DD

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COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

DD (commonly thought to stand for Doordash Driver or Delivery Driver) is the Baltimore Crabs’ personal food delivery driver, held on retainer as a staff member of the Crabitat.

History

Not much is known about DD, including her legal name, but she is a college student in the Baltimore area. When approached for comment by Baltimore Sun reporters, Crabs pitcher Alston Cerveza had only positive things to say about “DD’s punctuality”, her “propensity for delivering even the strangest of requests”, and “the good fortune [the Crabs] had in poaching her from her previous place of employment”.

DD is known to drive a silver 2004 Toyota Corolla (which, despite being given multiple Baltimore Crabs bumper stickers, does not bear a single one), and can often be seen making drop-offs at the Crabitat after hours. She is believed to occasionally deliver more than just food, but has declined to comment publicly on any of the team’s orders.

Orders for the Baltimore Crabs

The latest items logged in the “Delivery” section of the Crabitat’s annual expense report are featured below, and are updated every time the app refreshes, though all known entries can be found here.

2 dozen glazed donuts, 1 black coffee

2 baguettes (stale)

5 3lb boxes iodized salt

1 7.5 lb container Old Bay, 1 box firecrackers, 2 rolls paper towels

1 large cookie cake with “WE SORRY KEN” written in frosting

As many plastic fairy figurines that can fit in DD’s pockets inconspicuously

1 carton strawberries, 1 raw chicken

1 can whipped cream, 1 can Old Bay, 1 hot chocolate mix

6 Clhristmas mugs that read “I’m the reason there’s a Naughty List” (ordered in July)

1 jar of pickles, hold the pickles.

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