Halexandrey Walton/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Halexandrey Walton has 3 Rumors written about so far.
Halexandrey Walton/IF-1667
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.
Background
The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.
With The Tokyo Adrift
Halexandrey “Hex” Walton was discovered by the crew of The Tokyo Adrift when an argument between quartermaster Silvaire Semiquaver and Val Hitherto ended with the latter throwing the former’s boot overboard as the vessel was passing through the Bay of Angels. A canine head then broke the surface of the water, carrying the boot in its toothy maw. While she refused to return the boot, she did concede to follow the ship after parleying with Yusef Fenestrate and several other water dwelling members of the crew. Hex appears to have possessed limited arcane abilities, channeling sorcerous abilities through a yellow gemstone (posited to be citrine or topaz). These abilities included hydromancy, manifesting in the summoning of small scale geysers and water spouts from the sea.
Physical descriptions of Hex depict a canid head similar to a North American coyote, though her tongue was described as “possessing rows of serrated teeth”, allowing her to feed by latching onto and draining blood from her prey. Sketches of her serpentine tail and lower half are similar to that of a lamprey, giving her the morphology of the mythical Telkhines. While her exact diet seems to be unknown to the writer, she is described as “an apex predator, fearsome to watch on the hunt. She took down creatures many times her size without much apparent difficulty and one could not be faulted for believing she could hunt down gods if given the opportunity.”
An excerpt from the journal:
Note to self: Do not, under any circumstances, succumb to the temptation of addressing Hex as a ‘salty sea-dog’, the consequences outweigh the perceived hilarity.
Halexandrey Walton/IF-19.581
A Good Girl
Halexandrey Walton is a coyote that wandered into center field through the gap left by the loss of Sosa Elftower, who was incinerated on the 64th day of Season 2. Halexandrey described her recruitment process in an interview given during post-season Party Time.
Halexandrey was not given opposable thumbs when blessed by the blaseball gods, and therefore bats with her mouth. She became an outfielder after complaints that she was biting rival players that reached her base. Because she cannot throw a ball, she just catches it in her mouth and runs it to where it needs to go.
Halexandrey is sometimes known as "Hex", or "Halex".
Chants
Halexandrey's fans often chant "Hex 'em, Halex!" when she is up to bat.
When she joined the Yellowstone Magic, Halexandrey tried to get people to cheer "Apex Predator!", but this didn't catch on until she was feedback'd to the Tacos.
Eating The Gods, and other Taco-Related Activities
Exposed to the only Feedback incident of Season 5, Halex was transferred from the Magic to the Unlimited Tacos, in exchange for Tacos player Wyatt Glover.
Though initially perturbed by the change of scenery and the constantly shifting locales of the Los Angeli, Halex quickly grew accustomed to the new group, often seen feasting on the meat held within the city's titular tacos.
Halex seems to be more than comfortable with her new team, in no small part due to her sympathizing with the Taco's recently-discovered mission to EAT THE GODS. Her newfound appetite for godflesh is likely responsible for her fans finally acknowledging her by the name 'Apex Predator'.
Stealing Shoes
At the end of Season 15, Walton found herself recruited by the Charleston Shoe Thieves. Despite not wearing shoes, Walton delighted in helping the Shoe Thieves steal shoes, and made a very good distraction so the heist crews could carry out their activities under lessened scrutiny.
Traveling to Tokyo
Walton was traded to the Tokyo Lift in Season 16 and promptly moved in with Silvaire Semiquaver, who was delighted to have another set of paws around the house. It certainly didn’t hurt that Walton was enthusiastic about helping Semiquaver with any heist-related tendencies that she exhibited. In return, Semiquaver took Walton on plenty of runs along the beach.Due to the language barrier between her former teams and her new team, Walton was concerned that her “Apex Predator!” cheer would become a thing of the past. Instead Lift fans adopted the cheer as quickly as they adopted Walton herself, and cheered for her in both Japanese and English. She was being deeply appreciative of their support.
Halexandrey Walton/IF-50.712
Halexandrey Walton ("Hex" or "Halex") is the name given to any of a wide variety of female canid or canid-like species which have played in the league, filling an otherwise empty slot in the lineup or rotation. The first observed occurrence of this was for the Yellowstone Magic, on Season 2, Day 64 as a replacement for the incineration of Sosa Elftower, when a coyote (Canis latrans) wandered onto the field. Since this time, this slot in the lineup has been filled by a Walton consistently, even though the slot itself has been transferred between teams over time.
Current species which have been observed as Halexandry Walton are listed in the table below. Since the Season β14 elections, the diversity of the species observed has increased, as has how removed they are from being a canid in nature.
| Common Name | Latin Name | Season and Day First Observed |
|---|---|---|
| Coyote | Canis latrans | Season 2 Day 64 |
| Grey / Red / Eastern Wolf | Canis Lupus | Season 2 Day 98 |
| Domestic Dog (feral) | Canis familiaris | Season 3 Day 16 |
| Grizzly Bear | Ursus arctos | Season 3 Day 20 |
| Red Fox | Vulpes vulpes | Season 3 Day 56 |
| Mexican priarie dog | Cynomys mexicanus | Season 4 Day 28 |
| Black-tailed Prairie Dog | Cynomys ludovicianus | Season 6 Day 4 |
| Tanuki[1] | Nyctereutes procyonoides | Season 11 Day 16 |
| Spiny dogfish[2] | Squalus acanthias | Season 13 Day 16 |
| Mainland Grizzly Bear | Ursus arctos horribilis | Season 15 Day 96 |
| Maned Wolf | Chrysocyon brachyurus | Season 16 Day 32 |
| Bobcat | Lynx Rufus | Season 16 Day 54 |
| Ezo Flying Squirrel | Pteromys volans orii | Season 17 Day 81 |
| Green Pheasant | Phasianus versicolor | Season 18 Day 23 |
| Kerama Deer | Cervus nippon keramae | Season 18 Day 27 |
| Leopard Cat | Prionailurus bengalensis | Season 19 Day 73 |
Of these, by far the most common species witnessed is the coyote, including the specific initial coyote which replaced Elftower in season 2. Despite the fact that Walton is readily observed by fans of the sport to be a multitude of different specific animals and species, almost universally any active Blaseball players identifies her exclusively as a "good girl," "pupper," "puppo," or "fluffy-wuffy", seemingly confusing her with some domesticated canid. Players on both Walton's team and on opposing teams treat her as such, petting her, giving her table scraps (Tokyo Lift player Nandy Slumps seems especially prone to doing this). When asked, Blaseball players cannot identify what specific species she is nor can they identify that she is, in fact, a wild animal.
Walton's "change" of species has never been directly observed. While Walton does hang around the team between games, before the next game they always seem to have a moment to slip out of sight, during which they may change species.
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