Difference between revisions of "Comfort Septemberish"

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In the playoffs of [[Season 2]], game 5 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before [[Aldon Cashmoney]] hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.
 
In the playoffs of [[Season 2]], game 5 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before [[Aldon Cashmoney]] hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
  
 
Septemberish is regarded as one of the most important parts of the team thanks to several iconic plays.  
 
Septemberish is regarded as one of the most important parts of the team thanks to several iconic plays.  

Revision as of 21:16, 8 August 2020


Comfort Septemberish is a lineup player for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands. Septemberish has been with the Jazz Hands since Season 1. They are known as one of the team's best hitters.

Internet League Blaseball Career

In the playoffs of Season 2, game 5 against the Hades Tigers, Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before Aldon Cashmoney hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.

Septemberish is regarded as one of the most important parts of the team thanks to several iconic plays.

Little is known about Comfort's life prior to the First Pitch and the advent of Blaseball, least of all by Septemberish themself.

Septemberish, when asked about gender just said "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK." They are fine with people using they/them pronouns.

Playing Career

Season 1

Throughout most of Season One, Septemberish was reliably the team's best hitter, despite having very little understanding of what, in fact, Blaseball was. During the first couple of months of the season, they were acting largely on instinct, a Pavlovian response formed by being able to use the slips of paper given for hitting the Blaseball. This paper, which Septemberish now understands to be currency, was used to procure full versions of the empty boxes and packages which they had used to learn language while roaming the streets of Colorado. Slowly, they began to understand the concepts of victory and defeat, and when the dots finally connected that more victories meant more currency, Septemberish went on a tear, leading the Jazz Hands to a division title. Though the Jazz Hands were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual league champion Philly Pies, Comfort's rookie season has led fans to believe there's nowhere to go but up, especially considering that Septemberish still only sort of understand what Blaseball is.

Season 2

Septemberish was critical in the Jazz Hands' playoff run of Season 2. In a critical Game 5 against the Hades Tigers, Septemberish stole home base, tying the game at 4-4 and putting teammate Cashmoney at ease. Cashmoney would then score a two-run home run to put the Jazz Hands in the lead and into the second round of the playoffs. Septemberish would steal home base again in the series against the Philly Pies, but the Jazz Hands were swept 3-0.

Season 3

Septemberish's performance during Season 3 seemed to slump, as did the rest of the team's as they scraped into playoffs with a 50-49 record.

Personal Life

Septemberish appears to have no memory whatsoever of a life prior to a few months before The First Pitch. They had been living in those months as a drifter, with zero initial knowledge of life, or even awareness of self.

Fortuitously for fans of the Jazz Hands, Septemberish stumbled upon the squad warming up for the first day of Spring Training. As they watched the players take batting practice, they began to mimic their actions, using a discarded O-Cedar EasyWring mop handle to send crabapples from a nearby tree hundreds of feet through the morning sky. When coaxed into the actual baseball diamond by their now teammates, using ripped up pieces of beef jerky, Septemberish proved to be just as successful hammering Blaseballs, bellowing "DEEP CLEANING MADE EASY" with every home run. Their teammates would later learn that this was the slogan of the EasyWring mop.

As previously mentioned, most of Septemberish's language skill was acquired through studying refuse found on the streets, which is why they often speak in advertising catchphrases. The moniker Comfort was self-given, after asking a teammate if there was a word to describe what they felt after consuming a snack sized bag of "BIGGER BOLDER THICKER" Ranch Dipped Hot Wings flavored JACKED Doritos and then laying on a Sleep Number Mattress, TIME Magazine's most highly rated mattress of 2012.

The last name is the result of a comedy of errors amongst the staff at the Breckenridge branch of Social Security, where Septemberish was directed to procure a legal identity so that they could be eligible to sign a contract with the Jazz Hands. An extremely hung-over government employee asked Septemberish for a birth date. Providing as much information as they had available, Septemberish replied "Septemberish". The error was compounded when the employee, aptly named █████ █████████, placed this information in the last name field on the document.

Septemberish has no known age, however an estimate of 27 years old has been offered by a scientist who cut off one of Septemberish's toes and counted the rings.