Comfort Septemberish
Comfort Septemberish is a player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. They are one of the teams best hitters and are regarded as one of the most important parts of the team thanks to several iconic plays.
Little is known about Comfort's life prior to the First Pitch and the advent of Blaseball, least of all by Comfort themself.
Comfort, when asked about gender just said "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK." They are fine with people using They/Them
Playing Career
Season 1
Throughout most of Season One, Comfort was reliably the team's best hitter, despite having very little understanding of what, in fact, Blaseball was. During the first couple of months of the season, they were acting largely on instinct, a Pavlovian response formed by being able to use the slips of paper given for hitting the Blaseball. This paper, which Comfort now understands to be currency, was used to procure full versions of the empty boxes and packages which they had used to learn language while roaming the streets of Colorado. Slowly, they began to understand the concepts of victory and defeat, and when the dots finally connected that more victories meant more currency, Comfort went on a tear, leading the Jazz Hands to a division title. Though the Jazz Hands were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual league champion Philly Pies, Comfort's rookie season has led fans to believe there's nowhere to go but up, especially considering that Comfort still only sort of understand what Blaseball is.
Season 2
Comfort was critical in the Jazz Hands' playoff run of Season 2. In a critical Game 5 against the Hades Tigers, Comfort stole home base, tying the game at 4-4 and putting teammate Aldon Cashmoney at ease. Cashmoney would then score a two-run home run to put the Jazz Hands in the lead and into the second round of the playoffs. Comfort would steal home base again in the series against the Philly Pies, but the Jazz Hands were swept 3-0.
Season 3
Comfort's performance during the regular season seemed to slump, as did the rest of the team's as they scraped into playoffs with a 50-49 record.
Personal Life
Comfort appears to have no memory whatsoever of a life prior to a few months before The First Pitch. They had been living in those months as a drifter, with zero initial knowledge of life, or even awareness of self.
Fortuitously for fans of the Jazz Hands, Comfort stumbled upon the squad warming up for the first day of Spring Training. As they watched the players take batting practice, they began to mimic their actions, using a discarded O-Cedar EasyWring mop handle to send crabapples from a nearby tree hundreds of feet through the morning sky. When coaxed into the actual baseball diamond by their now teammates, using ripped up pieces of beef jerky, Comfort proved to be just as successful hammering Blaseballs, bellowing "DEEP CLEANING MADE EASY" with every home run. Their teammates would later learn that this was the slogan of the EasyWring mop.
As previously mentioned, most of Comfort's language skill was acquired through studying refuse found on the streets, which is why they often speak in advertising catchphrases. The moniker Comfort was self-given, after asking a teammate if there was a word to describe what they felt after consuming a snack sized bag of "BIGGER BOLDER THICKER" Ranch Dipped Hot Wings flavored JACKED Doritos and then laying on a Sleep Number Mattress, TIME Magazine's most highly rated mattress of 2012.
The last name is the result of a comedy of errors amongst the staff at the Breckenridge branch of Social Security, where Comfort was directed to procure a legal identity so that they could be eligible to sign a contract with the Jazz Hands. An extremely hung-over government employee asked Comfort for a birth date. Providing as much information as they had available, Comfort replied "Septemberish". The error was compounded when the employee, aptly named █████ █████████, placed this information in the last name field on the document.
Comfort has no known age, however an estimate of 27 years old has been offered by a scientist who cut off one of Comfort's toes and counted the rings.
