Dallas Steaks

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The Dallas Steaks are a Blaseball team in the Awful Evil division in the Evil League. They have been a part of Internet League Blaseball since Season AA. Before Fall Ball, they were in the Mild High division in the Mild League.

Roster

Current Era

Lineup Rotation
Shadows
Shadows are currently unknown or unavailable.

Expansion Era

Lineup Rotation
Shadows


Former Players

Incinerated

Feedback Swaps

Blessings and Trades

Faded to Dust

Phantom Thieves' Guild Heists

Redactions

Season Results

Season Wins Record Win% Division

Finish

League

Finish

Wins

Behind

Postseason Season Notes
1 56 56-43 .566 1st 2nd — Lost quarter-finals vs. Chicago Firefighters, 3-1
2 72 72-27 .727 1st 1st — Lost quarter-finals vs. Charleston Shoe Thieves, 3-2
3 55 55-44 .556 2nd 4th — Lost quarter-finals vs. New York Millennials, 3-1
4 56 56-43 .566 2nd 3rd — Lost quarter-finals vs. New York Millennials, 3-1
5 51 51-48 .515 3rd 4th — Lost quarter-finals vs. San Francisco Lovers, 3-1 Advanced to postseason through tiebreaker place
6 48 48-51 .485 4th 5th 5 — First time missing the postseason
7 46 46-53 .465 4th 7th 10 — Received Targeted Shame for next season
8 59 59-40 .596 3rd 3rd — Lost quarter-finals vs. Hades Tigers, 3-1
9 52 52-47 .525 3rd 5th 8 — Received Targeted Shame and Fifth Base for next season
10 41 41-58 .414 5th 8th 14 —
11 51 51-47 .520 2nd 4th — Lost wild card games vs. Yellowstone Magic, 2-1 Set new single-game home run record of 23
12 35 37-62 .374 5th 10th 20 —
13 56 58-41 .586 2nd 5th 1 — Did not advance to playoffs based on tiebreaker place.
14 52 52-47 .525 3rd 6th 5 —
15 54 54-45 .545 2nd 5th 1 — Did not advance to playoffs based on tiebreaker place.
16 73 74-25 .747 1st 1st — Won Internet Series vs Chicago Firefighters, 3-2 First Internet Series victory. Received Power Chaaarge
17 65 65-34 .657 2nd 3rd — Lost quarter-finals vs. Philly Pies, 3-1
18 53 52-47 .525 3rd 6th 2 — Eliminated from playoff contention on the last day
19 -49 45-54 .455 3rd 5th 7 — Turntables in effect this season
20 72 69-30 .697 1st 2nd — Lost Overbracket semi-finals vs. Core Mechanics, 3-1
21 46 34-65 .343 5th 10th 24 Lost Underbracket quarter-finals vs. Kansas City Breath Mints, 3-1
22 51 43-56 .434 6th 9th 17 Lost Underbracket quarter-finals vs. Hawai'i Fridays, 3-1


Season Recaps

Season 1

The Dallas Steaks finished Season 1 as one of the 4 top scoring teams in the Good League, and advanced to the Internet Series playoffs. They were defeated and eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Chicago Firefighters.

Season 2

The Steaks had an excellent Season 2, and ended the season with the best record in the League: 72 wins and 27 losses, securing themselves a seat in the Playoffs as the #1 seed from the Good League.

Despite taking an early 2 game lead in their Round 1 Playoff match versus the Charleston Shoe Thieves, the Steaks were unable to clinch a third game win, and were eventually defeated by the Shoe Thieves 3-2 and eliminated from the Playoffs.

The Steaks did not receive any Blessings at the end of Season 2.

Season 3

The Steaks faced tough competition in the Good League in Season 3. The Steaks had not been beefed up by any Season 2 Blessings, and 3 of their opponents in the Good League had received the powerful 4th Strike. The Steaks had a raw start to the season, going 0-3 in their first 3 games. After 28 games, the Steak's record was a pathetic 11-17. Many critics raked the Steaks over the coals, declaring the team burnt out, past their prime, or just plain cooked.

However, as the season progressed, the Steaks proved that they still had a little sizzle left in them. The team avoided the allergic reactions and incinerations that hamstrung many other teams during the season, and gradually warmed up and began bringing home the bacon for eager Steaks fans. With fan-favorite hitter Marco Stink gaining a star and a half after a peanut-assisted Yummy Reaction, the Steaks began to develop a depth of talent on the field that rivaled their depth of flavor off of it.

Near the end of Season 3, the Steaks found themselves in a spicy battle with the Yellowstone Magic for the final Good League postseason qualifier position. Where other, softer teams might have crumbled, the well-seasoned Steaks proved they could take the heat, smoking the Los Angeles Tacos 5-1 to finish the season 55-44 and make the cut for the postseason over the 53-46 Magic. Well Done indeed!

The Steaks were defeated 3-1 in the first round of the Season 3 Postseason by the New York Millennials.

The Steaks did not receive any blessings in the Season 3 election.

Season 4

The Steaks faced tough competition in the Good League in Season 4. The Steaks had not been beefed up by any Season 3 Blessings, and the Chicago Firefighters received several key boosts to improve their team. The Steaks had a raw start to the season, going 3-6 in their first 9 games, during which Thomas Kirby left the team through a Feedback incident in Game 4, replaced by Paula Mason. After 34 games, the Steak's record was a pathetic 14-20. Many critics raked the Steaks over the coals, declaring the team burnt out, past their prime, or just plain cooked.

However, as the season progressed, the Steaks proved that they still had a little sizzle left in them. New team member Paula Mason became a powerhouse hitter in her new home, and though Stevenson Monstera was tragically incinerated during Game 50, his replacement, Combs Estes, began performing well above their star rating and, according to reports, received a nod from Coach in their very first game. The Steaks began to develop a depth of talent on the field that rivaled their depth of flavor off of it.

Near the end of Season 4, the Steaks carved through their opponents, going on a 14-1 run at one point. The well-seasoned Steaks proved they could take the heat, keeping the fires burning until the very end to finish the season 56-43 and make the cut for the postseason as the third-best team in the Good League. Well Done indeed!

The Steaks were defeated 3-1 in the first round of the Season 4 Postseason by the New York Millennials.

The Steaks did not receive any blessings in the Season 4 election.       

Season 5

The Steaks faced tough competition in the Good League in Season 5. The Steaks had not been beefed up by any Season 4 Blessings, and the San Francisco Lovers and Kansas City Breath Mints both received key boosts to improve their pitching. In addition, the Steaks' ace pitcher, Leach Herman, suffered a significant drop in performance, while Sebastian Telephone seemed to thrive following the Alternate Reality Decree. The Steaks had a raw start to the season, going 2-7 in their first 9 games. After 30 games, the Steak's record was a pathetic 11-19. Many critics raked the Steaks over the coals, declaring the team burnt out, past their prime, or just plain cooked.

However, as the season progressed, the Steaks proved that they still had a little sizzle left in them. Both Marco Stink and Paula Mason shone in the lineup, and Conner Haley found himself winning several close games thanks to his teammates' bats and a few key last-inning pitches. The Steaks began to develop a depth of talent on the field that rivaled their depth of flavor off of it.

Near the end of Season 5, the Steaks found themselves in a spicy battle with the Kansas City Breath Mints for the final Good League postseason qualifier position. Where other, softer teams might have crumbled, the well-seasoned Steaks proved they could take the heat, sweeping their final series against the Breckenridge Jazz Hands to finish the season 51-48 and make the cut for the postseason over the 51-48 Breath Mints thanks to Divine Favor. Well Done indeed!

The Steaks were defeated 3-1 in the first round of the Season 5 Postseason by the San Francisco Lovers.

The Steaks received the Mutual Aid and The Plan? Hit From The Mound blessings in the Season β5 Election. Further, as a result of the High Filter Decree, the Steaks moved from the Lawful Good division to the Mild High division.

Season 6

The Steaks' sixth season started their first season in the Mild League's High Division with a flare-up of production, with their batters delivering a three-game sweep of the Canada Moist Talkers in their first series. Their performance mellowed after that, with their offense delivering consistent production and their defense and pitching occasionally letting them down. Through the first two-thirds of the season, the Steaks had neither a winning streak nor a losing streak over three games long. Just like with their grilling, the Steaks were looking for a nice, even sear.

New arrival August Sky proved to be a key member of the batting order, logging the highest batting average on the team at 0.318. Conner Haley, finally given an opportunity at batting instead of pitching, delivered 33 home runs for the Steaks, third-most in the League for the season. August Mina saw less success in her new role as a pitcher, but was a solid replacement for Haley's pitching, earning a respectable 9-11 record with a 5.34 ERA against a tough set of Mild High opponents.

On Days 61 and 62, the Blooddrain gurgled in the Steaks' favor, as Cory Ross siphoned defensive ability from Elijah Valenzuela from the Hawai'i Fridays and Summers Pony siphoned baserunning ability from Karato Bean, also from the Fridays. The Steaks experienced no other weather events during Season 6.

From Day 70 to Day 78, the Steaks went on a five-game winning streak and a four-game losing streak, respectively. By Day 79, critics were questioning if the Steaks had overextended themselves during the winning streak and were exhausted as a result. The Steaks, in an apparent effort to prove their critics wrong, scored 12 runs in the first three innings of their 79th game, running the score up to 19-7 over the Canada Moist Talkers by the bottom of the 9th inning. Those critics' concerns were almost justified as the Moist Talkers brought in six runs in the inning before Ronan Jaylee finally shut the grill lid, earning the Steaks a 19-13 victory and ending their longest losing streak of the season.

The rest of the Steaks' season proceeded without significant incident, as the four Mild League playoff spots had been all but secured by the top teams. The Steaks finished the season with a 48-51 record, fourth in the division and fifth in the Mild League by virtue of Divine Favor. They finished five games behind the Seattle Garages, who claimed the fourth and final playoff spot. This marked the first time in ILB history that the Steaks did not make the playoffs.

The Steaks scored at least one run in every game during Season 6, making them the only team never shut out during the season. They join the Season 3 New York Millennials and the Season 3 San Francisco Lovers as the only teams to achieve such a meaty feat, and are the first team to do so and miss the playoffs.

The Steaks received the Collect Call and Rate and Review, brought to you by The Multitude Podcast Collective blessings in the Season β6 Election.

Season 9

Following the Season β9 Elections, the Steaks were subjected to Targeted Shame and the Fifth Base.

Season 11

In the Season β11 elections, the Steaks were assigned the Arcana IIII The Emperor.

Season 12

In the Season β12 elections, the Steaks received the Wills Alternate, which called Gallup Crueller's Alternate, and Infuse, which boosted the combined star rating for Leach Herman.

Season 13

In the Season β13 elections, the Steaks received the wills Foreshadow, which brought forth Shadows player Zephyr McCloud in a swap for Sam Scandal, and Infuse, which boosted the combined star rating for Cory Ross.

Season 14

In the Season β14 elections, the Steaks received the wills Foreshadow, which brought forth Sam Scandal in a swap for Kit Adamses, and Infuse, which boosted the combined star rating for Ronan Jaylee.

Season 15

In the Season β15 elections, the Steaks received the wills Move, sending Gallup Crueller to the Shadows, and Plunder trading Sixpack Dogwalker to the Canada Moist Talkers in exchange for PolkaDot Patterson. The Steaks also won the Clutch Up blessing, granting Allison Abbott the High Pressure modification for the following season.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

This section will contain a brief history of the Steaks, once they have one. For more information, please see Dallas Steaks/History.

Stadium

The George Fourman Stadium was built in Arlington, Texas on what used to be a Glolf course. The stadium is constructed in the shape of a ribeye steak.

Staff

Fan Culture

For more on the Dallas Steaks' fan culture, see Dallas Steaks/Fan Culture

Fans of the Dallas Steaks are most commonly known as Meatheads, Grillers, Cowpokes, and Grilldads. They pride themselves on their acceptance of just about anyone, with no regard for gender, race, religion or sexual orientation, so long as they enjoy a good cookout (actual steak is optional).

Many Steaks fans support Blittle League through the Texas Blittle League.

The Collective Dadconscious

For more info, see The Collective Dadconscious

One of the great elemental forces of the universe, the Collective Dadconscious is a key part of the Dallas Steaks' fans. It permeates through all in attendance at a home game, stirring within them a desire for good puns, an ice cold drink, and cooking a steak Just Right.

Underleague Affiliate Teams

Triple-A: fanleagues:Mesquite Cutlets

Double-A: fanleagues:Ponder Osas

Single-A: fanleagues:Alma X's

Fan Works

Also see, Dallas Steaks/Fan Art.

Dallas Steaks 🥩
Players Batters
Pitchers
Shadows
  • None
BuriedIngrid Alfredo · Oscar Dollie · Yams Sokol · Marco Stink
Former · Full List
Stats Season1 · 2 · 3 · 4
Ballpark George Fourman Stadium
Community Lore
Staff The Grill Master · Coach
History Dallas Steaks' History
Fan Culture 📣 · Fan Works 💌 · Tlopps Cards 🃏
Well Done.


⚾   Internet League Blaseball Teams   ⚾
Chaotic Evil
Hawai'i Fridays 🏝️ · Mexico City Wild Wings 🍗 · Seattle Garages 🎸 · Yellowstone Magic ✨ · Ohio Worms 🐌 · Tokyo Lift 🏋️‍
Awful Evil
Atlantis Georgias 🔱 · Breckenridge Jazz Hands 👐 · Chicago Firefighters 🔥 · Core Mechanics 🛠️ · Dallas Steaks 🥩 · Houston Spies 🕵️
Chaotic Good
Boston Flowers 🌹 · Canada Moist Talkers 🗣️ · Kansas City Breath Mints 🍬 · LA Unlimited Tacos 🌮 · New York Millennials 📱 · San Francisco Lovers 💋
Awful Good
Baltimore Crabs 🦀 · Charleston Shoe Thieves 👟 · Hades Tigers 🐅 · Hellmouth Sunbeams 🌞 · Miami Dale 🚤 · Philly Pies 🥧
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