Evelton McBlase II/IF-84.022

Rumor / Community Lore
This article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Evelton McBlase II at their Rumor Registry.

Origins

On the day of the season 6 election Evelton McBlase, who was taking a stroll along the beach at the time, was observed to suddenly widen to his left. When his head was of an appropriate size to look like two blaseball blases glued together rather than the usual one, a pair of eyes were seen to suddenly open. Then, there was an instant in which everyone in the world blinked at the same time, and when everyone's eyes were open again, there was an (almost) identical McBlase, however without a blaseball cap, standing to Evelton's left. Unfortunately, before the new McBlase could be given the usual Fridays welcome of having a cold one to crack open with the boys, girls, good girls, birds, trees, and otherwise disposed, an unknown member of the Houston Spies was lowered in, grabbed the new McBlase, and was airlifted away. While he was eventually returned to the Fridays in later seasons it is unclear, as many things are with the Spies, what exactly occurred while he was away.

Nonetheless McBlase II's return was met with the same chill vibes that we have all come to expect from the Friday's legendary hospitality.

Trade to the Baltimore Crabs

Evelton has claimed that the season 10 People's Champions trade for themselves, Baldwin Breadwinner, and Bevan Underbuck was part of an scheme to "steal ascension" from the Baltimore Crabs. While no other reports from the Hawaii Fridays have backed this up as an intentional plan, it is clear that the trade did take place from the presence of Nagomi McDaniel, Sutton Dreamy, and Montgomery Bullock (and Bontgomery Mullock) in the ILB even as the Crabs were called up.

From the Telescope

While it is unclear exactly what is happening in the Big Leagues, Baltimorean telescope watchers have reported catching glimpses of Evelton and the Crab's resident criminal, Forrest Best, accused of participating in "The Great Eel-scape", "The Thunder Catfish Caper", "My Ultimate Vengeance", Handling Salmon in suspicious circumstances, and Embezzlement. It appears that with this new addition McBlase II's success rate at committing crimes has gone up significantly, and Best has remained in top form even when participating in the Big Leagues.

When asked how this effects their focus on the game, team captain Kennedy Loser commented that "It's good to let them burn off their excess energy sometimes, and Forrest keeps them out of too much trouble. Plus Evelton made me this ray gun that is supposed to improve my vibes which was sweet of them".

Transfer to the Core Mechanics

McBlase II has continued their crime spree post-decension, though their success rate has gone down without the involvement of Best. They have also been hampered by the mysterious crime-fighter known only as Captain Judochop. The two have been seen engaging in physical, verbal, and plokemon battles with one another. Team representative Jolene Willowtree, when asked about the situation, stated that ve is "just happy that they're keeping each other distracted."

On the Firefighters

After four seasons on the Core Mechanics, McBlase II Roamed away from them and spent Season 18 with the Chicago Firefighters. McBlase II was eager to test their latest invention, the Unflamethrower, a device that ejects a stream of Unfire to extinguish fires. Undeterred by comments from their new teammates such as "isn't that just a fire extinguisher," McBlase II proceeded to put out fires with a frequency that matched the most zealous of the Firefighters.

However, as was noted by Chicago news reports, McBlase II seemed only to be putting out fires that weren't in need of extinguishing, including but not limited to beach party bonfires, backyard barbecues, and the pilot lights of stoves in numerous Chicago homes.

The most infamous accomplishment during their time with the Firefighters was when McBlase II extinguished the Solympic Flame as it was being carried to signal the start of the Hellmouth Sunbeams regular season. The Declan Suzanne for the Firefighters was unable to be reached for comment about this incident, nor any of the other incidents, due to the Firefighters being busy hosting Party Time as mandated by the ILB.

Declaring their new invention a success, McBlase II Roamed away from the Firefighters during the Season 18 elections.

On the Magic

During Season 19, McBlase II played for the Yellowstone Magic. At the end of the season, they were traded.

On the Lift

McBlase II played for the Tokyo Lift during Season 20, and spent the siesta immediately following the Season 20 Elections creating and refining her many nefarious inventions. Chief among them was an old invention they had once created to pass the time while Ascended with the Crabs: the "Ray Gun that trans your gender." The Ray Gun’s only previous subject, Forrest Best, had claimed it worked perfectly and seasons later, McBlase II tried it for herself. She, like Best, claimed it worked perfectly. At the end of the season, she Roamed.

On the Wild Wings

McBlase II played for the Wild Wings during Season 21.

On the Crabs

McBlase II was traded to the Baltimore Crabs at the end of Season 21. Upon arriving, they were reminded of the multiple rivalries, half finished evil science machines, and active warrants waiting for them in Baltimore. McBlase II quickly roamed away to make their exit, though as they left McBlase II could have sworn they heard a voice from the bay congratulating them on finding a form that fit them, even if it wasn’t a crab (yet).

On the Millennials

McBlase II has stated that she came to New York for two reasons; first, that “it wasn’t Baltimore”, and second that “all the best supervillains went to New York at some point!” However, some have speculated that during her time on the Firefighters and Wings, Eve had heard of Mullen Peterson and thought she sounded cool, and that that had played a role in her Roam as well.

Whatever the reasons, at the end of Season 21 McBlase II arrived at the Apartment, declared herself a new member of the team, and immediately took the last eggs from the Apartment fridge to use in a “super-chicken experiment”.

McBlase II proceeded to wreak havoc, as was her wont. Initially, she offered to weaponize the Apartment, but after Patty Fox politely yet firmly denied, she released a quantity of eels into the Apartment plumbing. It is currently unclear whether this was out of revenge or just because she wanted to.

Despite her shenaniganry, McBlase II seemed to thrive on the Millennials. She bonded quickly with Mullen Peterson, whose engineering know-how and level-headed demeanor provided a good counterbalance to McBlase II’s large and explosive plans, and during her time in the Millennials’ Shadows befriended Charlatan Seabright, who gave her a crash course in both makeup and piracy. Despite some initial awkwardness with former Spy Andrew Solis, tensions lessened considerably when Solis reminded McBlase II he had left the Spies long before her creation, and had no more preexisting bias against her than any of the other Millennials.

When asked if McBlase II’s villainous schemes had been disruptive to the team, Mills player Conrad Vaughan said “Oh, Eve’s really a sweetie when you get down to it! And her ‘machinations’ are actually kind of helpful sometimes.” Theodore Cervantes added that “We will not shun Eve for her machinations, and in return we ask only that she deal with the consequences herself. This arrangement is working nicely.”

As the Season 22 Elections approached, many assumed McBlase II would again Roam away. However, for the first time since Season 17, McBlase II didn’t leave. She has stated that she “just sort of liked it here”, although an anonymous tip suggested that the Millennials had insisted she not leave until she cleared all the eels out of the plumbing.

Whatever the reason, Evelton McBlase II stayed with the Millennials for an additional two seasons, and was with them when the Black Hole(Black Hole) arrived.