Difference between revisions of "Canada Moist Talkers"

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!Season Summary
 
!Season Summary
 
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*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 2#Blessings|Defection]] blessing with 3% of the vote, stealing [[PolkaDot Patterson]] from the [[Baltimore Crabs]], and sending back [[Oliver Notarobot]].
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 2#Blessings|Defection]] blessing with 3% of the vote, stealing [[PolkaDot Patterson]] from the [[Baltimore Crabs]], and sending back [[Oliver Notarobot]].
 
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|[[Season 3|3 - Peanut Plague/Uncertainty]]
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*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 4#Blessings|Questioning Their Every Decision]] blessing with 8% of the vote, impairing the vibes of the [[Houston Spies]], [[Miami Dale]], [[Seattle Garages]], and [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] by 7%.
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 4#Blessings|Questioning Their Every Decision]] blessing with 8% of the vote, impairing the vibes of the [[Houston Spies]], [[Miami Dale]], [[Seattle Garages]], and [[Breckenridge Jazz Hands]] by 7%.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 5#Blessings|Flame-Resistant Foam]] blessing with 8% of the vote, making them immune to [[incineration]] for Season 6.
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 5#Blessings|Flame-Resistant Foam]] blessing with 8% of the vote, making them immune to [[incineration]] for Season 6.
 
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*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
*Did not receive any blessings in the election.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 7#Blessings|Scorpler's Jacket]] blessing with 3% of the vote, granting [[Jesús Koch]] Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket, and making them immune to incineration.
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 7#Blessings|Scorpler's Jacket]] blessing with 3% of the vote, granting [[Jesús Koch]] Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket, and making them immune to incineration.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 8#Blessings|Barrel of Tiny Eggs]] blessing with 16% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 [[peanuts]].
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 8#Blessings|Barrel of Tiny Eggs]] blessing with 16% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 [[peanuts]].
 
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*As a result of the [[Boston Flowers|Flowers]] winning the [[Season 9#Blessings|The Shame Bubble]] blessing, [[Modifications#Targeted Shame|Targeted Shame]] was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10.
 
*As a result of the [[Boston Flowers|Flowers]] winning the [[Season 9#Blessings|The Shame Bubble]] blessing, [[Modifications#Targeted Shame|Targeted Shame]] was inflicted on the Moist Talkers for Season 10.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 10#Blessings|Divisional Swap]] blessing with 38% of the vote, swapping divisions into [[Mild League|Mild Low]], and sending the [[Philly Pies]] into Mild High.
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 10#Blessings|Divisional Swap]] blessing with 38% of the vote, swapping divisions into [[Mild League|Mild Low]], and sending the [[Philly Pies]] into Mild High.
 
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|[[Season 11|11 - Peace & Prosperity]]
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!Season Summary
 
!Season Summary
 
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*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Season 12#Blessings|Tag Team Hitting]] blessing with 4% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the [[Ohio Worms]] by 10%.
 
*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Season 12#Blessings|Tag Team Hitting]] blessing with 4% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the [[Ohio Worms]] by 10%.
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 13|High Pressure]] blessing with 25% of the vote, granting the team the {{ModifInline|High Pressure}} [[Modifications#High Pressure|modification]].
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 13|High Pressure]] blessing with 25% of the vote, granting the team the {{ModifInline|High Pressure}} [[Modifications#High Pressure|modification]].
 
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 14#Blessings|Headliners]] blessing with 7% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 14#Blessings|Headliners]] blessing with 7% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
 
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|[[Season 15|15 - Live Bait]]
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*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 15#Blessings|Water Logged]] blessing with 43% of the vote, granting the team the {{ModifInline|H20}} [[Blood Type|blood type]].
 
*The Moist Talkers won the [[Season 15#Blessings|Water Logged]] blessing with 43% of the vote, granting the team the {{ModifInline|H20}} [[Blood Type|blood type]].
 
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*As a result of the [[Seattle Garages|Garages]]' [[Season 16#Wills|Plunder]] will, [[Carmelo Plums]] was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for [[York Silk]].
 
*As a result of the [[Seattle Garages|Garages]]' [[Season 16#Wills|Plunder]] will, [[Carmelo Plums]] was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for [[York Silk]].
 
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*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Season 17|Handcrafted Necklace Drop]] blessing, granting [[Commissioner Vapor]] a Head Necklace item after dropping their Chunky Bat.
 
*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Season 17|Handcrafted Necklace Drop]] blessing, granting [[Commissioner Vapor]] a Head Necklace item after dropping their Chunky Bat.
 
|-
 
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*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Tokyo Lift/Season 18|Open Floor Plan]] blessing with 17% of the vote, granting Gleek Arena the {{ModifInline|Open Floor Plan}} [[Modifications#Open Floor Plan|modification]].
 
*The Moist Talkers also won the [[Tokyo Lift/Season 18|Open Floor Plan]] blessing with 17% of the vote, granting Gleek Arena the {{ModifInline|Open Floor Plan}} [[Modifications#Open Floor Plan|modification]].
 
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|[[Season 19|19 - Undertow]]
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*As a result of the [[Ohio Worms|Worms]] winning the [[Season 19#Blessings|Subtractor]] blessing, [[Cedric Spliff]] was given the {{ModifInline|Subtractor}} [[Modifications#Subtractor|modification]].
 
*As a result of the [[Ohio Worms|Worms]] winning the [[Season 19#Blessings|Subtractor]] blessing, [[Cedric Spliff]] was given the {{ModifInline|Subtractor}} [[Modifications#Subtractor|modification]].
 
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*As a result of the [[Houston Spies|Spies]] winning the [[Season 20#Blessings|Fringe Benefit]] blessing, [[Commissioner Vapor]] was sent to the [[Houston Spies|Spies]] with no replacement.
 
*As a result of the [[Houston Spies|Spies]] winning the [[Season 20#Blessings|Fringe Benefit]] blessing, [[Commissioner Vapor]] was sent to the [[Houston Spies|Spies]] with no replacement.
 
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|[[Season 21|21 - Red Herring]]
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*As a result of the [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] winning the [[Season 21#Blessings|Recruit Ego]] blessing, [[Nicholas Mora]] was sent to the [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] with no replacement.
 
*As a result of the [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] winning the [[Season 21#Blessings|Recruit Ego]] blessing, [[Nicholas Mora]] was sent to the [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] with no replacement.
 
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*Both [[Mags Banananana]] and [[Alejandro Leaf]] Roamed away from the team, Roaming to the [[Hades Tigers|Tigers]] and [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] respectively.
 
*Both [[Mags Banananana]] and [[Alejandro Leaf]] Roamed away from the team, Roaming to the [[Hades Tigers|Tigers]] and [[Hawai'i Fridays|Fridays]] respectively.
 
|-
 
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|[[Season 24|24 - Fire Sale/Save Situation]]
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Revision as of 22:25, 16 January 2023

New Universe Detected
This page is undergoing constant changes due to the full release of Blaseball. Information on it might be out of date, or reference old and/or removed content.

The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that competes in the Chaotic Good division of the Good Conference.

During the Discipline Era, the Moist Talkers originally competed in the Chaotic Evil division. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season β5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season β10 election, where they played the entirety of the Expansion Era. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.

Following Fall Ball, the Moist Talkers were placed into the Chaotic Good division of the Good Conference.

Roster

Lineup Rotation
Shadows

Expansion Era

Lineup Rotation
Shadows


Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players

Incinerations

Feedback Swaps

Blessings and Trades

Roamin'

Faded into Dust

Season Results

The Discipline Era (Seasons 1 to 11)

Discipline Era
Season Wins Record Postseason Season Summary
β1 - The Return 50 50-49 Did not qualify.
  • Did not receive any blessings in the election.
β2 - The Discipline Era 55 55-44 Quarterfinalists

L 0-3 vs. Philly Pies

β3 - Peanut Plague/Uncertainty 53 53-46 Quarterfinalists

L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies

  • Did not receive any blessings in the election.
β4 - Feedback 53 53-46 Quarterfinalists

L 2-3 vs. Hades Tigers

β5 - Reverb 55 55-44 Semifinalists

W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs
L 2-3 vs. Breckenridge Jazz Hands

β6 - Idols 48 48-51 Did not qualify.
  • Did not receive any blessings in the election.
β7 - Getting Shelled 42 42-57 Did not qualify.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Scorpler's Jacket blessing with 3% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch Mclaughlin Scorpler's Memorial Fireproof Jacket, and making them immune to incineration.
β8 - Rest in Violence 48 48-51 Did not qualify.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing with 16% of the vote, granting all fans of the Canada Moist Talkers 10000 peanuts.
β9 - Forecast 50 50-49 Did not qualify.
β10 - Backdraft 67 67-32 Quarterfinalists

L 1-3 vs. New York Millennials

β11 - Peace & Prosperity 65 65-39 Quarterfinalists

L 1-3 vs. Yellowstone Magic

  • The Moist Talkers won the V blessing with 51% of the vote, granting them V The Hierophant as their Tarot Card.

The Expansion Era (Seasons 12 to 24)

Expansion Era
Season Wins Record Postseason Season Summary
β12 - The Expansion Era 55 55-44 Did not qualify.
  • The Moist Talkers received the Trust will with a 1% chance, granting PolkaDot Patterson the  Flippers modification.
  • The Moist Talkers also received the Infuse will with a 43% chance, granting Greer Lott a stat increase from 11.5 15.9 combined stars.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Earlbirds blessing with 2% of the vote, giving the team the  Earlbirds modification for Season 13's Earlseason.
  • The Moist Talkers also won the Tag Team Hitting blessing with 4% of the vote, boosting the hitting of the Moist Talkers and the Ohio Worms by 10%.
β13 - Home Free 57 57-42 Quarterfinalists

L 2-3 vs. Hawai'i Fridays

β14 - The -ides 68 68-31 ILB Champions

W 3-0 vs. Baltimore Crabs
W 3-2 vs. Yellowstone Magic
W 3-0 vs. LA Unlimited Tacos

β15 - Live Bait 62 62-37 ILB Champions

W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials
W 3-1 vs. Baltimore Crabs
W 3-1 vs. Mexico City Wild Wings

  • As a result of the Bats decree, all players on the Moist Talkers' active roster received a Bat item.
  • The Moist Talkers received the Transfuse will with a 4% chance, granting Greer Lott a pitching stat increase of 3.4 4.6 while giving them a batting star decrease of 4.4 4.2 .
  • The Moist Talkers also received the Plunder will with an 11% chance, targeting York Silk in exchange for Fish Summer.
  • As a result of the Steaks' Plunder will, Sixpack Dogwalker was traded to the Moist Talkers for PolkaDot Patterson.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Water Logged blessing with 43% of the vote, granting the team the  H20 blood type.
β16 - Mass Production 64 64-35 Quarterfinalists

L 2-3 vs. Core Mechanics

β17 - Collections 54 54-45 Did not qualify.
β18 - New Editions 42 42-57 Did not qualify.
  • The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 2% chance, calling in an alternate for Greer Lott, who gained both the  Alternate and  Negative modifications.
  • The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 22% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of 3.0 4.1 .
  • As a result of the Dale's Equivalent Exchange will, Randy Dennis was traded to the Moist Talkers in exchange for Richmond Harrison.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Slow Build blessing with 23% of the vote, granting all lineup players the  Slow Build modification.
  • The Moist Talkers also won the Open Floor Plan blessing with 17% of the vote, granting Gleek Arena the  Open Floor Plan modification.
β19 - Undertow -58 58-41 Did not qualify.
  • For finishing in the last four teams in the league, the Moist Talkers became a recipient of Tgb free wills.png Free Wills.
  • The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust will with a 6% chance, calling in an alternate for Amos Melon, who gained both the  Alternate and  Negative modifications.
  • The Moist Talkers also received the Shadow Infuse will with a 31% chance, granting London Simmons a batting stat increase of 4.1 5.2 .
  • Finally, the Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange will with a 1% chance, trading Goobie Ballson for Cudi Di Batterino of the Tokyo Lift.
  • The Moist Talkers won the Super Roamin' Fifth Base blessing with 4% of the vote, granting Jesús Koch The Fifth Base after dropping their Necklace.
  • The Moist Talkers also won the Shadow Helmet Supply Run blessing with 21% of the vote, granting all players in the Moist Talkers' shadows with an available item slot a Helmet.
  • Third, the Moist Talkers won the Headliners blessing with 69% of the vote, sorting their lineup by Idolatry.
  • Lastly, the Moist Talkers won the Moderation blessing, granting the team the  Moderation modification.
  • As a result of the Worms winning the Subtractor blessing, Cedric Spliff was given the  Subtractor modification.
β20 - Win(Win) 40 40-59 Underbracket Quarterfinals

L 2-3 vs. San Francisco Lovers

β21 - Red Herring 67 57-42 Wildcard

Underbracket Finalists
W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages
W 3-2 vs. Kansas City Breath Mints
L 0-3 vs. Hellmouth Sunbeams

β22 - Overdue 41 41-58 Wildcard Round

L 2-3 vs. Philly Pies

β23 - A Set Up 61 61-38 ILB Champions

W 3-1 vs. New York Millennials
W 4-1 vs. Seattle Garages
W 3-2 vs. Ohio Worms

β24 - Fire Sale/Save Situation Did not finish. Did not finish. Did not finish.


Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

As a rite of passage for new players, and also to encourage camaraderie with the Charleston Shoe Thieves, new players are taken out shopping to buy several pairs of cool shoes. Players can expect their shoes to first get stolen by Beasley Gloom, and then when they eventually pass onto the Shoe Thieves, they can often find a little bite mark from Gloom. This is considered good luck, and a good omen for coming games.

Staff

Coaching

Mascots

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.

Chants

The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.

  • Talk Spit, Get Hits
  • One Mouth, a lotta spit

For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.

Notable Events

  • In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
  • In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.

Trivia

  • The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.

On the Material Plane

  • In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other[1], a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.

Fan Art