Kansas City Breath Mints

Kansas City Breath Mints
Logo by @nash_high
League	Internet League Blaseball
Subleague	Mild League
Division	Mild Low
Ballpark	Kansas City FreshDome
Modifications	Targeted Shame (Season 8, 10)Teams with Targeted Shame will start with negative runs the game after being shamed. See also: Glossary  The Fifth Base (Season 10)Ballpark: Teams playing in this Ballpark must run five bases instead of four. Team: This Team must run five bases instead of four. See also: Glossary  Middling (Season 15)This Team or Player will Overperform in the Midseason.  ForceThis Player is Forced into position. They cannot leave their current Location.  RoamlessPlayers cannot Roam to this Team.  Under ReviewThis Team is Under Review...
Home Location	Kansas City, Missouri/Kansas
Team Slogan	"Fresh Breath, Here We Come."
Team Colors	#178f55, #003F1F, #FF0011, #FFFEFF, #D1D1D1
Emoji	🍬
Arcanum	XIII
Team Abbreviation	KCBM
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Team Page
Rivals	Charleston Shoe Thieves
Mascot	Kacey Greens Jr.
Captain	Winnie Hess, Stew Briggs (former), Whit Steakknife (former)
Social media	Twitter

The Kansas City Breath Mints are a Blaseball team in the Mild Low division of the Mild League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season AA.

Roster

Lineup	Rotation
Kina Larsen Winnie Hess Jode Preston Marco Stink	Mooney Doctor II
Shadows
Jordan Boone Trinity Roche Justice Valenzuela Eizabeth Guerra Hierophantic Foible Wanda Fiasco Marquez Clark Ryuji Ngozi Atlas Guerra Conrad Bates PolkaDot Zavala Adkins Swagger Grey Alvarado Hendricks Lenny Leo Baron Daniel Mendoza James Boy Edith Patchwork Vinathan Kelp Kit Schenn Khulan Sagaba Bobbin Moss Artemesia Teixeira Julianne Jones

Former Players

Incinerated

• Whit Steakknife (Season 4, Day 14; replaced by Stew Briggs)
• Eduardo Ingram (Season 4, Day 55; replaced by Lenny Spruce)
• Boyfriend Monreal (Season 7, Day 96; replaced by Pudge Nakamoto)
• Hewitt Best (Season 18, Day 70; replaced by Trinity Roche)

Transferred

• PolkaDot Patterson (To the Baltimore Crabs, end of Season 1, replaced by Winnie Hess)
• Axel Trololol (To the Chicago Firefighters, end of Season 3, replaced by Atlas Guerra)
• Pudge Nakamoto (To the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Season 12 elections, no replacement)
• Jessica Telephone (To the Mexico City Wild Wings, Season 12 elections, replaced by Joshua Watson)
• Eizabeth Guerra (To the Mexico City Wild Wings, Season 13 elections, replaced by Jessica Telephone)
• Stew Briggs (To the Houston Spies, Season 13 elections, no replacement)
• Lenny Spruce (To the Boston Flowers, Season 13 elections, replaced by Sutton Picklestein)
• Sutton Picklestein (To the Hall of Flame, necromancy event, replaced by Marquez Clark)
• Joshua Watson (To the Mexico City Wild Wings, Season 14 elections, replaced by Eizabeth Guerra)
• Jessica Telephone (To the Philly Pies, Season 14 elections, replaced by Jode Preston)
• Oscar Vaughan (To the New York Millennials, Season 15 elections, replaced by Uncle Plasma)
• Tiana Wheeler (To the Yellowstone Magic, Season 17 elections, no replacement)
• Hierophantic Foible (To the Boston Flowers, Season 18 elections, replaced by Jacob Haynes)
• Jacob Haynes (To the Boston Flowers, Season 19 elections, replaced by Hierophantic Foible)
• Lucas Petty (To the LA Unlimited Tacos, Season 21 elections, replaced by Michelle Sportsman)

Feedback

• Dickerson Morse (Season 8, Day 63; swapped with Marco Stink of the Dallas Steaks)
• Sandie Carver (Season 17, Day 15; swapped with Fynn Doyle of the New York Millennials)

Echoed into Static

• Wyatt Mason XIII (Season 14, Day 84)

Faded into Dust

• Goodwin Morin IV (Season 19 elections)
• Valentine Games III (Season 20 elections)

Preserved in the Vault

• Uncle Plasma (Season 20 elections, Investigation completed)

Season Results

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Kansas City Breath Mints/History

• Season 1
  • The Breath Mints won the Max Out Pitcher blessing, maximizing the pitching stats of Polkadot Patterson.
  • The Baltimore Crabs then won the Steal Best Pitcher blessing, stealing Patterson from the Breath Mints and sending back Winnie Hess in exchange.
  • A Mystery Improvement also blessed Hess, improving their pitching from 0 → 2.5 .

• Season 2
  • The Breath Mints were one of 4 teams affected by the Fourth Strike decree, granting them a fourth strike for the following season.
  • The Breath Mints won the Wind Sprints blessing, improving baserunning by 15%.
  • The Breath Mints also won the Literal Arm Cannon blessing, maximizing the pitching stats of Axel Trololol.

• Season 3
  • The Breath Mints won the Summoning Circle blessing, randomizing the hitting stats of Rodriguez Internet, Grey Alvarado, and Eduardo Ingram.
  • The Breath Mints also won The Rack blessing, improving defense by 15%.
  • The Chicago Firefighters won the Vulture blessing, stealing Axel Trololol from the Breath Mints and sending back Atlas Guerra in exchange.

• Season 4
  • All teams were effected by the Alternate Reality decree. This resulted in Alternates of Rodriguez Internet and Oscar Vaughan.
  • The Breath Mints won the Non-Dominant Arms blessing, improving pitching by 13%.

• Season 5
  • Leagues were reshuffled due to the High Filter decree. The Breath Mints were placed into the Mild High Division.
  • The Breath Mints won the Keeping It Wavy blessing, improving minimum vibes by 15%.

• Season 6
  • The Breath Mints won the Headliners blessing, arranging their lineup in order of Idolatry.
  • The Breath Mints also won the Spin Attack blessing, improving speed by 15%.

• Season 7
  • The Breath Mints were targeted by the Bless Off decree, denying their ability to win blessings for the season.
  • The Breath Mints received Targeted Shame for the following season as a result of the Hawai'i Fridays' Shame Bubble blessing.

• Season 8
  • The Breath Mints won the Party Line blessing, adding Mooney Doctor II to the rotation and sending Atlas Guerra to the Shadows.
  • The Mexico City Wild Wings won the Divisional Swap blessing, swapping the Breath Mints into the Mild Low Division as a result.

• Season 9
  • All teams were effected by the Forecast decrees. Winnie Hess gained the Siphon modification, Mooney Doctor II gained the Friend of Crows modification, and Rodriguez Internet gained the Fire Eater modification.
  • The Breath Mints received a Fifth Base for the following season as a result of the Baltimore Crabs' Fifth Base Bubble blessing, and received Targeted Shame for the following season as a result of the Boston Flowers' Shame Bubble blessing.

• Season 10
  • The Breath Mints won the Rogue Waves blessing, granting the Repeating modification to Marquez Clark, Stew Briggs, Grey Alvarado, Rodriguez Internet, and Hewitt Best.
  • The Breath Mints also won the Hidden Power blessing, calling up Helga Washington to the lineup and sending Marquez Clark to the Shadows.
  • The Charleston Shoe Thieves won the Shadow Ban Together blessing, boosting the Breath Mints' Shadows by 3% as a result.

• Season 11
  • The Breath Mints were assigned the XIII Arcana.

• Season 12
  • The Breath Mints received Infuse will, increasing the stats of Pudge Nakamoto from 6.4 → 11.7 .
  • The Breath Mints then received the Revoke will, giving Nakamoto the Roamin' modification, after which they wandered to the Charleston Shoe Thieves.
  • The Mexico City Wild Wings received the Plunder will, stealing Jessica Telephone from the Breath Mints and sending back Joshua Watson in exchange.

• Season 13
  • The Breath Mints benefited from the Free Will decree, receiving three wills instead of two.
  • The Breath Mints received the Exchange will, stealing Jessica Telephone from the Mexico City Wild Wings and sending back Eizabeth Guerra in exchange.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Revoke will, giving Stew Briggs the Roamin' modification, after which they wandered to the Houston Spies.
  • Lastly, the Breath Mints received the Plunder will, stealing the newly-resurrected Sutton Picklestein from the Boston Flowers and sending back Lenny Spruce in exchange. However, Picklestein's Returned modification triggered immediately thereafter, sending Picklestein back to the Hall of Flame and pulling Marquez Clark off the Breath Mints' bench as a replacement.

• Season 14
  • The Meadow received the Crime Scene modifier as part of The Investigation.
  • The Breath Mints received the Foreshadow will, sending Grey Alvarado to the Shadows in exchange for Kina Larsen.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Infuse will, increasing the stats of Hewitt Best from 16.4 → 20.7 .
  • The Mexico City Wild Wings received the Exchange will, stealing Joshua Watson from the Breath Mints and sending back Eizabeth Guerra in exchange.

• Season 15
  • The Breath Mints received the Foreshadow will, trading Oscar Vaughan to the New York Millennials in exchange for Uncle Plasma (who had briefly been in the Breath Mints' Shadows earlier in the season).
  • The Breath Mints also received the and the Transfuse will, increasing Leach Ingram's pitching ability at the cost of some of their baserunning.

• Season 16
  • The Breath Mints received the Transfuse will, increasing Rodriguez Internet's hitting ability at the cost of some of their pitching.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Move will, sending Eizabeth Guerra to the Shadows with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints won the Caps Supply Run blessing, gaining several items.
  • The Breath Mints also won the Sweet Relief blessing, calling up Sandie Carver from the Shadows to the rotation.

• Season 17
  • The Breath Mints received the Move will, sending Fynn Doyle to the Shadows with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Foreshadow will, sending Marquez Clark to the Shadows in exchange for Tiana Wheeler.
  • The Yellowstone Magic then won the Strange Attractor blessing, stealing Wheeler from the Breath Mints with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints won the Patchwork blessing, calling up Hierophantic Foible from the Shadows to the lineup.

• Season 18
  • The Breath Mints received the Move will, sending Lucas Petty to the Shadows with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Equivalent Exchange will, stealing Jacob Haynes from the Boston Flowers and sending back Hierophantic Foible in exchange.
  • The Breath Mints won the Yo... Hitter? blessing, moving Mooney Doctor II from the rotation to the lineup.

• Season 19
  • The Breath Mints received the Move will, sending Trinity Roche to the Shadows with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Shadow Infuse will, increasing Uncle Plasma's pitching ability.
  • The Boston Flowers received the Equivalent Exchange will, stealing Jacob Haynes from the Breath Mints and sending back Hierophantic Foible in exchange.
  • The Charleston Shoe Thieves received the Shadow Revoke will, giving Bright Zimmerman the On an Odyssey modification, after which they roamed to the Breath Mints' Shadows.

• Season 20
  • Uncle Plasma finished their Undercover assignment with the completion of The Investigation, leaving the Breath Mints and the ILB, and becoming Legendary.
  • The Breath Mints received the Move will, sending Hierophantic Foible to the Shadows with no replacement.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Take will, stealing Wooden Necklace of the Feast from Frankie Hambone and giving it to Kina Larsen, causing them to drop Squiddish Jersey of the Famine.
  • The Philly Pies received the Take will, stealing Underhanded Limestone Ring from Winnie Hess and giving it to Jacoby Podcast, causing them to drop Flickering Bat.
  • The Breath Mints won the Targeted Evolution blessing, Evolving Jode Preston and Leach Ingram to Base 1 .

• Season 21
  • The Breath Mints received the Equivalent Exchange will, stealing Michelle Sportsman from the LA Unlimited Tacos and sending back Lucas Petty in exchange.
  • The Breath Mints also received the Magnify will, giving Mooney Doctor II the 2x modification.
  • The LA Unlimited Tacos received the Shadow Revoke will, giving NaN the On an Odyssey modification, after which they roamed to the Breath Mints' Shadows.
  • The Breath Mints won the Trader blessing, giving Mooney Doctor II the Trader modification.
  • The Breath Mints also won the Cluttered blessing, giving Rodriguez Internet the Cluttered modification.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

The Breath Mints' home ballpark is an open meadow on the outskirts of town. They formerly played their home games at the original Kansas City FreshDome. During the Expansion Era, Managemint had the open meadow on the outskirts of town officially named the Kansas City FreshDome, for "Tax Purposes". Fans find this incredibly confusing, most electing to simply refer to the ballpark as The Meadow.

Somewhat unusually, the Breath Mints do not have genuine pitchers on their roster. All of their pitchers are actually batters who decided to help out on the mound. The fans think that's just great.

Staff

• General Manager - Max Betmint
• Batting Coach - Samantha Grink
• Pitching Coach - Atlas Guerra
• Second Base Coach - Alexander Wallender
• Radio Broadcaster - Dan Altoid
• Mascot - Kacey Greens Jr.
• Predator - The Spearmint

Nicknames

• Minties
• Minty Fresh
• Fresh Death
• The Death Mints

Theme Song

Fresh by Kool & The Gang

Fan Culture

Know more about the Breath Mints' fan culture? Add it at Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Culture!

Fans of the Breath Mints - collectively known as the Minty Way - are known for their love of statistical analysis, fanfiction, tolerance, and of star Mints hitter Boyfriend Monreal.

Select Chants

Team-Wide

• MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH! MIN-TY-FRESH!
• FRESH BREATH HERE WE COME / KANSAS CITY NUMBER ONE
• We Have Fresh Breath (clap-clap-clapclapclap)
• Turn them into MINTS MEAT *yelled while brandishing steak knives*

Player-Specific

• Eizabeth Guerra takes no L’s! / [enemy team] can go to h*ll!
• Boyfriend, Boyfriend, they're our boyfriend! / If they can't do it, they're our boyfriend!
• Winnie, you better win! EEEEEEEEEE / Don't mess with the Hess! / Winnie take that Innie!
• Vaughan is on! (Aggressive clattering of teeth)
• ROD.NET! HE'S THE INTERNET! (Rodriguez Internet)
• MIME TIME!
• No re-MORSE! / DOT DOT DASH DASH DICKIE MORSE CAME TO SMASH!
• It's Mark o' Clark!
• PDZ has got skin in the game!
• Don't crowd the plate! Leave a spot! (PolkaDot Zavala throws a brush-back)

Rituals

• Day 96 of each Season has been dubbed Not Nice Day, in remembrance of Boyfriend Monreal, who was incinerated on Day 96 of Season 7. Players and fans alike don dark-colored jerseys, calling back to their time as the Death Mints.
• Following the death of Whit Steakknife, many fans have begun carrying steak knives to the game and waving them en masse. This is incredibly dangerous and not condoned AT ALL by the Managemint. During games against the Charleston Shoe Thieves, the Mints use the knives to cut the laces of their own shoes, making them significantly less valuable to steal. Managemint has proposed screening and confiscating all knives at the gates (so they can sell their own significantly more expensive brand-name knives at the park).

Fan Works

Have Breath Mints fan art? Add it at Kansas City Breath Mints/Fan Works!
Looking for art for an individual player? Check out the Fan Works section on their page!