Alyssa Harrell/Rumor Registry
Rumors
Alyssa Harrell has 5 Rumors written about so far.
Alyssa Harrell/IF-140.28
No one has ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, heard from, heard of, located, tracked, watched, spied on, sensed, felt, looked at, listened to, talked to, conversed with, or were able to discern anything about “Harrell." Anything you might have heard about "Harrell" is complete hearsay. It is impossible to describe "Harrell" because she does not exist.
Harrell does not exist
It was first determined that Harrell does not exist when, in mid-conversation with her in the Tiger’s dugout, Nagomi Meng turned to smile at Harrell and realized that she doesn't exist. It is posited by some that Harrell never existed, but it's impossible to know anything about something as hypothetical and forbidden as the past.
Harrell has made it clear that, if given the chance, she would sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
Harrell does not exist
The first day of Harrell's move to the New York Millennials was difficult, largely due to the fact she doesn't exist and the Mills hadn't noticed her arrive.
Although she has softened since joining the Mills, likely from developing a side gig for contractual reasons, Harrell is yet to reconsider the stance that, if given the chance, she would still sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
Harrell does not exist
Harrell was taking to Yellowstone National Ballpark rather well, and although she still wanted to sacrifice every fan in the stadium one by one, the urge was lessening.
Whether Harrell wishes to sacrifice the park's visitors one by one remains to be seen.
Harrell does not exist
Arriving in Hawai’i under the domain of Our Lady, Harrell made a smooth transition to island life, where she took up a hobby of hunting invasive species, but otherwise was able to unwind to some degree.
After an extended stay in Hawai’i it seemed uncertain if Harrell was still interested in sacrificing every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
Harrell does not exist
When Harrel first joins the Crabs they are in a state of disarray. With long-time Crabs Luis Acevedo and Parker Parra gone from the lineup, a newly returned and debted York Silk, rumours of Nagomi McDaniel’s involvement in the affair, and Tot Fox and Pedro Davids still elsewhere, there was hardly any time to worry about a woman who did not exist. In fact the only one who seemed to notice she had joined the roster was Brock Forbes, who thanks to being split across an infinite number of dimensions had a penchant for seeing things that other people could not. who greeted her with a simple “Hello” that she was unaccustomed to. After the first few attempts he had to specify, “I’m talking to you”.
Harrell and Brock had a brief discussion about her current state of being and the current state of the team. He needed someone he could rely on, and she needed Something she could not have . Harrell and Brock discussed the terms of this arrangement and they came to a agreement. As Brock ventured down into the depths of her domain, he made it clear to everyone that “this is not a deal.”
It was a simple enough outcome. A complex doll made of bone and chitin, forged using things that only Brock remembered how to do with power from a god he had long since betrayed. It’s delicate ball joints juxtaposed with it’s hard surface, and it’s face still and unmoving, but it undeniably existed. It was impossible to move, there was nothing that existed that could position it's joints and connections, or move it's limbs to appear alive.
And just like that Harrell didn’t exist, but this thing did. Rising from the bay and carrying the doll in his hands, Brock turned to Harrell and asked, “How do you like it?"
Send my regards to Baldwin and Deborah.
Time on the Baltimore Crabs
It was only thanks to Harrell’s considerable will that she was able to move the doll at all, but she found that when it was convenient, it was good to have the option. After so many years, she was comfortable with her state of being and still liked to stay non-existent when it suited her. Her and Brock found an equilibrium as they worked to keep the team functioning in the chaos of the ILB, as well as Harrell getting to show off all her “cool vape tricks” to Brock in the Tillman Henderson Memorial Restrooms.
Alyssa Harrell/IF-30.944
Harrell Check!
Harrell does not exist. Harrell always tries her best and will get 'em next time. She takes the team out for melted ice cream after each game, win or lose.
Hades Tigers
It was first determined that Harrell does not exist when, in mid-conversation with her in the dugout, Nagomi Meng turned to smile at Harrell and realized that she doesn't exist. It is posited by some that Harrell never existed, but it's impossible to know anything about something as hypothetical and forbidden as the past.
Harrell has made it clear that, if given the chance, she would sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
New York Millenials
The first day of Harrell's move to the New York Millennials was difficult, largely due to the fact she doesn't exist and the Mills hadn't noticed her arrive. Not wanting her to feel left out again, the players now call out for a "Harrell Check" so Harrell can let them know she isn't there.
Although she has softened since joining the Mills, likely from developing a side gig for contractual reasons, Harrell is yet to reconsider the stance that, if given the chance, she would still sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
Yellowstone Magic
Upon her arrival to Yellowstone, she was offered her a seat at the campfire and a life free from side hustles. Outside of the concrete jungle, she has flourished, settling in to her new life under the blue sky and reportedly becoming slightly more real every day. When asked how she feels in her new environs, she saidWhether she wishes to sacrifice the park's visitors one by one remains to be seen.[Subject unable to be found for comment]
Rumor has it that Harrell has been replaced by a nearly indistinguishable entity also known as Harrell, which also doesn't exist. They appear to be linked, with only one not-existing at any given time. When one of them is not existing, it is not clear where the other is, although speculation abounds.
An Alternate Altercation
Harrell was taking to Yellowstone National Ballpark rather well, and although she still wanted to sacrifice every fan in the stadium one by one, the urge was lessening.
Nevertheless, an alternate being also known as Harrell arrived in the stadium one day. Alternate Harrell and Yellowstone Harrell are two connected, mutually exclusive entities. When Yellowstone Harrell does not exist, Alternate Harrell is real, and vice-versa. Alternate Harrell exists most of the time, but not always.
Alternate Harrell came to the park to try to protect everyone from Yellowstone Harrell's homicidal tendencies. Unfortunately, everyone during Season β5 had intensely feral vibes, and Alternate Harrell has started to show signs of succumbing to the feral vibes and becoming less restrained.
With the passing of the Milennials' Wesley Dudley in Season 7, Harrell inherited his prize sourdough starter. In Yellowstone's highly microbial environment, it seems to have picked up some new tricks, but still produces a killer loaf of sourdough rye.
Hawai’i Fridays
Arriving in Hawai’i under the domain of Our Lady, Harrell made a smooth transition to island life, where she took up a hobby of hunting invasive species, but otherwise was able to unwind to some degree. Much to the surprise of her teammates, Harrell discovered that she was the only one who could understand their captain, Fletcher Yamamoto. Unfortunately since most of the time Harrell’s teammates could not hear her, this made for some very confusing plays from their foul mouthed avian captain.
Philadelphia Pies
While waiting for her turn to bat during a series with the Philly Pies, Harrell noticed Ed Woodman, walking in her direction, wearing what appeared to be colorful, floral print. Grumbling under her breath, "I've seen this movie before," she quickly ran over to the Pies dugout, and hopped on the bench. After some brief confusion, the Pies quickly initiated their newest member by teaching her to flip a car (safely, of course), and shared a coconut cream pie recipe after a request for a gift for "someone special". With the initiation complete, Harrell completed her first (and to date, only) at bat for the Pies. Upon her return to the dugout, she was surprised to find Woodman, reportedly complaining that, "I was only gone for 20 minutes guys", "I just like their merch and wanted to try their wooder ice", and "I told Beasley and Mora!"
Hawai Fridays (again)
After her brief holiday to Philly, not much changed for Harrell, though there were rumours of her and Baldwin Breadwinner being seen baking bread together. In season 10 however, she was unexpectedly reunited with an old friend from the Tigers in season one - Nagomi McDaniel. The two of them were happy to catch up, but what struck Harrell was just how much had changed for her old teammate. In comparison it seemed that despite all this time on and all these teams, Harrell wasn’t far from where she started. Rather than bemoan her fate, Harrell took things into her own hands. Specifically she took things out of other people’s hands and into her own hands by intercepting two infusions being aimed at her teammate Jacob Winner and claiming them for herself. Now a five star hitter, pitcher, and baserunner, Harrell was ready to go toe to toe with anyone in the league.
Baltimore Crabs
When Harrell was traded to Baltimore she experienced an extremely strange feeling. Harrell was recognized. Not by the authorities, not by the god of the bay, and not even by her old teammate Nagomi McDaniel. The second that Harrell made eye contact with Pedro Davids however, the two of them both remembered a night they had nearly spent in a jail cell after a protest in Puerto Peñasco, but had managed to evade the authorities with good luck, fair winds, and a well timed kick to the back of a police cruiser. And while many people see the two of them as past their prime of starting trouble and getting into fights, Pedro and Harrell saw right through each other, and were ready to find some more trouble to get into, and fights to start.
Harrell and Pedro both eagerly await games against the Hawai’i Fridays both as a chance to play against old teammates, but also as a way to see their respective significant others. Harrell is happy to find some time to spend with Baldwin Breadwinner, and Pedro has an opportunity to exchange letters with Valentine Games in person. Pedro and Harrell also happily take the time to compare how incredible and talented their partners are with each other, which can quickly devolve into a good spirited competition that the rest of the team finds either extremely sweet, or extremely exasperating.
Their only recorded double date ended with the four of them being banned from both from the local mini-glolf course and Olive Garden.Alyssa Harrell/IF-41.351
No one has ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, heard from, heard of, located, tracked, watched, spied on, sensed, felt, looked at, listened to, talked to, conversed with, or were able to discern anything about “Harrell." Anything you might have heard about "Harrell" is complete hearsay. It is impossible to describe "Harrell" because she does not exist.
The Hades Tigers
Harrell has never played for the Hades Tigers.
It was first determined that Harrell does not exist when, in mid-conversation with her in the dugout, Nagomi Meng turned to smile at Harrell and realized that she doesn't exist. It is posited by some that Harrell never existed, but it's impossible to know anything about something as hypothetical and forbidden as the past.
Harrell has made it clear that, if given the chance, she would sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
The New York Millennials
Harrell has never played for the New York Millennials.
The first day of Harrell's move to the New York Millennials was difficult, largely due to the fact she doesn't exist and the Mills hadn't noticed her arrive. Not wanting her to feel left out again, the players now call out for a "Harrell Check" so Harrell can let them know she isn't there.
Although she has softened since joining the Mills, likely from developing a side gig for contractual reasons, Harrell is yet to reconsider the stance that, if given the chance, she would still sacrifice every single fan in the stadium. One by one.
The Yellowstone Magic
Harrell has never played for the Yellowstone Magic.
Harrell was taking to Yellowstone National Ballpark rather well, and although she still wanted to sacrifice every fan in the stadium one by one, the urge was lessening.
Nevertheless, an alternate being also known as Harrell arrived in the stadium one day. Alternate Harrell and Yellowstone Harrell are two connected, mutually exclusive entities. When Yellowstone Harrell does not exist, Alternate Harrell is real, and vice-versa. Alternate Harrell exists most of the time, but not always.
Alternate Harrell came to the park to try to protect everyone from Yellowstone Harrell's homicidal tendencies. Unfortunately, everyone during Season β5 had intensely feral vibes, and Alternate Harrell has started to show signs of succumbing to the feral vibes and becoming less restrained.
With the passing of the Milennials' Wesley Dudley in Season 7, Harrell inherited his prize sourdough starter. In Yellowstone's highly microbial environment, it seems to have picked up some new tricks, but still produces a killer loaf of sourdough rye.
The Philadelphia Pies
Harrell has never played for the Philadelphia Pies.
While waiting for her turn to bat during a series with the Philly Pies, Harrell noticed Ed Woodman, walking in her direction, wearing what appeared to be colorful, floral print. Grumbling under her breath, "I've seen this movie before," she quickly ran over to the Pies dugout, and hopped on the bench. After some brief confusion, the Pies quickly initiated their newest member by teaching her to flip a car (safely, of course), and shared a coconut cream pie recipe after a request for a gift for "someone special". With the initiation complete, Harrell completed her first (and to date, only) at bat for the Pies. Upon her return to the dugout, she was surprised to find Woodman, reportedly complaining that, "I was only gone for 20 minutes guys", "I just like their merch and wanted to try their wooder ice", and "I told Beasley and Mora!"
The Hawai’i Fridays
Harrell has never played for Hawai’i Fridays.
Arriving in Hawai’i under the domain of Our Lady, Harrell made a smooth transition to island life, where she took up a hobby of hunting invasive species, but otherwise was able to unwind to some degree. Much to the surprise of her teammates, Harrell discovered that she was the only one who could understand their captain, Fletcher Yamamoto. Unfortunately since most of the time Harrell’s teammates could hear her, this made for some very confusing plays from their avian captain.
The Baltimore Crabs
Harrell has never played for the Baltimore Crabs.
She still didn’t exist on the Crabs. If you looked just right at her bat you could see that she’s added a novelty crab scrunchy to decorate it for her newest team, even as most of them didn’t see her. She was however excited to be reunited with York Silk and Nagomi McDaniel, who she played with on the Fridays and the Tigers. York still remembered all the sign language she taught him,and Nagomi was happy to have another familiar face around who remembers them from the old days.
Alyssa Harrell/IF-89,991
In Literature
Crabs Poet Laureate Runolfio Peeper wrote the following about Harrell:
Alyssa, noble brilliant champ,
In such short time you left your stamp,
Upon this poet’s crabby shell,
With talents one could never sell.
But then, alas, we bid adieu,
And why or where we have no clue
Quite bitterly we were impacted
The day Alyssa was [ ]
Alyssa Harrell/IF-98.361
Hypothetically, "Harrell" might exist, and if she did, she would be completely justified in any hypothetical crimes she might choose to commit. Hypothetically, on the day she was hypothetically swapped with the Hawai'i Fridays' former player Dadly Bradley from whatever hypothetical team she came from before, she might have hypothetically absorbed his Dad Vibes and become the de facto second lefty hitter (after, of course, Our Lady of Perpetual Friday). This is possibly the first record of "Harrell's" non-existence, though it is hard to be sure since the record does not actually exist.
No one has ever seen, heard, touched, smelled, tasted, heard from, heard of, located, tracked, watched, spied on, sensed, felt, looked at, listened to, talked to, conversed with, or were able to discern anything about "Alyssa Harrell." Anything you might have heard about "Alyssa Harrell" is complete hearsay. It is impossible to describe "Alyssa Harrell" because she does not exist.
Notably, she has not paid taxes since 2009. This is notable because it is impossible for this information to be recorded, because she does not exist.
Harrell has not
A list of things that Harrell has not done includes, but is not limited to, the following:
- Tax evasion
- Election Fraud
- Hunting invasive species in Hawai’i
- “Time theft”
- Jailbreaking an iphone
- Base theft
- Dumping Old Bay into the Chesapeake Bay
- Prank-calling Beck Whitney and asking for "I P Freely"
- Using Terrell Bradley's email address to sign up for assorted newsletters
- Illegal gambling on croquet matches
- Skateboarding in restricted areas
- Waffle theft
Create New Rumor
To create a new Rumor for Alyssa Harrell, use the Page Creation tool to the right. The IF number needs to be a randomly generated 4 or 5 digit number with a period placed somewhere within, and it cannot match any numbers currently used on this page. We've generated one for you to use, but feel free to use a different number. This will create a subpage under Alyssa Harrell for inclusion in the main page. Visit Interdimensional Rumor Mill/Guide to read more about how to create a new Rumor.
