Denzel Scott/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Denzel Scott has 3 Rumors written about so far.
Denzel Scott/IF-210.78
History
Denzel Scott is the name of various cars whose license plates read DNZL SCT. Scott appears in many different forms and the limits of their transformation abilities are not known. As a car, Scott can take many forms, often opting for a sporty or subtle look. Some of Scott’s popular forms include an Honda Odyssey, an inconspicuous telephone company van, a limousine, an Aston Martin DB5, KITT, and a 1958 Denzel 1300WD. Unredacted records of the Houston Spies do not indicate how Scott came to be a member of the Spies agency nor of the Spies Blaseball team, and efforts to interview Scott on these points have thus far only been met with Scott peeling out and driving away.
Upon first joining the Spies, they were one of the teams worst pitchers, alongside Math Velazquez, until both received replacement elbows, despite neither having arms. Because of a Season 9, Day 52 Reverb event, both became hitters, where they have performed well. When hitting the ball, Scott does not use a bat, but rather opens a door to slam it into the ball.
While Scott can communicate via speech through the various car radios (and in one instance an ice cream truck speaker), documents reveal they prefer to communicate through selective song playing, finding appropriate lyrical responses to the conversation. When Scott curses or discusses classified information, the car horn honks, censoring whatever it was they said. Observation reveals that any number of passengers can fit into their various forms, as the entire Houston Spies Blaseball team has been observed entering Scott’s Honda Odyssey form, despite a standard Honda Odyssey only containing room for seven passengers. Observation also reveals that only Son Scotch is allowed to sit in the driver’s seat.
Personality
Scott is a polite and conscientious vehicle. Whenever passengers go to enter their various forms, the doors always open for them, and the interior is always the perfect temperature for each passenger. Scott also volunteers for designated driver duty whenever necessary. Interviews with Spies reveal that Scott also does the dishes without being asked, pays the rent early, and keeps the bathrooms at Spies HQ sparklingly clean, despite being a car and seemingly being incapable of performing such tasks. These same interviews state that Scott has never been observed doing these tasks, and never states they’ve done them, and yet every Spy knows instinctively Scott was responsible.Denzel Scott/IF-7.8837
History
Denzel Scott has become internationally recognised for being the most frequently overlooked player in the Houston Spies, if not the entire league. Scott's reputation for lacking a reputation began at a young age, as they were notorious for being forgotten with an alarming frequency[1]. This is surprising, given that Scott is both a car and a person. Sometimes Scott is a car, sometimes a very mundane human, and sometimes Scott operates as both the car and the exceedingly average driver that they manifest from within them, and yet in all instances they remain entirely forgettable.
As a car, Scott can take many forms, often opting for a sporty or subtle look. Some of Scott’s popular forms include an Honda Odyssey, an inconspicuous telephone company van, a limousine, an Aston Martin DB5, KITT, and a 1958 Denzel 1300WD. While Scott the car can communicate via speech through the car radio or honking their horn in Morse code, at times they prefer to communicate through selective song playing, finding appropriate lyrical responses to the conversation. When Scott the car curses or discusses classified information, the car horn honks involuntarily, censoring whatever curse word they said.
Capitalising on their local fame, Scott joined the Houston Spies to demonstrate their other great talent—Blaseball playing. They, alongside Math Velazquez, were, ironically, one of the Spies' worst pitchers until both received replacement elbows, which applied to the car as well as the human Scott, despite the car not having arms or elbows. Because of a Season 9, Day 52 Reverb event, both became hitters, where they have performed well.
Human Scott uses a bat to hit the ball, while as a car Scott opts instead to open their doors to hit the ball. Scott’sBlaseball playing also granted them the opportunity to demonstrate their incredible forgettability on a national stage. Over the course of their career, Scott has managed to become one of the splort's most recognisable stars by being its least recognisable star. In fact, during the Season 6 election Scott was so forgettable that, even though they were obviously the least idolized player in the league, their teammate Howell Franklin was chosen to swap teams by a blessing targeting the least-idolized instead. When asked about coming in second place as being the most overlooked, Scott said, “No, I wouldn’t say I’m bitter. But people have a thing, you know? And mine is being the most forgettable. Guess I just never expected to come in second at that.”
Denzel Scott has a normal personal life—perfectly average, in fact. They are 52 years old, with a bachelor's degree in business management, a loving spouse, exactly 2.5 children, and a two-bedroom house in eastern Houston built in the late 1970s, 26.1 minutes away from the Spies stadium. They are so aggressively normal that they seem to have built up an inexplicable immunity to the supernatural, eldritch, weird, or otherwise interesting abilities of other Blaseball players, which extends between the human and the car.
Documented examples include:
- Complimenting the eye color of Math Velazquez, despite the fact that Math is a metaphysical construct of the entire mathematical discipline, and therefore does not have a face.
- Reporting no memory of having raised Son Scotch, but treating them as one of Scott's 2.5 children anyway, since according to them, "It's only polite".
- Always recognizing and warmly greeting Reese Clark despite Reese’s ever-changing appearance, which often ruins a perfectly good stakeout.
- Scott always accurately pronounces the otherwise indecipherable growl that is the name of the demon Marco Escobar summoned, doing so even in car form.
- Recognizing the true nature of Collins Melon, thereby prompting Collins to offer Scott a lifetime supply of (thankfully non-sentient) melons to secure their silence.
- Upon meeting Boyfriend Monreal, Scott politely rejected their advance and was quoted as honking in Morse code “Sorry, I have my weekly date night with my partner in a little bit, can’t chat.”
If there are more examples of this singular phenomenon, they have likely been forgotten, along with so much else about the famously obscure Denzel Scott.
Scott's existence, and the facts of their condition, are the closest that we likely will ever get to proof positive of the Spies' spying. Logic dictates that they are one of the team's greatest assets, and would be a treasure trove of information about the Spies' covert activities, if only the team would officially recognize that Scott exists at all.
Personality
Scott is a very responsible and kind person. Both human and car Scott often do the dishes without being asked, pay the rent early, and keep the bathrooms at Spies HQ sparklingly clean, despite a car not being able to perform these tasks. Car Scott also always opens the door for passengers, keeps the interior at a very comfortable temperature that never needs adjustment, and acts as the designated driver for all Spies events. Scott is so responsible and polite that it seems to manifest in strange ways. When others misplace something, Scott always finds it in the first place they look. When at the store, they always manage to find one more item of whatever they’re looking for, even if the store claims to be out of that item. These traits are shared, like all other traits, between the human and car Scott.
- ↑ Scott, Denzel. Pay Attention but Do Not Pay Attention to Me, Unsuspicious Houston Publishing Co., 2020, 38 p., ISBN 2-1-14-7-2-1-14-7
Denzel Scott/IF-86.988
History
Denzel Scott has become internationally recognised for being the most frequently overlooked player in the Houston Spies, if not the entire league. Scott's reputation for lacking a reputation began at a young age, as they were notorious for being forgotten with an alarming frequency.[1] Capitalising on this local fame, Scott joined the Houston Spies to demonstrate their other great talent—Blaseball playing. They, alongside Math Velazquez, were, ironically, one of the Spies' worst pitchers until both received replacement elbows.
Because of a Season 9, Day 52 Reverb event, both became hitters, where they have performed well. Scott’s Blaseball playing also granted them the opportunity to demonstrate their incredible forgettability on a national stage.
Over the course of their career, Scott has managed to become one of the splort's most recognisable stars by being its least recognisable star. In fact, during the Season 6 election, Scott was so forgettable that, even though they were obviously the least idolized player in the league, their teammate Howell Franklin was chosen by the blessing instead. When asked about coming in second place for being the most overlooked, Scott said, “No, I wouldn’t say I’m bitter. But people have a thing, you know? And mine is being the most forgettable. Guess I just never expected to come in second at that.”
Denzel Scott has a normal personal life—perfectly average, in fact. They are 52 years old, with a bachelor's degree in business management, a loving spouse, exactly 2.5 children, and a two-bedroom house in eastern Houston built in the late 1970s, 26.1 minutes away from the Spies stadium. They are so aggressively normal that they seem to have built up an inexplicable immunity to the supernatural, eldritch, weird, or otherwise interesting abilities of other Blaseball players.
Documented examples include:
- Complimenting the eye color of Math Velazquez, despite the fact that Math is a metaphysical construct of the entire mathematical discipline, and therefore does not have a face.
- Reporting no memory of having raised Son Scotch, but treating them as one of Scott's 2.5 children anyway, since according to them, "It's only polite".
- Always recognizing and warmly greeting Reese Clark despite Reese’s ever-changing appearance, which often ruins a perfectly good stakeout.
- Scott always accurately pronounces the otherwise indecipherable growl that is the name of the demon Marco Escobar summoned.
- Recognizing the true nature of Collins Melon, thereby prompting Collins to offer Scott a lifetime supply of (thankfully non-sentient) melons to secure their silence.
- Upon meeting Boyfriend Monreal, Scott politely rejected their advance and was quoted saying “Sorry, I have my weekly date night with my partner in a little bit, can’t chat.”
If there are more examples of this singular phenomenon, they have likely been forgotten, along with so much else about the famously obscure Denzel Scott.
Scott's existence, and the facts of their condition, are the closest that we likely will ever get to proof positive of the Spies' spying. Logic dictates that they are one of the team's greatest assets, and would be a treasure trove of information about the Spies' covert activities, if only the team would officially recognize that Scott exists at all.
Personality
Scott is a very responsible, polite, and kind person. They often do the dishes without being asked, pay their bills early, and keep the bathrooms at Spies HQ sparklingly clean. They also always offer to serve as the designated driver. Scott is so responsible and polite that it seems to manifest in strange ways. When others misplace something, Scott always finds it in the first place they look. When at the store, they always manage to find one more item of whatever they’re looking for, even if the store claims to be out of that item.
- ↑ Scott, Denzel. Pay Attention but Do Not Pay Attention to Me, Unsuspicious Houston Publishing Co., 2020, 38 p., ISBN 2-1-14-7-2-1-14-7.
Create New Rumor
To create a new Rumor for Denzel Scott, use the Page Creation tool to the right. The IF number needs to be a randomly generated 4 or 5 digit number with a period placed somewhere within, and it cannot match any numbers currently used on this page. We've generated one for you to use, but feel free to use a different number. This will create a subpage under Denzel Scott for inclusion in the main page. Visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill/Guide to read more about how to create a new Rumor.
