Kaj Statter Jr.

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Revision as of 04:30, 6 June 2021 by Dasyuridae (talk | contribs) (updated fanworks section)

Kaj Statter Jr. is a lineup player in the Shadows for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the Sunbeams since Season 13, Day 98.

Official League Records

Statter Jr. joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 13, Day 98 after the incineration of Sutton Bishop.

In Statter's first full game, Season 13, Day 99, they partied, stole home, and used Base Instincts to walk to second. During the Season 13 elections the Sunbeams benefited from all four "Bubble" blessings, which increased Statter's batting, baserunning, and defense by 4%. Statter Jr. also gained the Smooth modification as a result of the Peanut Butter blessing.

During the Season 15 elections, Statter's baserunning was boosted 1.9 2 as a result of the Running Practice blessing.

During the Season 18 elections, Statter Jr. retreated to the Shadows in exchange for Phineas Wormthrice as a result of the Sunbeams' Foreshadow will, resulting in a combined 8.6 9.4 stat increase.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Much of Statter Jr.’s history is currently unknown, although xe claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Sea has stated that xir family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. A variety of strange people have been observed cheering shore on at xir games. Despite the uncertainty, everyone queried about Statter Jr. has agreed that sea has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter Jr. often discusses xir family’s many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.

Career with the Sunbeams

After the incineration of Sutton Bishop, Statter Jr. was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of Bishop Sutton to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at the Pocket on Season 13, Day 99, Statter Jr. made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Sea made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of the Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.

Statter Jr. quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by Aldon Cashmoney, sailing them across the desert and using them in seas new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Xe became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made shore a favourite of the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board. Statter Jr. also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Xe also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with seas boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.

Initially, xe had many bouts of dehydration during games at the Solarium. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter Jr. in the game. Recently, Statter Jr. has been seen with a localised raincloud over seas head, periodically misting xem without input. This is theorised to be seas adaptation.

Trivia

  • The Jr stands for Joint Replacer.
  • Statter Jr. has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
  • When interviewers asked Statter Jr. how sea got Cashmoney’s ships to move through sand, Statter Jr. was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
  • The original boat used by Kaj Statter Jr. to crash into the Pocket was composed entirely of bone, obtained by Statter Jr. by unknown means.
  • Statter Jr. is also known as Kaj “What is a background check” Statter Jr.
  • Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, sea will flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.

Fan Works

Fanfiction
For more fanfiction see the 'Kaj Statter Junior' tag on AO3

Videos