Axeman

Axeman
Affiliation	Chicago Firefighters
Title	The Axeman
Species	Unknowable

The Axeman is the creator of all equipment used by the Chicago Firefighters. Little is known of their origin, and what is known is a closely kept secret. The Axeman toils day and night within the catacombs of Lowest Wacker Drive. Using fires from the molten core of The Earth itself, which Chicago has tamed with their paramortal hands, The Axeman crafts the finest blaseball axes--carved from the husks of the giant axes that cover the landscape of many of the planes of Wacker Drive.

The Axeman is a being of pure portent. They will only appear at the start of training for each Blaseball season to equip the Firefighters with The Axeman's latest masterworks. The Axeman is transported by a train car aloft an L line you have never noticed before and shan't notice again. Each player is gifted a new Blaseball Axe which, upon the handling thereof, compels The Axeman to utter: "I am The Axeman, Captain of Captians. Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and Play Ball."

Poem

The following is said to appear on the entrances to Fermi Lab written in flame retardant paint to herald the arrival of The Axeman:

All must be silent at the start of Spring Training
Firefighters flank the field at Fermi Lab
Stood at attention, conducting themselves as the captains they are
All must be silent for now is when new equipment is dispersed
Now is the moment of knowing
A mighty groan comes As the steel girders of the L bend neath the weight of The Car
For now, from the bowels of the Lowest Wacker...
The Axeman Cometh