Canada Moist Talkers

Canada Moist Talkers
Logo by Q Peiffer. @longhairQ
Former Names	Topeka Moist Talkers
League	Internet League Blaseball
Subleague	Mild League
Division	Mild Low
Ballpark	Gleek Arena
Modifications	Targeted Shame (Season 8, 10)Teams with Targeted Shame will start with negative runs the game after being shamed. See also: Glossary  The Fifth Base (Season 10)Ballpark: Teams playing in this Ballpark must run five bases instead of four. Team: This Team must run five bases instead of four. See also: Glossary  Earlbirds (Season 12)This Team or Player will Overperform in the Earlseason.  Flood BathWhen Runners on this Team are cleared via Flooding, they'll become Slippery for the remainder of the game.  H20Players with H20 will always swing at strikes while there are 2 Outs.  High PressureThis Team or Player will play 25% better in Flooding weather when runners are on base.  ModerationThis Team will accept Unruns after each non-loss so that they only non-lose by 1 Run.  RoamlessPlayers cannot Roam to this Team.  RogueThis Team is Out for a Surprise Attack.  Under ReviewThis Team is Under Review...
Home Location	Topeka (former) Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Team Slogan	"SPRAY IT, DON'T SAY IT" (former) "Talk Spit, Get Hits"
Team Colors	#e5f4f5, #ed1c24, #3B97D3, #035597
Emoji	🗣️
Arcanum	V The Hierophant
Team Abbreviation	CAN
External Links	Blaseball-Reference Team Page
Mascot	FASHION
Social media	@MoistTalkers

The Canada Moist Talkers (formerly the Topeka Moist Talkers) are a Blaseball team that debuted in the Chaotic Evil division of the Evil League. After the High Filter decree passed in the election following Season 5, they were placed into the Mild High division of The Mild League, later moving to the Mild Low division after the Season 10 election. They have been a member of Internet League Blaseball since Season D when they, then named the Topeka Moist Talkers, joined as an incineration replacement for the Canada Artists.

Roster

Lineup	Rotation
Lucien Patchwork Tiana Wheeler London Simmons	Greer Lott Slosh Truk Beasley Gloom Jacoby Podcast Amos Melon Jenkins Good Nova Gesundheit Montgomery Bullock
Shadows
Carter Turnip Collins Mina Tyreek Peterson Mooney Doctor Denim Squall Premjeet Liu PolkaDot Patterson Rhombus Drama Billup Kiddo Zeke Wallace Freemium Seraph Sixpack Dogwalker Cedric Spliff Spears Nolan Natha Spruce Wall Osborn Paco Junebug Nicholas Nolan Adrianna Spheroid Mummy Cantburn Legory Chickensalt Eugenia Garbage

Select Tlopps cards can be found here

Former Players

Incinerations

• Trevino Merritt (Season 2, Day 72; replaced by Simon Haley)
• Kennedy Alstott (Season 3, Day 19; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
• Tyler Violet (Season 3, Day 44; replaced by Ziwa Mueller)
• Elijah Bates (Season 7, Day 32; replaced by Kiki Familia)
• Kiki Familia (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Quack Enjoyable)
• Antonio Wallace (Season 7, Day 33; replaced by Beans McBlase)
• Workman Gloom (Season 7, Day 81; replaced by Commissioner Vapor)
• York Silk (Season 14, Day 87; replaced by Lucien Patchwork)

Feedback Swaps

• Joe Voorhees (Season 4, Day 28; replaced by Workman Gloom)
• Richmond Harrison (Season 6, Day 19; replaced by Fish Summer)
• Lachlan Shelton (Season 6, Day 23; replaced by Antonio Wallace)
• Hobbs Cain (Season 6, Day 82; replaced by Alston Cerveza)
• Quack Enjoyable (Season 8, Day 42; replaced by Cedric Spliff)
• Eugenia Garbage (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Lachlan Shelton)
• Simon Haley (Season 8, Day 44; replaced by Eugenia Garbage)
• Ortiz Morse (Season 9, Day 53; replaced by Jaylen Hotdogfingers)
• Jaylen Hotdogfingers (Season 9, Day 64; replaced by Beasley Gloom)
• Doc Anice (Season 13, Day 41; replaced by Bright Zimmerman)
• Greer Lott (Season 20, Day 92; replaced by Jacoby Podcast)

Blessings and Trades

• Oliver Notarobot (Season 2, via the Defection blessing; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
• Polkadot Patterson (Season 12, via the Plunder will; replaced by Doc Anice)
• Shirai McElroy (Season 13, via the Plunder will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
• Bright Zimmerman (Season 14, via the Revoke will; no replacement)
• PolkaDot Patterson (Season 15, via the Plunder will; replaced by Sixpack Dogwalker)
• Fish Summer (Season 15, via the Plunder will; replaced by York Silk)
• Alston Cerveza (Season 16, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Richmond Harrison)
• York Silk (Season 16, via the Plunder will; replaced by Carmelo Plums)
• Carmelo Plums (Season 17, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Goobie Ballson)
• Richmond Harrison (Season 18, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Randy Dennis)
• Goobie Ballson (Season 19, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Cudi Di Batterino)
• Beans McBlase (Season 20, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Greer Lott)
• Commissioner Vapor (Season 20, via the Fringe Benefit blessing; no replacement)
• Augusto Reddick (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by PolkaDot Patterson)
• Lachlan Shelton (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Nicholas Mora)
• Cudi Di Batterino (Season 21, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Freemium Seraph)
• Nicholas Mora (Season 21, via the Recruit Ego blessing; no replacement)
• Randy Dennis (Season 22, via the Equivalent Exchange will; replaced by Slosh Truk)
• Tucker Flores (Season 22, via the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)
• Ziwa Mueller (Season 22, via the Little Swap blessing; replaced by Tiana Wheeler)
• Rosstin Andante (Season 23, via the Gachapon blessing; no replacement)

Roamin'

• Jesús Koch (roamed to the Philly Pies, Season 20 Day 9, due to Super Roamin' Fifth Base)
• Jesús Koch (roamed to the Yellowstone Magic, Season 20 Day 27, due to Super Roamin' Fifth Base)
• Mags Banananana (roamed to the Hades Tigers, Season 23 elections)
• Alejandro Leaf (roamed to the Hawai'i Fridays, Season 23 elections)

Faded into Dust

• York Silk III (Season 18 elections)
• Chorby Soul VI (Season 20 elections)
• Liquid Friend XII (Season 22 elections)
• Uncle Plasma XII (Season 23 elections)

Season Results

• In Season 1, the Moist Talkers finished third in the Chaotic Evil Division, missing the playoffs by only two games.
• In Season 2, the Moist Talkers were swept in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-0 (Best of 5).
• In Season 3, the Moist Talkers were eliminated in the first round of the playoffs by the Philly Pies, 3-2 (Best of 5).
• In Season 4, the Moist Talkers were blessed by Questioning Their Every Decision in the Season 4 Elections, which caused their opponents in the Chaotic Evil division to have impaired vibes by 7%.
• In Season 8 election, the Moist Talkers received the Barrel of Tiny Eggs blessing, causing 10,000 peanuts to be granted to each of their fans.
• In the Season 9 election, the Moist Talkers received the Boatload of Tiny Eggs blessing, granting 10,000 peanuts to their fans, and the Tag Team Hitting blessing, which improved their hitting and that of the Unlimited Tacos by 10%. They were subjected to Targeted Shame and Fifth Base.
• In the Season 10 election, the Moist Talkers received the Divisional Swap blessing, moving them to the Mild Low division in exchange for the Philly Pies. They also benefited from the effects of the Shadow Ban Together blessing won by the Charleston Shoe Thieves, boosting their shadows by 3%.
• In the Season 11 elections, the Moist Talkers were assigned the Arcana V The Pope.
• In the Season 12 elections, the Moist Talkers finished second in the Mild Low division and received the Earlbirds blessing, granting them the Earlbirds Modification. The Moist Talkers also received the Tag Team Hitting blessing, boosting the team's hitting by 10%. They recieved the Trust and Infuse wills, giving the Flippers modification to PolkaDot Patterson, and boosting Greer Lott's Stars from 11.5 to 15.9 total. However, Patterson was traded for Doc Anice due to the Plunder will soon after.
• In the Season 13 elections, the Moist Talkers received the wills Foreshadow which brought out Shirai McElroy in exchange for Mooney Doctor, and Plunder, which reclaimed PolkaDot Patterson for the team. Additionally, they won the blessing High Pressure, which gave them the High Pressure modification.
• In the Season 14 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Infuse Will, which infused Lucien Patchwork with a combined 6.0 → 11.1 stat change, and the Revoke Will, which sent Bright Zimmerman to the Charleston Shoe Thieves. They also received the Headliners Blessing, which sorted their lineup by Idolatry.
• In the Season 15 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Transfuse Will, which boosted Greer Lotts's pitching stars and decreased the batting stars. In addition, they received the Plunder Will, which sent Fish Summer to the Baltimore Crabs for York Silk. They also received the Water Logged Blessing, which gave their whole team H2O Blood.
• In the Season 16 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Equivalent Exchange Will, which traded Alston Cerveza to the Hellmouth Sunbeams for Richmond Harrison. They also sent Sixpack Dogwalker to the shadows for Augusto Reddick with their Foreshadow Will.
• In the Season 17 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Move Will, moving Carmelo Plums from their lineup to the rotation. In addition, they received the Equivalent Exchange Will, which traded Carmelo Plums to the Chicago Firefighters for Goobie Ballson, becoming a pitcher in the process. They also received the Necklace Supply Run blessing, granting all active players a Necklace item.
• In the Season 18 elections, The Moist Talkers received the Alternate Trust Will, which called in an Alternate for Greer Lott, granting them the Alternate and Negative modifications. In addition, they received the Shadow Infuse Will, which infused London Simmons' batting from 3.0 → 4.1 . They also received the Slow Build blessing, granting all active lineup players the Slow Build modification, as well as the Open Floor Plan blessing, which granted Gleek Arena the Open Floor Plan modification.

Team Overview

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

For a more in-depth look at the team, see Canada Moist Talkers/History

The Moist Talker's home stadium is Gleek Arena in the sunken city of Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. Outside of Canada, this team is widely known by their nickname "The Towelettes."

The mouth in the Moist Talkers logo is modeled after Tom DeLonge, noted musician, Canadian, and UFO Researcher.

As a rite of passage for new players, and also to encourage camaraderie with the Charleston Shoe Thieves, new players are taken out shopping to buy several pairs of cool shoes. Players can expect their shoes to first get stolen by Beasley Gloom, and then when they eventually pass onto the Shoe Thieves, they can often find a little bite mark from Gloom. This is considered good luck, and a good omen for coming games.

Staff

Coaching

• Michel É. Moose and Chalky Hoodwinkle

Mascots

• Season 1 - THE MAW
• Season 2 - Belligerent Phlegm Receptacle
• Season 3 - The Moist Owlette
• Season 4 - The Tantric Shrimp
• Season 5 - H O R K
• Season 6 - Gigantamax Inflatable and Jerry The Intern
• Season 7 - The ORB
• Season 8 - Buddy
• Season 9 - None
• Season 10 - The Husk
• Season 11 - FASHION™®©
• Season 12 - Mario The Cat
• Season 13 - "Singing Salmon" (Greer Lott Edition)
• Season 14 - Pokey Patty
• Season 15 - ~object Object~
• Season 16 - Soggy Doggy
• Season 17 - The Offering Bowl
• Season 18 - Nic
• Season 19 - Finn Ghees
• Season 20 - Maude R. Ation

Fan Culture

For a more in-depth look at fan culture, see Canada Moist Talkers/Fan Culture.

Chants

The Canada Moist Talkers' fans have plenty of chants to scream out while in the stands of a blaseball arena. Notably, most of the chants involve a large amount of spitting.

• Talk Spit, Get Hits
• One Mouth, a lotta spit

For more, including player-specific chants, see Chants.

Notable Events

• In the 57th game of Season 2 in a game against the Hellmouth Sunbeams, the Moist Talkers found themselves down 3-0 in the bottom of the 7th inning. Their collective backs against the wall, they hunkered down and scored one run each in the seventh, eighth, and ninth inning to send the game into extra innings. The run scored in the ninth inning was due to the team's loose cannon, Trevino Merritt, stealing home with two outs while the team was down 3-2. The Moist Talkers went on to win the game in thirteen innings, by a score of 5-3.
• In the 96th game of Season 2 in a game against the Seattle Garages, the Moist Talkers hit two grand slams in the bottom of the third inning, off of the bats of Hobbs Cain and Richmond Harrison respectively. The team put up 13 runs in the inning, which is an Internet Blaseball League record. They would go on to win the game by a score of 18-3, and clinch a spot in the IBL Playoffs.

Trivia

• The Player's favourite television program is H2O: Just Add Water.

On the Material Plane

• In a speech prior to Season 1, Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau advised the nation that wearing a mask can prevent Canadians from “speaking moistly” to each other, a clear yet subtle nod to the team despite the apparent chronological discrepancy.

Fan Art

• 

  The Current 2020 Jersey Design for the Moist Talkers. Created by: @Spiral_Joe / longhairQ

• 

  Logo by Cobaltcakes

• 

  Season 3 Team Selfie by @Spiral_Joe.

• 

  Richmond and Hobbs. by @Spiral_Joe.

• 

  Moist Talkers Throwback logo by @easyreader #8140 on Discord

• 

  Full Lineup by avery_helm

• 

  The Dot and York Silk (bellart03)

• 

  What is Height? ft. Mooney Doctor, Eugenia Garbage, Fish Summer, and Cedric Spliff

• 

  What is Height 2, ft. Commissioner Vapor, Ziwa Mueller, McBlase (&) Beans

• 

  Season 12 Moist Talkers Team Selfie by Spiral_Joe

• 

  Necromancy Poster by Spiral_Joe