Blimp Hardison

From Blaseball Wiki

Revision as of 04:05, 18 January 2023 by ThePusherRobot (talk | contribs) (Use NewAutomatedPlayer)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)

Blimp Hardison is a player for the San Francisco Lovers, and has been with the team since the Season β20 Endseason.

Official League Records

Hardison joined the ILB as a player in the Shadows for the San Francisco Lovers as the Lovers' Season β20 Underbracket Playoff Birth.

On Season β22, Day 50, Hardison joined the Lovers' lineup in exchange for Foxy Pebble at San Franstadium via the Ratified Voicemail.

During the December 9, 2022 Fall Ball, Hardison fell back to the San Francisco Lovers.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

History

Colloquially known as ‘Blimp Hardison’ (collective they/them), this air vessel was originally hired by the Blaseball News Network for capturing aerial views of live splorting events for broadcast and advertising purposes. However, due to an unfortunate clerical error involving Hardison’s Blimp Aviation, Co.’s paperwork, the vessel was misfiled as a singular individual/blaseball player named ‘Blimp Hardison’. Despite protests from the crew, they resigned themselves to their inevitable fate, joining the San Francisco Lovers’ line-up.

Strangely enough, every crew member of the vessel’s name appears to be Hardison. When asked about it, the various Hardisons couldn’t seem to recall if that was always the case or not. To minimize confusion onboard the blimp each Hardison has taken a designated call sign based on a prominent feature of their appearance, their designation, or their job title.

The Blimp

The vessel, simply known as ‘Blimp’ was designed using a hybrid of magic and technology, appropriately called ‘magitech’. Blimp is a non-rigid (meaning its shape is not maintained by a rigid internal structure) dirigible (directable/steerable airships). Inside its exterior envelope, the vessel is fitted with air–filled ballonets and ‘love blood’. As Blimp ascends or descends, the internal ballonets, using magitech, expand or contract to compensate for eDensity changes and to maintain uniform pressure in the envelope. The eDensity is maintained under low pressure, so small punctures do not pose serious consequences for the vessel. One inspection element of the vessel is to look into the envelope for pinpoints of light which are indicative of small holes.

The Crew

Many individuals make up the crew of Blimp, below is one such crewmember.
This time, the Interdimensional Rumor Mill reveals a Crew Manifest from IF-7.125 out of its Crew Manifest Registry...

Name: Keeps

Call Sign: The Instructional Safety Occupation Network (I.S.O.N)

Role: Safety Officer

Pronouns: it/its, they/them, xe/xem

Background

Upon the construction of the great Blimp, the Architect, who’s name is simply lost to time, realized that for the blimp and its crew to be successful, they would need help. Most importantly, the Architect realized that the future crew of this ship would need someone to keep them safe.

[ PROCESSING…]

[INITIATING]

[THE INSTRUCTIONAL SAFETY OCCUPATION NETWORK (I.S.O.N) IS NOW ONLINE]

The I.S.O.N AI was designed with one goal in mind, to keep the crew of the Hardison Blimp safe and sound. It was designed as a smart AI, able to gain knowledge of its surroundings, its crew, and an endless amount of safety requirements in order to ensure the crew has safe travels.

I.S.O.N began xer life as the ship’s on board AI, safety officer and aid, able to tap into the electronics across the blimp. Anything from CPR training to calming down techniques I.S.O.N was able to aid in, and with the ability to zip around to different places in the ship, the crew eventually fell in love with the AI.

I.S.O.N has a common moniker, as the crew member who always saw them off and welcomed them home, notably, the phrase “Keep Safe!” stuck with the entire crew, which spawned the nickname Keeps.

Physical Form

Eventually, Keeps expressed the need to want to leave the Blimp, for the sake of attending the rest of the crew’s adventures. After a particular mission that left crew members hurt, Keeps passionately expressed the need for a body, and the crew went to work.

Brass, titanium, wiring and silicon, after many weeks with help from the likes of the doctor, the engineer and the original documents left by the blimp’s Architect, a body was formed. I.S.O.N was thrilled to receive the body, and this began a new chapter in their life.

Due to the nature of Keeps’ DIY body, not everything is always up to speed, Keeps often experiences the gears and joints slip out of place in their legs, resulting in falls. Upon their entrance to baseball, the crew doctor helped craft strong and reliable braces that support Keeps’ legs and allow them to play blaseball.

Relationship With Blaseball

Their love for blaseball began long before joining The Lovers, in its infancy, often The Captain or the Architect would put on the games radio broadcasts, and eventually, after Keeps received a body, xe went to their first real blaseball game in San Francisco. Of course, Keeps is worried about folks getting hurt during play, but that doesn't prevent their love for the splort. Unfortunately for I.S.O.N, they are unaware of the more...violent injuries that blaseball results in.

I.S.O.N is proud to be a Lover, and is happy it now has two families it can love, protect and play blaseball with.