Beasley Day

Beasley Day was a lineup player for the Hades Tigers, and was with the team from the Season β21 elections until Fall Ball. Day has previously played for the Philly Pies.

Official League Records

Day joined the ILB as a lineup player for the Philly Pies with the Return of Blaseball.

During the Season β5 election, Day's batting and defense fell from to as a part of the Charleston Shoe Thieves' Bad Neighbors blessing.

During the Coffee Cup, Day played for Club de Calf as a lineup player.

After returning from during Season β13, Day was the first player to be Scattered and briefly named -easley Day.

During the Season β14 elections, Day received a combined stat change of 8.3 → 12.7 as a result of the Pies' Infuse will. Day also received the Minimalist modification as a result of the Garages' receiving the Min-Maxing blessing.

During the Season β21 elections, Day was traded to the Hades Tigers in exchange for Dudley Mueller as a result of the Tigers' Equivalent Exchange Will.

During the Season β22 elections, Day gained the Subtractor modification as a result of the Subtractor Avoidance blessing.

COMMUNITY REPORTS
The remainder of this article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community.

Pies catcher Beasley Day is a three headed dog, specifically appearing to be a beagle/Cerberus hybrid. He is most commonly referred to by he/him/his and “a good boy” and, despite the three heads occasionally showing slight differences in reactions and personality, is generally considered to be one singular dog.

Recruitment

There has been some slight controversy, with the reveal of the fabrication of Nicholas Mora’s status as “the original pie” and Day’s inherent connection to the symbolism of Hades, but at the moment he is still believed to be one of the few remaining original Pies on the roster. He was brought to the very first Pies practice in preparation for season 1, and the staff and other players were instantly enamored by him. No rule against dogs playing blaseball could be found, and he was given a spot with no argument.

Since his recruitment, Beasley spends close to all of his time within The Oven, having access to food, a bed, and oh so many treats and chew toys there. For much of his early career, staff limited his food to dog treats and Tastykake products. However, late in season 14, Beasley was found to be sneaking into the hot dog stand at night. The change in diet significantly improved his play, so The Oven staff made the decision to leave it unlocked and fully stocked overnight in the future.

Day also was given his own dedicated room within The Oven, including a pie tin shaped dog bed, and plush merch sold at the team store. These toys, especially those which look like The Philling, have to be either repaired or replaced frequently. However, despite this, it’s rare the Day actually ends up sleeping overnight in this room. Instead, he more commonly ends up either sleeping curled on top of another player’s feet, or somewhere in the Underhot, near a particularly warm pipe.

Position on the Team

Beasley is unique, being one of the only players in the IBL to exclusively play catcher when the opposing team is batting, despite catcher not actually being a recognized position in blaseball. This tradition began the first time a pitch was thrown at a Pies practice when, sensing a game of fetch, Day ran after it from where he was positioned in the outfield, almost trampled batter Juan Rangel, and returned the ball to pitcher Elvis Figueroa.

Beasley’s relationship to the other Pies players blurs the line between teammate, moral support, and even to some extent, team pet/mascot. The later does not escape the notice of The Philling, the teams official, widely feared, mascot. This has lead to a rivalry of sorts forming between Day and The Philling, which has seemed only to intensify with each passing season. Beasley seems to be intent on tasting the mascot’s fabled philling, a desire likely spurred by the large portion of his diet that consists purely of Tastykake.

The relationship between the two is mostly Beasley chasing the Philling around The Oven between innings and games, much to the delight of fans who assume the mascot is in on the act, and the Philling producing a variety of japes and tomfoolery that seem potentially quite lethal, but Day always manages to avoid.

Despite all of this, the two have also been secretly observed acting quite friendly towards each other on occasion. While its unknown if and where the Philling sleeps, it sometimes pets Beasley when he is too tired to give chase, and Beasley has acted friendly in return. However, the two can switch back at a moment’s notice with little to no warning, although neither seems surprised nor hurt when this happens.

No player on the Pies could ever be described as “disliking” Day, due to his natural charm and adorableness. However, team captain Eduardo Woodman has frequently expressed exasperation at Day. This is often instigated by his failure to stick with preplanned strategies, and his propensity to try and steal bases despite his relative inability to actually do so.

Woodman has attempted to raise these concerns in practices, but the subsequent comforting of Beasley by the other players of the roster has meant that any attempt to change his playstyle has largely failed.

Beasley Day wears three collars at all times, each with a third of his name, and a different phone number on it. The tags switch frequently, with phone numbers for different Pies players each day, though since her return to the team, one has always been Jessica Telephone’s number.

Jessica telephone seems to be a favorite of Beasley, now that Woods is gone. However, it doesn’t seem like he can differentiate between her and his personal idol, the skateboarding dog, and treats the two as interchangeable. This trend started during the Dirtbag JT years, when she fed him a tastykake-based edible as a joke. The treat didn’t start a habit, but he was glad to have the experience.

Public Reception

Despite his relatively mediocre performance over the seasons, Beasley Day is frequently touted as a flan favorite player. He has never garnered the large scale disdain other middling and bad Pies players have, with fans frequently chanting “Good Boy” and some variation of “Walkies for Beasley,” even when he performs poorly.

An event of note was Beasley’s first trip to Elsewhere. Shortly after flooding began, Beasley was swept away by immateria when the opposing team’s pitcher pretended to throw a pitch, but really he was hiding it in his hand. While he wasn’t the first player to be swept elsewhere, he was gone significantly longer than many other players, and was still missing when the season ended.

When Beasley did return, he was the first player in the IBL to have the “Scattered” condition, with his name changed to -easly Day. For a brief period of time, no players or flans could remember what letter his name did start with. As the effect was new, everyone was uncertain whether it would be permanent. Once the condition did end, he maintained a lasting change to his appearance.

Beasley Day, despite his relatively uneventful career, lackluster skills, and mildly frustrating playstyle, has maintained his place over the seasons as a Pies flan favorite. Having earned accolades like season 12 “Flan Favorite,” “Goodest boy,” and frequently coming in runner up for “Biggest Underdog” in the seasonal MVP elections, Day has secured his place in the culture of Philly.

Box of Beasley Day Files

Dust billows as the file box lands on the table. While many archives in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill are unified in some way, this... definitely isn’t one of them. The accompanying Rumor Registry explains all of the contents... wherever it is... but for now you grab the folder labelled IF-23.55 and start reading...

Good Boy, Good Activism

Beasley Day was originally recruited by the late Mickey Woods, who found them wandering the streets of Philly and brought him to her first practice with the team. The comradery he had with Woods seemed to bring out a strong desire for social justice and progressive change.

The players who know Beasley well, particularly those players who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, always reiterate that Beasley is the best ally they’ve ever met. While not a member of the community himself, being a dog, Day is constantly cited as involved in a variety of progressive causes. He also champions gun control, and lead the push to remove the Pienitentiary during the IBL’s prison abolition movement.

(It should be noted, Beasley was a proponent of the movement before it gained mainstream traction, due to his close relationship to Mickey Woods, but he wasn’t given a platform to express this until that point)

Day’s communication with other players and flans ranges from regular barking, to fully understandable, but he’s only been heard actually speaking English once. When the Philadelphia police were trying to launch a new PR campaign, they approached the Pies requesting that they be allowed to make Day an honorary canine unit. Beasley said with all three heads in perfect English, “ACAB,” then left and disappeared into the Underhot.

All of the current Philadelphia canine units were released that night by an unknown figure, and were reportedly rehabilitated on a mass scale. Some reports of increased canine activity within the Underhot have been made, along with a sudden influx of dogs that were prime candidates for adoption and service/emotional support animal programs. However you can’t prove anything, what are you, a cop? Its also impossible to tie the fact that all Philadelphia dogs suddenly and inexplicably became near impossible to train for police work to anyone associated with the Pies, so don’t even bother trying.