Baldwin Breadwinner/IF-57.916
Rumor / Community LoreThis article contains lore created collaboratively by the Blaseball community. It is just one of many Rumors that we've found in the Interdimensional Rumor Mill. You can find more Rumors about Baldwin Breadwinner at their Rumor Registry.
Early Life
Baldwin Breadwinner's life history is surprisingly shrouded in mystery. She has no known living or unliving relatives, and despite her having had a legal name change,[1] all documents concerning her past had been mysteriously wisped into the air, floating along the harsh breeze until they met the document-destroying jaws of a nearby incinerator. When asked about this in various interviews, Breadwinner responded vaguely, saying
Yeah, I tried to make a pact with the Dark God Beelzeblase in order to give up half my life in order to completely erase my past, among other things. I'm not really sure if it went through, since the summoning was pretty sloppy, and I didn't see anything or anyone when I started dripping my blood in, but a day later, all of my "The Game of Life" boards that were sitting in my closet had been cut in half. So, you know. Maybe that worked, but the Dark God probably misunderstood the deal.
When pressed on her name before her legal change, Breadwinner was recorded as speaking it, but the interviewing correspondent suddenly became deaf, her vision became completely red, and she vomited out an unknown, jet black substance that melted through the floor. The recording glitches around the moment she says her name. Breadwinner, soon after, responds with "Hey! Thanks for the assist, bro," and the correspondent recovered from their demonic episode a few hours later.
Other interviewers attempted to follow up on details concerning her deals with the Dark God Beelzeblase, but she wasn't really too sure what worked and what didn't herself. "I tried to make a deal with him to make me an ungodly powerful Blaseball player," she states. She continues, saying "But he said 'man, no, that sounds boring as hell. why don't you just get good,' so I did that instead." Various other attempted deals with the devil were largely frivolous.
Bread Winning Controversy
Baldwin Breadwinner is known for only ever eating meals that include bread in them. Whether this means common foods such as toast and sandwiches, or less common bread-based meals such as breadcrumb-covered meatballs and bruschetta, she sticks to this diet very strictly. As a result of this, she's had to clash against her own former team management, as she would often be forced to hold, or even eat, a taco for promotional material. Eventually, she got her wish, and ever since, she had usually been seen in these promotional materials with a lone Subway sandwich as everyone else enjoys their taco.
Some members of the team have attempted to get her to try a taco by encasing the taco materials within bread, or sprinkling breadcrumbs on the taco. Breadwinner's statement on the subject is that doing so sort of defeats the point of a taco. People eventually decided to stop questioning this.
More Bread
Within the Unlimited Los Angeli, wherein time and space are suggestion, not law, Baldwin Breadwinner was surprised and excited to find that all of her bats had been replaced by stale baguettes.
Feedback to the Fridays
On Day 82 of season 4, Fletcher Yamamoto baked a particularly transcendent loaf of bread during his pre-game ritual and had it on display at the Fridays' third base snack cart. Those by the cart report that they heard Breadwinner say between mouthfuls of bread, "I wish this loaf lasted forever." Our Lady of Perpetual Friday obliged.
Since joining the Fridays, Breadwinner has reported that from now on she will only be wearing loafers during games.
There are unconfirmed rumors that Alyssa Harrell and Breadwinner have been seen making bread together.[2][3]
Reflections
Baldwin has reported issues with demons appearing in reflective surfaces near her, having heard about her deal with Beelzeblase and wanting to “get in on that action.” The varieties of these demons vary significantly as do the methods of dealing with them. Lesser demonic entities can be dealt with either a small spray bottle of holy water she keeps on hand, or just harsh language. Others will only appear when Baldwin is alone in an attempt to catch her off guard, a strategy that Baldwin quickly dealt with by having other players around when she wants to fix her hair or put on make-up. After joining the Crabs many were happy for the opportunity to converse with her, but this duty has been taken up gleefully by Evelton McBlase II who uses the time to explain their latest scheme with magic markers on the mirror in question.
Not all of these guests are unwelcome however, as Baldwin has also received visitors that are just eager for gossip and conversation, something she is willing to entertain because some circle demons are great conversationalists. The strangest of all seems to be Since joining the Crabs for ascension, Baldwin has described a “ghost of a ghost” that seems to be appearing not only in reflections, but in her dreams as well. While she hasn’t engaged with it directly Baldwin described it as “annoyingly persistent” and complained that “she won’t just tell me what she wants”.
Trivia
- Breadwinner is the loving mother of three children, and plays Blaseball to support them. She also serves her team as a motherly figure, particularly to the Friday’s own York Silk.
