Facilities

Besides the regulation Blaseball field on its upper levels, the Legscraper houses many facilities for all manner of splorts and games. These include Olympic sized swimming pools, indoor running tracks, astroturf fields, physiotherapy treatment centres, and a staggering number of gyms.

The building also contains numerous recreational facilities. One notable example is the Lotus Mango Conservatory and Community Garden. The Conservatory is home to a number of gifts from other teams in the league and was overseen by ex-Lift batter Lotus Mango prior to their trade to the Seattle Garages. Custodianship of the Conservatory has since transferred to Lift pitcher Alejandro Leaf.

The Legscraper also contains rooms for the team's players, regardless of whether or not the player resides in the tower. New arrivals to the team find fully furnished rooms marked with their names, despite no one being able to confirm that the rooms existed prior to their arrival. Players who are roomates find bunk beds already set up for them while players who have their own housing in Tokyo instead find lounges for use between games.


  1. Zephyr G. et al. 'Impacts of the Tokyo “Lazarus Pit” on humans and the native biosphere', Nature? Scientific Journal
  2. Mehashirou 'Treatise on the Pit' Volumes 1-4. Note: Mehashirou is widely considered to be a pseudonym and the real name of the author is unknown.
  3. Licker, Boot 'The Wonderful World of Dilsney' p. 143-150