Difference between revisions of "Comfort Septemberish"

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<!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY -->
 
<!-- IN GAME NAMES ONLY -->
 
| alias=  
 
| alias=  
| team=Houston Spies
+
| team=[[Houston Spies]]
| former=Breckenridge Jazz Hands
+
| former=[[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]]
 
| status=Active
 
| status=Active
| dates=
+
| dates=Jul 20, 2020–present
 
<!-- Records: Statistical Information -->
 
<!-- Records: Statistical Information -->
| batting={{Star Rating|4}}  
+
| batting={{Star Rating|4.5}}  
 
| pitching={{Star Rating|1}}  
 
| pitching={{Star Rating|1}}  
 
| baserunning={{Star Rating|4.5}}  
 
| baserunning={{Star Rating|4.5}}  
| defense={{Star Rating|3}}
+
| defense={{Star Rating|2.5}}
 
| modifications=
 
| modifications=
<!-- These are taken from the pop-up box on clicking the player -->
 
 
| item=None
 
| item=None
 
| armor=None
 
| armor=None
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| blood=H₂O  
 
| blood=H₂O  
 
| fate=8
 
| fate=8
| soulscream=IAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHIIAAAEAUAIHI
+
| soulscream=IEEEIIEEEIIEUAOEEUAOEEUAAAHUAAAHUXIAAIXIAAIXXAAIEXAAIEXAIIIUAIIIUAOUAAUOUAAUOAAAAAAAAAAA
<!-- For community lore info box fields, see Template:Player/doc -->
 
 
| pronouns=The Snack That Smiles Back (They/Them accepted)
 
| pronouns=The Snack That Smiles Back (They/Them accepted)
 
| instrument=Advertising jingle
 
| instrument=Advertising jingle
 
| likes=
 
| likes=
 
| dislikes=
 
| dislikes=
| player_twitter=@ComfortSept
+
| player_twitter={{Twitter|name=ComfortSept}}
}}
+
| uuid  =d8ee256f-e3d0-46cb-8c77-b1f88d8c9df9}}
'''Comfort Septemberish''' is a lineup player for the [[Houston Spies]] and has been with the Spies since [[Season 6]], Day 41 after replacing [[Collins Melon]] due to [[Feedback]]. Septemberish joined the [[ILB]] as a batter for the [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] in [[Season 1]]. They are currently the Spies' best hitter.
+
'''Comfort Septemberish''' is a lineup player for the [[Houston Spies]] and has been with the Spies since [[Season 6]], Day 41 after replacing [[Collins Melon]] due to [[Feedback]]. Septemberish joined the [[ILB]] as a batter for the [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] in [[Season 1]].  
  
 
== Official League Records ==
 
== Official League Records ==
In the playoffs of [[Season 2#Postseason|Postseason 2]], Day 104 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before [[Aldon Cashmoney]] hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.
+
On [[Season 2#Postseason|Season 2]], Day 104 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before [[Aldon Cashmoney]] hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.
 +
 
 +
During the [[Coffee Cup]], Septemberish played for [[Club de Calf]] as a lineup player.
  
 
== History ==
 
== History ==
 
{{Community Lore}}
 
{{Community Lore}}
  
Septemberish is regarded as one of the most important parts of the team thanks to several iconic plays.  
+
Little is known about Septemberish's life prior to the [[First Pitch]] and the advent of Blaseball, least of all by Septemberish themself.  
  
Little is known about Comfort's life prior to the [[First Pitch]] and the advent of Blaseball, least of all by Septemberish themself.  
+
Septemberish, when asked about gender just said "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK." They are fine with people using they/them pronouns.
  
Septemberish, when asked about gender just said "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK." They are fine with people using they/them pronouns.
+
==Playing Career ==
 +
===Season 1===
 +
Throughout most of [[Season One]], Septemberish was reliably the team's best hitter, despite having very little understanding of what, in fact, Blaseball was. During the first couple of months of the season, they were acting largely on instinct, a Pavlovian response formed by being able to use the slips of paper given for hitting the Blaseball. This paper, which Septemberish now understands to be currency, was used to procure full versions of the empty boxes and packages which they had used to learn language while roaming the streets of Colorado. Slowly, they began to understand the concepts of victory and defeat, and when the dots finally connected that more victories meant more currency, Septemberish went on a tear, leading the Jazz Hands to a division title. Though the Jazz Hands were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual league champion [[Philly Pies]], Septemberish's rookie season has led fans to believe there's nowhere to go but up, especially considering that Septemberish still only sort of understand what Blaseball is.
  
== Playing Career ==
+
=== Season 2===
 +
Septemberish was a key player in the Jazz Hands' playoff run of [[Season 2]]. In a critical Game 5 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish stole home base, tying the game at 4-4 and putting teammate Cashmoney at ease. Cashmoney would then score a two-run home run to put the Jazz Hands in the lead and into the second round of the playoffs. Septemberish would steal home base again in the series against the Philly Pies, but the Jazz Hands were swept 3-0.
  
=== Season 1 ===
+
===Season 3===
Throughout most of [[Season One]], Septemberish was reliably the team's best hitter, despite having very little understanding of what, in fact, Blaseball was. During the first couple of months of the season, they were acting largely on instinct, a Pavlovian response formed by being able to use the slips of paper given for hitting the Blaseball. This paper, which Septemberish now understands to be currency, was used to procure full versions of the empty boxes and packages which they had used to learn language while roaming the streets of Colorado. Slowly, they began to understand the concepts of victory and defeat, and when the dots finally connected that more victories meant more currency, Septemberish went on a tear, leading the Jazz Hands to a division title. Though the Jazz Hands were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual league champion [[Philly Pies]], Comfort's rookie season has led fans to believe there's nowhere to go but up, especially considering that Septemberish still only sort of understand what Blaseball is.
+
Septemberish's performance during [[Season 3]] seemed to slump, as did the rest of the team's as they scraped into playoffs with a 50-49 record.
  
=== Season 2 ===
+
===Season 6===
Septemberish was critical in the Jazz Hands' playoff run of [[Season 2]]. In a critical Game 5 against the [[Hades Tigers]], Septemberish stole home base, tying the game at 4-4 and putting teammate Cashmoney at ease. Cashmoney would then score a two-run home run to put the Jazz Hands in the lead and into the second round of the playoffs. Septemberish would steal home base again in the series against the Philly Pies, but the Jazz Hands were swept 3-0.
+
During Season 6 Day 41, Comfort Septemberish was caught in the [[Feedback]] with former [[Houston Spies]] player [[Collins Melon]], moving from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands to the Houston Spies. Later that season, during a game between the Jazz Hands and the Spies, [[Randall Marijuana]] was incinerated during an at-bat by Septemberish (they went on to hit a triple and scored on the next play).
  
=== Season 3 ===
+
==Personal Life==
Septemberish's performance during [[Season 3]] seemed to slump, as did the rest of the team's as they scraped into playoffs with a 50-49 record.
+
===Origin ===
 +
Septemberish appears to have no memory whatsoever of a life prior to a few months before [[First Pitch|The First Pitch]]. They had been living in those months as a drifter, with zero initial knowledge of life, or even awareness of self.
  
=== Season 6 ===
+
===Introduction to Society, and More Importantly, Blaseball ===
During Season 6, Comfort Septemberish was caught in the [[Feedback]] with former [[Houston Spies]] player [[Collins Melon]], moving from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands to the Houston Spies.
+
Fortuitously for fans of the Jazz Hands, Septemberish stumbled upon the squad warming up for the first day of Spring Training. As they watched the players take batting practice, they began to mimic their actions, using a discarded O-Cedar EasyWring mop handle to send crabapples from a nearby tree hundreds of feet through the morning sky. When coaxed into the actual baseball diamond by their new teammates using ripped up pieces of beef jerky, Septemberish proved to be just as successful hammering Blaseballs, bellowing "DEEP CLEANING MADE EASY" with every home run. Their teammates would later learn that this was the slogan of the EasyWring mop.
  
== Personal Life ==
+
Most of Septemberish's language skills were acquired through studying refuse found on the streets, which is why they often speak in advertising catchphrases. The moniker Comfort was self-given, after asking a teammate if there was a word to describe what they felt after consuming a snack sized bag of "BIGGER BOLDER THICKER" Ranch Dipped Hot Wings-flavored JACKED Doritos and then laying on a Sleep Number Mattress, ''Time'' magazine's most highly rated mattress of 2012.
Septemberish appears to have no memory whatsoever of a life prior to a few months before [[First Pitch|The First Pitch]]. They had been living in those months as a drifter, with zero initial knowledge of life, or even awareness of self.  
 
  
Fortuitously for fans of the Jazz Hands, Septemberish stumbled upon the squad warming up for the first day of Spring Training. As they watched the players take batting practice, they began to mimic their actions, using a discarded O-Cedar EasyWring mop handle to send crabapples from a nearby tree hundreds of feet through the morning sky. When coaxed into the actual baseball diamond by their now teammates, using ripped up pieces of beef jerky, Septemberish proved to be just as successful hammering Blaseballs, bellowing "DEEP CLEANING MADE EASY" with every home run. Their teammates would later learn that this was the slogan of the EasyWring mop.
+
The last name is the result of a comedy of errors amongst the staff at the Breckenridge branch of Social Security, where Septemberish was directed to procure a legal identity so that they could be eligible to sign a contract with the Jazz Hands. An extremely hung-over government employee asked Septemberish for a birth date. Providing as much information as they had available, Septemberish replied "Septemberish". The error was compounded when the employee, aptly named █████ █████████, placed this information in the last name field on the document.
  
As previously mentioned, most of Septemberish's language skill was acquired through studying refuse found on the streets, which is why they often speak in advertising catchphrases. The moniker Comfort was self-given, after asking a teammate if there was a word to describe what they felt after consuming a snack sized bag of "BIGGER BOLDER THICKER" Ranch Dipped Hot Wings flavored JACKED Doritos and then laying on a Sleep Number Mattress, TIME Magazine's most highly rated mattress of 2012.  
+
===Career as a Spy===
 +
At 4:55 PM, on Day 41 of [[Season 6]], Septemberish mysteriously left the [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] for the [[Houston Spies]] after a brief conversation with [[Collins Melon]]. All who were within earshot of the conversation report a difficulty in remembering the event, a blank spot where the memory should be, but agree that one or both parties exchanged some sort of "code phrase" before the transfer occurred. It is possible, though, that Septemberish's normal speech was misconstrued as an activation sentence by witnesses, or even by Houston agents.
  
The last name is the result of a comedy of errors amongst the staff at the Breckenridge branch of Social Security, where Septemberish was directed to procure a legal identity so that they could be eligible to sign a contract with the Jazz Hands. An extremely hung-over government employee asked Septemberish for a birth date. Providing as much information as they had available, Septemberish replied "Septemberish". The error was compounded when the employee, aptly named █████ █████████, placed this information in the last name field on the document.
+
In any case, Septemberish has been a valued operative in the field for the Spies, despite their inability to maintain a cover identity for even brief periods of time. When tasked with taking on the identity of an Austrian [REDACTED] named [REDACTED] [REDACTED] at a Blaseball charity event, Septemberish is reported to have greeted a guest with "HELLO FRIEND I AM COMFORT SEPTEMBERISH BUT MY FRIENDS SAY THAT I SHOULD BE AUSTRALIAN BUT I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN I AM COMFORT SEPTEMBERISH!"
  
Septemberish has no known age, however an estimate of 27 years old has been offered by a scientist who cut off one of Septemberish's toes and counted the rings.
+
Despite this, Septemberish has never failed a mission.
  
They have been haphazardly tweeting [https://twitter.com/ComfortSept @ComfortSept] ever since their manager introduced them to the concept of a phone; it was a decision their manager has regretted to this day.
+
=== Trivia ===
 +
* Septemberish's age cannot be concretely verified, however an estimate of 27 years old has been offered by a scientist who cut off one of Septemberish's toes and counted the rings.
 +
* They have been haphazardly tweeting {{Twitter|name=ComfortSept}} ever since their manager introduced them to the concept of a phone; it was a decision their manager has regretted to this day.
  
 
==Gallery==
 
==Gallery==
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ComfortSept spy by TedFallenger.png|Season 6 Septemberish by TedFallenger|link=https://twitter.com/ComfortSept/status/1303865935820918786
 
ComfortSept spy by TedFallenger.png|Season 6 Septemberish by TedFallenger|link=https://twitter.com/ComfortSept/status/1303865935820918786
 
</gallery>
 
</gallery>
<br />
+
 
 
----
 
----
 
<references />
 
<references />
 
{{TeamNavSelector|spies}}
 
{{TeamNavSelector|spies}}
 
{{TeamCategorySelector|spies}}
 
{{TeamCategorySelector|spies}}
{{Template:FormerTeamCategorySelector|jazzhands}}
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{{FormerTeamCategorySelector|jazz hands}}
<br />
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[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Players]]
 
[[Category:Lineup Players]]
 
[[Category:Lineup Players]]
 
[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]]
 
[[Category:Players with a Tlopps card]]
 +
[[Category:Club de Calf]]

Revision as of 21:12, 16 November 2020

Comfort Septemberish is a lineup player for the Houston Spies and has been with the Spies since Season 6, Day 41 after replacing Collins Melon due to Feedback. Septemberish joined the ILB as a batter for the Breckenridge Jazz Hands in Season 1.

Official League Records

On Season 2, Day 104 against the Hades Tigers, Septemberish successfully stole home in the bottom of the 9th inning, bringing the score to a 4-4 tie before Aldon Cashmoney hit a 2-run home run on the following pitch. The game ended with the Jazz Hands winning 6-4 against the Tigers.

During the Coffee Cup, Septemberish played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

History

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Little is known about Septemberish's life prior to the First Pitch and the advent of Blaseball, least of all by Septemberish themself.

Septemberish, when asked about gender just said "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK." They are fine with people using they/them pronouns.

Playing Career

Season 1

Throughout most of Season One, Septemberish was reliably the team's best hitter, despite having very little understanding of what, in fact, Blaseball was. During the first couple of months of the season, they were acting largely on instinct, a Pavlovian response formed by being able to use the slips of paper given for hitting the Blaseball. This paper, which Septemberish now understands to be currency, was used to procure full versions of the empty boxes and packages which they had used to learn language while roaming the streets of Colorado. Slowly, they began to understand the concepts of victory and defeat, and when the dots finally connected that more victories meant more currency, Septemberish went on a tear, leading the Jazz Hands to a division title. Though the Jazz Hands were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the eventual league champion Philly Pies, Septemberish's rookie season has led fans to believe there's nowhere to go but up, especially considering that Septemberish still only sort of understand what Blaseball is.

Season 2

Septemberish was a key player in the Jazz Hands' playoff run of Season 2. In a critical Game 5 against the Hades Tigers, Septemberish stole home base, tying the game at 4-4 and putting teammate Cashmoney at ease. Cashmoney would then score a two-run home run to put the Jazz Hands in the lead and into the second round of the playoffs. Septemberish would steal home base again in the series against the Philly Pies, but the Jazz Hands were swept 3-0.

Season 3

Septemberish's performance during Season 3 seemed to slump, as did the rest of the team's as they scraped into playoffs with a 50-49 record.

Season 6

During Season 6 Day 41, Comfort Septemberish was caught in the Feedback with former Houston Spies player Collins Melon, moving from the Breckenridge Jazz Hands to the Houston Spies. Later that season, during a game between the Jazz Hands and the Spies, Randall Marijuana was incinerated during an at-bat by Septemberish (they went on to hit a triple and scored on the next play).

Personal Life

Origin

Septemberish appears to have no memory whatsoever of a life prior to a few months before The First Pitch. They had been living in those months as a drifter, with zero initial knowledge of life, or even awareness of self.

Introduction to Society, and More Importantly, Blaseball

Fortuitously for fans of the Jazz Hands, Septemberish stumbled upon the squad warming up for the first day of Spring Training. As they watched the players take batting practice, they began to mimic their actions, using a discarded O-Cedar EasyWring mop handle to send crabapples from a nearby tree hundreds of feet through the morning sky. When coaxed into the actual baseball diamond by their new teammates using ripped up pieces of beef jerky, Septemberish proved to be just as successful hammering Blaseballs, bellowing "DEEP CLEANING MADE EASY" with every home run. Their teammates would later learn that this was the slogan of the EasyWring mop.

Most of Septemberish's language skills were acquired through studying refuse found on the streets, which is why they often speak in advertising catchphrases. The moniker Comfort was self-given, after asking a teammate if there was a word to describe what they felt after consuming a snack sized bag of "BIGGER BOLDER THICKER" Ranch Dipped Hot Wings-flavored JACKED Doritos and then laying on a Sleep Number Mattress, Time magazine's most highly rated mattress of 2012.

The last name is the result of a comedy of errors amongst the staff at the Breckenridge branch of Social Security, where Septemberish was directed to procure a legal identity so that they could be eligible to sign a contract with the Jazz Hands. An extremely hung-over government employee asked Septemberish for a birth date. Providing as much information as they had available, Septemberish replied "Septemberish". The error was compounded when the employee, aptly named █████ █████████, placed this information in the last name field on the document.

Career as a Spy

At 4:55 PM, on Day 41 of Season 6, Septemberish mysteriously left the Breckenridge Jazz Hands for the Houston Spies after a brief conversation with Collins Melon. All who were within earshot of the conversation report a difficulty in remembering the event, a blank spot where the memory should be, but agree that one or both parties exchanged some sort of "code phrase" before the transfer occurred. It is possible, though, that Septemberish's normal speech was misconstrued as an activation sentence by witnesses, or even by Houston agents.

In any case, Septemberish has been a valued operative in the field for the Spies, despite their inability to maintain a cover identity for even brief periods of time. When tasked with taking on the identity of an Austrian [REDACTED] named [REDACTED] [REDACTED] at a Blaseball charity event, Septemberish is reported to have greeted a guest with "HELLO FRIEND I AM COMFORT SEPTEMBERISH BUT MY FRIENDS SAY THAT I SHOULD BE AUSTRALIAN BUT I AM NOT AUSTRALIAN I AM COMFORT SEPTEMBERISH!"

Despite this, Septemberish has never failed a mission.

Trivia

  • Septemberish's age cannot be concretely verified, however an estimate of 27 years old has been offered by a scientist who cut off one of Septemberish's toes and counted the rings.
  • They have been haphazardly tweeting @ComfortSept ever since their manager introduced them to the concept of a phone; it was a decision their manager has regretted to this day.

Gallery