Coolname Galvanic/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Coolname Galvanic has 5 Rumors written about so far.
Coolname Galvanic/IF-1667
The waters beyond this point are uncharted, tales from distant shores echoed back into our reality.
Background
The following accounts can be traced to a single leather-bound journal originally found in a locked wooden chest alongside a sextant-like device of indeterminate origin and a shell that matches no known species of mollusc. The chest was located in a storage room in the Legscraper’s lower levels that was described as “smelling faintly of the sea”. Subsequent attempts to locate and navigate to said room have been unsuccessful thus far. The journal details the exploits of the crew of a large sailing vessel, The Tokyo Adrift, descriptions of which are largely consistent with mid-17th century galleons.
With The Tokyo Adrift
Voyages on the Immateria Seas are rife with dangers untold especially to the unsuspecting sailor. Aside from the expected difficulties associated with months-long sea voyages, the journal outlines the hazards posed by localised weather events endemic to the region. Of these, the entries describe Rogue Waves to be among the most feared and dreaded by any experienced seafarer, seemingly coinciding with the new moon (or possibly lunar eclipses; as one entry describes, “darkness fell, as if the moon herself were afraid of what was to come", however whether this refers to an ecliptical event or cloud cover is the subject of much debate). Rogue Waves were known to cause heavy damage to the hulls of sailing vessels, but more significant was their tendency to sweep members of the crew away without a trace, only for the ships to find a fresh stowaway on board. Yet another report in the journal describes sightings of mysterious entities contemporaneously appearing with rogue wave events. The journal collectively refers to these entities as “Arbiters”, and while references are sparse and secondhand, they are often described as vaguely humanoid with glowing eyes and constantly dripping with Immateria.
A sailor met by the writer while on shore leave shared the following:
I saw it rise from the seas, like Davy Jones himself come to take joy in our misery. The figure watched as our whole damn ship nearly capsized. Johnson never stood a chance. Then, it produced a small book from its cloak, made a single tally mark and directly locked eyes with me before sinking back beneath the waves.
Descriptions of Coolname Galvanic share many similarities to that of these arbiters. The writer never received verbal confirmation of this assertion from Galvanic, but describes seeing “flashes of light from behind its large black eyeglasses, especially when tempers flared”. Galvanic was consistently depicted as wearing eyeglasses, the lenses of which appear to have been made of smokey quartz or a polarising crystal similar in composition to navigator Yusef Fenestrate’s fingers. A crew member grabbed by Galvanic for stability when the vessel was rocked by large waves was surprised to find “ring shaped marks left on the skin where contact was made, similar to the skin of an octopus’ prey”.
Galvanic joined the crew of The Tokyo Adrift following a near miss with a Rogue Wave. It was found washed up on the quarterdeck whereupon it promptly stood up, adjusted “a comically large tricorne hat” and introduced itself to Captain Strongbody, beginning negotiations for a contract of its employment. Following this event, Galvanic managed the ledgers of the ship, working alongside its quartermaster, showing a remarkable understanding of maritime and trade law and an ability to draft watertight contracts.
The question of Galvanic’s lineage would arise again when numerous [REDACTED] approaching the vessel and it was forced to employ its [REDACTED], defending [REDACTED] further damage. Despite the apparent lack of actual seawater (the seas are described as being composed of Immateria), the last page of the journal is heavily water-damaged and rendered unreadable.Coolname Galvanic/IF-36.952
Background
Coolname Galvanic joined the newly formed Tokyo Lift at their inception, shortly after the fall of the Shelled One during Season 10. It promptly found a niche in the pitching rotation and, despite being registered as a one-star pitcher, immediately began pitching its ruthless heart out (as best it could without letting on exactly how much special training it had been given).
Although it performed very well despite its initial stats, it didn’t acclimate as well to the team at first. While most of the team seemed relatively close-knit, Galvanic consistently stayed on the outskirts of the team, choosing to forgo interaction with almost everyone. Its isolated nature led some fans to speculate on its identity, with some pointing out that its one consistent fashion choice of mirrored sunglasses could be used to hide the glowing white eyes of a rogue umpire.
This is of course nonsense -- Coolname Galvanic is not a rogue umpire, and there’s a litany of evidence to support this. While rogue umpires seem at large to be completely nameless, Galvanic collects names to a ridiculous degree (“Coolname” is its placeholder name; it will frequently swap out the placeholder for a variety of improbable but extremely enjoyable names). It also forgoes the traditional Lift uniform in place of whatever the most ridiculous fashion allowed on the field is. While it dislikes the spotlight, its collection of names and extremely unique fashion choices draw far more attention to it than any (rogue) rogue umpire would surely be comfortable with.
Galvanic has since grown somewhat closer to its team; while it is still a very private person, it’s far more friendly with other members of the Lift than it was when it first joined the team; in particular, it seems to have taken up a friendship with Gerund Pantheocide. It enjoys playing rhythm games and exploring the many endless halls of the Legscraper in its free time.Coolname Galvanic/IF-4.585
A translated English version can be found in the source of this page.
内部使用のみ
ILB職員の退職面接
氏名：█████
年齢：██
生年月日：第██回██日██XX年
故郷：さいたま市、埼玉県、日本
性別：男
採用：第██回██日██XX年
退職：第１０回投票日XX年
部署：選手開発
職位：リーグ内教育
客体：ILBでの役割は何でしたか？
主体：人材開発。イヤ、選手開発にされました。新人の文書を管理しました。
客体：どんな新選手ですか？
主体：たいてい焼却されたものの代わりをする選手でした。リーグの登録を管理しました。既に わかるはずではないでしょうか？
客体：質問をしないでください。どの位ILBで働きましたか？
主体：██年間。
客体：なかなか長い時間ですね。お疲れ様でした。
主体：【卑語のために削除されました】
客体：退職のことに続きましょう。退職理由は何でしたか？
主体：リーグに加入してる人と出会った。
客体：よく新しい選手と出会いますね？
主体：あのようじゃない。出会って友達になってしまった。あの人の好きなコーヒーの飲み方を知るようになってしまった。趣味も希望も夢も。そのあと、自分でリーグに加入することにすると聞いてしまった。実は、喧嘩してしまった。危ないと言ったけど、█████ はだれでも危ないと言った。オレは、これはできないと気づかせた。
客体：どうして？
主体：この██年間人々を死に送ってしまった。もうできない。█████と出会って人を死におくってたと気づかせて…ひどいよ。紙に書いてある名前だけじゃなくて、人間だよ。
客体：今やましくなるのは誠に大変ですね。
主体：もう分かってるのに仕方がない。
客体：選手開発でいい経験がありましたか？
主体：もちろん。悪い経験だけでは不可能。オレは仕事が上手だし、いい選手を見つけたし。
客体：自慢はありますか？
主体：何？
客体：したことに自慢はありますか？
主体：オレ...自慢かどうかわからない。きっとあった。仕事は上手なことにある。それ以外、自慢がない。自慢を感じられない。
客体：契約通り、ILBからとわにやめることはできないと分かっていますね？
主体：分かった。
客体：まだ知るけど、東京にある本拠地の新しいチームがリーグに加入します。先発ローテーションに入ることになりました。
主体：関節に悪いん。
客体：ローテーションではなければ、影に入るしかありません。
主体：じゃあ、投球は結構。
客体：ILBでは「Coolname Galvanic」と呼ばれています。質問はありますか？
主体：どうしてその名前？
客体：「クールな名前がほしい」と言いました。
主体：うん。試みが無意味だと分かるべきだったね。
Coolname Galvanic/IF-42.104
Background
Stories from Coolname Galvanic’s time as a former rogue umpire are few and far between, so much so that some fans still express skepticism that it ever was a rogue umpire. However, there is some official documentation proving that Galvanic was an ILB employee in some capacity. When asked, Galvanic said that it joined active play to get away from its prior job, and has refused to explicitly say what that position was.
On the Tokyo Lift
Galvanic joined the newly formed Tokyo Lift at their inception, shortly after the fall of the Shelled One during Season 10. It promptly found a niche in the pitching rotation and, despite being registered as a one-star pitcher, immediately began pitching its ruthless heart out. Although it performed well, it didn’t acclimate to the team well, mostly choosing to stay to the outskirts of the social life.
Galvanic’s first friendship on the team was with Gerund Pantheocide, whose excitability made a perfect counterbalance to Galvanic’s placidness. Through Pantheocide, it made friends with the rest of the team, most notably the “Brokyo” clique alongside Pantheocide, Yusef Fenestrate, Grollis Zephyr, and Val Hitherto.
After several consecutive seasons as a pitcher (and gaining a reputation as a “bet-breaker” for fans who bet against it), Galvanic was sent to the Shadows via Fax Machine. Galvanic, who deals with hypermobility, expressed relief at the time to take a break and let its joints recover. The break was short-lived, and a week later it joined the team’s lineup via Voicemail. It still claimed this was better for its joints, and has become a staple of the lineup.
Within the Lift, Galvanic had a reputation for preferring rules and structure. In an interview, it noted that “that’s why I stayed a pitcher for so long; it was hell on my joints, but I had command of the field.” During the events of Season 24, Galvanic was visibly stressed at all times by the lack of control. Nonetheless, its wisdom about the inner workings of the ILB granted the team better insight and better luck as they navigated to the Horizon.
Appearance
Galvanic, on first glance (and indeed on most glances) is human. It has Marfan syndrome, meaning that it is tall, skinny, and has hypermobile joints; it’s also Albino and is very pale. Galvanic wears eclectic clothing, preferring long sleeves, long pants, broad-brimmed sunhats, and gloves. Whether those clothing items form a cohesive outfit depends on the day. It typically wears its own clothing instead of a Lift uniform, and the uniform it does wear uses natural fibers rather than synthetic, due to a sensitivity.
Galvanic also wears mirrored sunglasses with almost every outfit. Some fans have speculated that it’s trying to hide its eyes.
Personal Life
Galvanic is Japanese and resistant to the idea of gender; in English it uses it/its pronouns, and in Japanese it prefers an informal conversational style and refers to itself with orae/omae pronouns. Galvanic is also autistic, and has sensitivities to texture (particularly clothing and food) and physical touch.
For several decades Galvanic has lived with teammate Yusef Fenestrate. The two went on a singular date to a local Costco before realizing they were both aromantic, and breaking up amicably in favor of being close friends. Fenestrate is one of few allowed to touch Galvanic, and Galvanic has converted to Islam after living with Fenestrate.Coolname Galvanic/IF-50.307
Background
Coolname Galvanic is something of an enigma even to their teammates. Galvanic is happy to play up to this air of mystery with their ever-present sunglasses, often archaic speech patterns and occasional lapses into a dubious Romanian accent.
Given their pale skin, white hair and aversion to sunlight - using Factor 250 sun lotion even on overcast days - it is widely supposed that Galvanic has albinism. Some within the splort whisper of something more sinister. In low light a red glow is seen to spill out from behind Galvanic's sunglasses. It is possible that they were once an umpire?
This rumour stems from a simple misheard aside. Galvanic is not "an umpire", present or former, but a namepire.
Namepires (also "nompyrs") are an ancient line of beings who feed upon the personal nouns of their unsuspecting victims, leeching onomastic energy from monikers, handles and soubriquets. In extremis a namepire may completely consume a high-energy name like "Midori Stegosaurus" or "Fingerguns McGee", leaving the previous owner forever nameless or labouring under a low-energy name such as "Debbie".
It is easy to see why beings with this hunger would be drawn to Blaseball, but Galvanic is only the second confirmed namepire to have played the splort. Sweetname Voltaic spent three seasons with The Centreville Blaseball Team, by the end of which 70% of players in the division were listed as "Dave Smith".
Galvanic, however, claims to represent a new, socially-responsible movement within the namepire community. These younger namepires choose to graze sustainably on the neural impulses of nearby individuals, leaving their targets temporarily unable to recall the name of a familiar person but otherwise unharmed. This restraint does not prevent Galvanic from trying on extravagant names for size.
On the Tokyo Lift
Galvanic’s first friendship on the team was with Gerund Pantheocide, who was fascinated by Galvanic’s life as a namepire. Through Pantheocide, it made friends with the rest of the team, most notably the “Brokyo” clique alongside Pantheocide, Yusef Fenestrate, the Lazarus Pit steward, and that time traveler guy.
After several consecutive seasons as a pitcher (and gaining a reputation as a “bet-breaker” for fans who bet against it), Galvanic was sent to the Shadows via Fax Machine. Galvanic, who deals with hypermobility, expressed relief about taking a break and letting its joints recover. The break was short-lived, and a week later it joined the team’s lineup via Voicemail. Galvanic was reportedly excited to meet more players and learn more names.
Appearance
Galvanic, on first glance (and indeed on most glances) is human. It has Marfan syndrome, meaning that it is tall, skinny, and has hypermobile joints; it’s also Albino and is very pale. Galvanic wears eclectic clothing, preferring long sleeves, long pants, broad-brimmed sunhats, and gloves. Whether those clothing items form a cohesive outfit depends on the day. It typically wears its own clothing instead of a Lift uniform, and the uniform it does wear uses natural fibers rather than synthetic, due to a sensitivity.
Personal Life
Galvanic is Japanese and resistant to the idea of gender; in English it uses it/its pronouns, and in Japanese it prefers an informal conversational style and refers to itself with orae/omae pronouns. Galvanic is also autistic, and has sensitivities to texture (particularly clothing and food) and physical touch.
For several decades Galvanic has lived with teammate Yusef Fenestrate. The two went on a singular date to a local Costco before realizing they were both aromantic, and breaking up amicably in favor of being close friends. Fenestrate is one of few allowed to touch Galvanic, and Galvanic has converted to Islam after living with Fenestrate.
Galvanic is reportedly a fan of country singer Porter Wagoner. It enjoys aquatic sports, including swimming and water polo, and has been trying to make an aquatic sport of its own, to mixed results.
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