Goobie Ballson
Goobie Ballson was a lineup player for the LA Unlimited Tacos and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until being incinerated on Season β22, Day 9. Ballson had previously played for the Chicago Firefighters, Canada Moist Talkers, Tokyo Lift, and Atlantis Georgias.
Official League Records
Ballson joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Chicago Firefighters on Season β8, Day 36 after the incineration of José Haley.
During the Coffee Cup, Ballson played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.
Ballson was traded to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for Carmelo Plums during the Season β17 elections via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a pitcher in the process.
On Season β18, Day 72, Ballson retreated to the Moist Talkers' Shadows in exchange for Augusto Reddick via Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.
On Season β19, Day 94, Ballson joined the Moist Talkers' active roster in exchange for Amos Melon via Gleek Arena's Fax Machine.
Ballson was traded to the Tokyo Lift in exchange for Cudi Di Batterino during the Season β19 election via the Moist Talkers' Equivalent Exchange will.
On Season β20, Day 11, Ballson was exchanged to the Atlantis Georgias due to Feedback. Ballson was replaced by Jan Canberra. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Ankle Halifax as a result of the Atlantean Dome's Fax Machine. On Day 80, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' active roster in exchange for Dickerson Morse via the Fax Machine. On Day 86, Ballson once again retreated to the shadows in exchange for Nanci Grackle due to the Fax Machine.
On Season β21, Day 31, Ballson rejoined the Georgias' pitching rotation in exchange for Jan Canberra via The Atlantean Dome's Fax Machine. On Day 79, Ballson retreated to the Georgias' Shadows in exchange for Jan Canberra once again via the Fax Machine. On Day 80, Ballson once again rejoined the rotation in exchange for Ortiz Lopez via the Fax Machine. Ballson was traded to the LA Unlimited Tacos in exchange for Fish Summer during the Season β21 elections via the Georgias' Equivalent Exchange will, becoming a lineup player in the process.
On Season β22, Day 9, Ballson was incinerated and replaced by Pannonica Oko.
COMMUNITY REPORTSThe remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.
Box of Goobie Ballson Files
- Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-1667 and start reading...
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.
Background
The following information was uncovered, documented, and annotated by Lance Serotonin, researcher at The Atlantean Facility for Interdimensional Studies and Hypotheses, as part of an ongoing research project into the history of the Tokyo Adrift.
With the Tokyo Adrift
Goobie Ballson appears in tales of the Tokyo Adrift as a large sentient bubble in the sea of Immateria. Unable to break the surface but desperate for conversation and companionship, the buoyant Ballson was drawn to the wreck-divers of the Adrift. Their warm personality and oxygen-rich interior soon made them an important part of the operation.
In the years before breathing apparatus, Ballson offered access to greater depths than simple free-diving would allow. The most sustained discussion of Ballson is in connection with acting captain Lance Serotonin and his plan to retrieve an unnamed artefact long presumed beyond salvagers’ reach. The outcome of his attempt is not known and no later mention of him has been found in any extant manuscript, nor has he been seen by A.F.I.S.H. researchers.
Controversy
While Ballson’s depiction is persuasively consistent from text to text - a self-sustaining, mobile air pocket with a goofy grin and a lingering scent of berries - there is still some debate over their true nature. A minority of historians[who?] maintain that “Goobie Ballson” is merely a playful reference to a diving bell, and that the ascription of character traits to this object was a ship-wide running joke. Even if the so-called Bellists were correct, the device could not have been wholly reliable. The name appears in the logs of several other vessels, often just before some calamity costs them one or more shipmates.
The diving-bell theory has dwindling support. Complete consensus in contemporary sources is rare, yet we have more than a dozen independent descriptions of Goobie being an awesome friend, inventing board shorts and playing ska-hornpipe hits on the hurdy-gurdy. Ballson’s time with the Adrift does not seem to correlate with any timeframe yet observed in A.F.I.S.H, so definitive conclusions one way or the other are impossible.
Fan Works
gif by Rusty Fnord on Discord
Goobie is a friend of all! by @_waalkr
Soft Goobie! by @_waalkr
Goobie visits local knitting circle by @_waalkr
Ever changing nightmare Goobie to match wikis artbreeder style by the firefighter discord
Fresh out of the egg! Hi Goobie! by @_waalkr
Mini-Blaseballer by @HetreaSky
Goobie by @glassgoblin
Goobie by LaserMessiah on Discord and @necromngo and Twitter via Artbreeder
Goobie Ballson on the Canada Moist Talkers, by thevdude
Goobie by Nic
Art by @saltbuzzard
Goobie by Eli
Three of Pentacles
by @birbteef
Goobie promoting wildfire safety by Eli
| Players | Batters | |
|---|---|---|
| Pitchers | ||
| Shadows | ||
| Buried | Wyatt Owens · Wyatt Pothos · Reggie Canberra · Caleb Alvarado | |
| Former |
|
|
| Stats | Season | 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 |
| Events | The Grand Unslam · The Wyatt Masoning · Party Time Speedrun · Snackrifice | |
| Ballpark | Al Pastor Memorial Park | |
| Community Lore | ||
| Staff | Al Pastor · Lalengua · Pepito the Coyote | |
| Places | Los Angeli | |
| History | Unlimited Tacos' History · Los Angeli Research Division | |
| Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏 | ||
| 72° and Infinite | ||
