Glolfbot

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Glolfbot is a system of AIs based of deceased Glolfers. Each System Member is a Junior Groundskeeper for The Pillars.

Early History

Somewhere in the Core, a lone Mechanic on a drunken bet one siesta created a program made to simulate a universe where Glolf won the Blaseball-Glolf Clonflict. Luckily for the Core's "No gods" rule, this mech wasn't incinerated on the spot as they worked. Somewhere during this simulated Glolf experience, the glolfers playing somehow became sentient beings. Completely unaware they were in a simulation, many Opens were held, with multiple rips in the simulated time-space fabric. This all expanded to some extreme Fox-Based Apocalypse which made the glolfers realize they were, in fact, in a simulation. After the fact, many Core Mechanics pitched in to use one of Gia Holbrook's bodies to house the multiple glolfers who wanted to explore the world outside of their simulation. Unfortunately, due to a lack of robotic bodies, and more importantly, the fact that their combined glolfyness kept them from ceasing to exist, all glolfers had to share one body for the duration of their stay in the outside world.

System Members

Rebecca Monarch

A trans woman and half-butterfly, Rebecca (known by her friends as Becky) is a professional Glolf Cart Driver with a penchant for chaos. Her heavily modified Glolf Cart, lovingly called "The Cuddle Cart", is a high powered and barely street legal machine of speed. While her tendency to rope her friends in to many of her actions and her fierce aversion to authority may make her appear to be uncaring or seemingly malicious, she only wishes to protect her friends from those who would harm them. She is the girlfriend of fellow system member Freddie Missouri. She thinks Freddie is an amazing woman who constantly helps her out of her darkest moments.

Freddie Missouri

Freddie Missouri is a 6 foot tall Farmer Girl with a heart of gold, despite growing in an abusive household for a good portion of her childhood only to be adopted later in it. She wishes only for the best everyone around her. She has quite the green thumb and is quite the chef. She is the girlfriend of Rebecca Monarch, who she thinks is extremely creative (especially with her glolf cart) and admires her keeping her friends safe.

Bingo Polaroid

Bingo is an agender Sphinx Cat who enjoys photography and exploring the world. They can be seen taking photos with their camera whenever they're playing Glolf. Despite the fact that they can speak while fronting, they much prefer non-verbal communication such as keyboards, notes, and sign language. They're roommates with Legally Jorts in the glolf simulation and are good friends with him.

Legally Jorts

Legally Jorts, known by his friends as just Jorts, is an amphibious creature who enjoys his friends and Boba Tea. He has a cool hat that says "Hat" on it. They are also a professionally a MS Paint artist. Their works aren't in any museum, but they are in everyone's hearts, which is the greatest museum of all. He is roommates with Bingo Polaroid, who he considers an amazing friend.

Solar Dies

Solars is a miniature sun and advertisement specialist. Like Becky, they look out for everyone's interests, but they also ensure everything the system does is both safe and completely legal. Despite what many may think, Rebecca and Solar are in fact great friends. Becky appreciates that Solar keeps her ideas in the realm of reality, and Solar respects that some rules that Becky breaks are in fact tyrannical in nature and should be broken every once in a while. They somehow glolf, despite the fact any glolf club they wield should be melted. They also used to be the mascot for SlunnyD in the 90's (Solar does not mention which 90's).