Kaj Statter Jr.

Kaj Statter Jr.
Statter up by @realdiscordbot
Basic Information
Team	Hellmouth Sunbeams
Status	Shadowed
Batting	(2.6)
Pitching	(1.4)
Defense	(3.1)
Running	(2.2)
Modifications	ScatteredThis Player returned from Elsewhere a bit Scattered.  SmoothThis Player will have 100% more Speed in Peanut weather.
Items	Bat of the Famine ●●
Dates Active	March 12, 2021 – present
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Player Changes Player Page
Personal Information
Evolution	Base
Peanut Allergy	Not Allergic
Pregame Ritual	Discourse
Coffee Style	Macchiato
Blood Type	Grass
Fate	82
Biographical Details
Pronouns	Xe/xem, Sea/shore/seas
Species	Unknown (probably human. Mostly)

Kaj Statter Jr. is a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams, and has been with the Sunbeams since Season 13, Day 98.

Official League Records

Statter Jr. joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Hellmouth Sunbeams on Season 13, Day 98 after the incineration of Sutton Bishop.

In Statter's first full game, Season 13, Day 99, they partied, stole home, and used Base Instincts to walk to second. During the Season 13 elections the Sunbeams benefited from all four "Bubble" blessings, which increased Statter's batting, baserunning, and defense by 4%. Statter Jr. also gained the Smooth modification as a result of the Peanut Butter blessing.

During the Season 15 elections, Statter's baserunning was boosted 1.9 → 2 as a result of the Running Practice blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Much of Statter’s history is currently unknown, although xe claims to have experience with a wide variety of careers, many more than could fit into a normal human lifespan. Xe has stated that xir family is very expansive, with generations of Statters living across the globe, yet still remains ‘tight-knit’. A variety of strange people have been observed cheering xem on at xir games. Despite the uncertainty, everyone queried about Statter has agreed that xe has ‘strong youngest sibling energy’. Statter often discusses xir family’s many long-standing traditions, such as ‘consuming carbon dioxide and producing oxygen’, and ‘sea shanties’.

Career with the Sunbeams

After the incineration of Sutton Bishop, Statter was enlisted to deliver a letter from the town of Bishop Sutton to the Sunbeams. Upon arrival at the Pocket on Season 13, Day 99, Statter made seas delivery and promptly joined on as the newest member of the Sunbeams lineup. Sea made a powerful first impression in seas first game by careening through the far wall of the Pocket, partying, stealing home, and walking to second.

Statter quickly settled into life with the Sunbeams, taking advantage of the many ships left lying around by Aldon Cashmoney, sailing them across the desert and using them in xir new Hellmouth mail delivery service. Xe became famous for stopping any mail deliveries at the border of Hellmouth, stealing them, and delivering them xemself, in order to avoid the delivery person having to enter Hellmouth. This has made xem a favourite of the Hellmouth Anti-Tourism Board. Statter also took up studying bonecourse at the Hellmouth Community College, indulging a lifelong fascination with discourses. Xe also maintains a busy calendar of social events, with xir boat parties being famous throughout Hellmouth and the league.

Initially, sea had many bouts of dehydration during games at the Solarium. Fellow players carried misters to keep Statter in the game. Recently, Statter has been seen with a localised raincloud over seas head, periodically misting shore without input. This is theorised to be seas adaptation.

Trivia

• The Jr stands for Jackhammer.
• Statter has a large collection of chewable jewellery.
• When interviewers asked Statter how xe got Cashmoney’s ships to move through sand, Statter was confused “What do you mean? Have you never tried to drive a boat through the desert?” Leading to the invention of the now popular ‘sand sailing’ as both a recreational activity and Hellmouth’s primary form of transportation.
• The original boat used by Kaj Statter Jr. to crash into the Pocket was composed entirely of bone, obtained by Statter by unknown means.
• Statter is also known as Kaj “Bluzz Aldrin and Neil Armslong are married and the moon landing was their wedding” Statter Jr.
• Statter Jr. is responsible for a new pre-game ritual for the Sunbeams lineup. Before each game, sea will flip a semi-full bottle of water. If it lands on its base, it is considered good luck for the game ahead. If the bottle falls over, the batters will resign themselves to a bad game.

Fan Works

• 

  Statter by @marcheriest

• 

  Statter up by @realdiscordbot

• 

  Statter by @wadecharade

• 

  Statter design by @sapphriarocks

• 

  by @_iznj

• 

  by Ash

• 

  by @_pysics

• 

  Statter with fellow rookie Jayden Wright by @_iznj

• 

  by allyr_

• 

  Statter Jr. and Wright at the Randall Marijuana Memorial Cat Cáfe by Saffron

• 

  by Ash

Videos

• Party Problems by Olive

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